Must be a side effect of BL love bug. Guess I'll allow myself to write this uber mushy thoughts. Lol.

See, I've always thought that the concept of "closure" is all bs...

I'm 100% sure that I no longer feel the same way now. But it surely bug me why it was so much easier for me to forget everyone else, but you.

Gah! I hate that line!

It's more than a decade too late. I still remember the desperate look on your face when you were holding onto my wrist, asking me to stay.

Again, I'm 100% sure I no longer feel the same way. I guess I've been bothered because of the things that you said. Or how you've gotten a lot of things wrong. Or on how I didn't bother to correct all the misunderstandings.

Your feelings had long been reciprocated. Sorry, I didn't tell you. 

It had always been mutual. Sorry, I didn't let you know.

I was happy whenever you gave me gifts. I was just too embassarassed to say thank you. Sorry.

When you asked if I was happy being the reason of someone else's pain, I thought those were just your baseless accusations. Sorry, it took me some time to get where you were coming from. I should've told you. I should've corrected. Sorry. 

Oh gawd, this is pointless. I just don't know where to put all these long overdued apologies knowing it will never reach you. It's pointless.

But maybe I'll just use this dissatisfaction as a lesson never to do the same mistake again. I want to happily move forward without having to carry all these.

Ok. Stop na.

-------

Skipped work today. My stomach hurts. Boss didn't reply. Bahala na.

Few days to rto. Thinking about this is giving me insomnia, I can't explain why.

In a way, I think I also want to go out and see the world again. Pero kasi... can't I really do that at home?

04:20 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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