I feel lazy. I want sleep. I took a half-day yesterday because of my wound. Instead of sleeping the rest of my extra time, I spent it as usual- holed up in my room, reading BL.

The neighbor was chatting with me last night, it took me by surprise. I remember, a friend told me off because of some married dude who kept chatting with me at nightime. She said, red flag daw. I brushed it off as the guy wasn't my type. This time might not be the case.

He was a childhood crush. Having been with him for a few of my trips already, I figured he's really a natural flirt. Also, he's very good-looking. Pero siguro okay lang. Baka nakiki friends lang naman talaga. I'm too lazy for landian these days anyway. 

We're all starting to live with COVID. I think I want to start going out and meet good men again. During my rest days from work, I'm too lazy to even flex a finger, and I also need to spend a few hours of my rest day at the hospital, because my wound is still open, and I even got 3 new ones. Packing Sheet talaga.

Anyway, ang cute nung isang male nurse. He has cute curly hair, and looks young. May konting panghaharot sya, but maybe he's just being friendly. Nakakatamad mag mini flirt-back. Baka hindi ko rin kasi mapangatawanan.

Sa ngayon, gusto kong magtravel ulet. Nag back-read ako ng mga entries years ago, and I was surprised na gusto ko pala magkaron ng anak dati. Right now, I think that's already out of question. Una, sobrang baba ng tolerance ko sa pain. Pangalawa, parang hindi naman masaya. Pangatlo, hindi talaga praktikal. Iniisip ko kung meron bang lalaking gusto ng childless marriage with a woman like me. I mean, may point ba ang marriage kung hindi kayo mag-aanak? But with my current self, I'm pretty sure I don't want to have children.

I went out with my on-and-off kaharutan a few months back. He kept saying na bagay daw kami kahit wala akong na hit ni isa sa mga nabanggit nyang non-negotiables. When I told him I don't want to have kids, he made a super long pause. After no'n, sinabi nya lang na dapat daw, yung mga ganung ka importanteng bagay e pinag-uusapan ng maayos. We just left it at that. It's not like we're really going out anyway.

During my trips, I did meet a few cute guys. I was even approached to a few times. Tingin ko mabenta talaga ang mga pinay sa foreigners. Gusto ko ba ng foreigner? I find white men quite intimidating. Mas naku cute-an pa ko sa indian and other brown men. Pero syempre, the best parin kung Japanese. Siguro, it will be like dating your anime 2D crushes, if you manage to end up with one no?

Type na type ko yung gumawa ng latte art ko when I was in Japan. I didn't know he will be there, dahil ang alam ko e dun sya nagwo work sa latte art stand of the same shop, about a train station away. Nagulat lang ako na nandun sya when I was there. When I talked to him in Japanese, ini-English nya ko. Tas pag nag e-English naman ako, mukhang di nya ko naiintindihan. I got tired of trying. LOL. But not wanting to end things just like that, I sent him a message in IG. Hindi naman nag reply. Hahaha. I wonder if I should've sent my message in Japanese. Oh well.

Tinatamad ako sa buhay. Gusto kong bumalik sa Japan. Sana nga makabalik ako ulet sa Japan, and sana nga, this time I'll get to snatch a Japanese boyfriend na.

11:36 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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