月曜日. December 30, 2019

Hi ulit

Papatapos na ang taon. Ang daming dapat gawin. Ang dami ko rin ipinag-aalala tungkol sa buhay buhay.

I just booked for my parents flight to Taiwan on Feb na sabay sa flight namin ni Mel. Bigla kong na realize na wala akong ipon and I need now 3 times of my original target budget. Lol. This is only 2 salary cut offs away. Bahala na.

Dad started exercising again para daw makapaglakad sya ng maayos pag nag Taiwan kami. When we had our family trip kasi in Intramuros, napagod sya at nagpaiwan nalang sa bench. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako kukuha ng pera. Hahahaha.

When we were in college, I had this friend na ang daming issues sa buhay. We often helped her get through her life as a student, but I used to hate it when this control freak  (myself) was already pulling her hair to help a friend get through an impossibly tight situation,  tapos the friend she was helping was acting all chill pa, saying, "God will provide."

Looking back, she was indeed able to go through all the hard times with just that idea though.

All my life, I've always worked and worried my way into having things done. It made me always stressed, but I did get things done. Iniisip ko if magwo-work ba sakin ang pagigimg chill. Right now, I feel like that's the best choice I have. God will provide.

------

Ang daming bagay na nag-aalala ako.

Yung work ko na hindi ko alam kung makikeep ko ba since we're still waiting for the decision of the client if they'll keep us or not. I'm not even regular yet. Hindi ko rin alam kung anong mangyayari pag hindi kami nakakuha ng favorable na decision.

Yung Taiwan trip nga.

My parents' health.

My singularity at this age. Yes, there's that too.

And then this person that I'm worried about...

yung future ng club...

kung dapat pa ba ko mag stay...

kung kaya ko bang isabay lahat ng to considering na ang dami ko na ring inaalala even without this...

...

I woke up early kanina. Mga 5am. At around 6am, bumaba ako sa may sala to find that I was alone in the house. Namalengke pala ang mga magulang ko. I took my time to enjoy the silence. I opened the back door of our house and smelled the fresh air sa garden ng tatay ko. Namunga na pala ang puno ng papaya. Yung isa, namumulaklak na. Pa chirp chirp lang din ang nga ibon at ang sarap nilang pakinggan.

Know what, hindi naman talaga ganun kasama. Ok naman talaga ang buhay ko. Sadyang mahirap lang talagang hindi mag-alala, pero kung tutuusin, ok lang naman talaga.

Siguro for once, kailangan ko ring matutunang maging chill at maniwala na God will really provide. 

May mga days na nalulungkot din ako at nao overwhelm. There were days I've spent crying because I felt unsure on what to do. Days that looked so nice on the external. But then they were. It's just that, life has so many angles pa at hindi naman lahat, naka capture ng camera.

2019 had been a happy year, but December was the most challenging part.

And it's not over yet.


03:04 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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