Entries in category "Sunday"


Sunday, October 14, 2018

Sunny side up

It's Sunday and I was starting to feel bad that it's Monday tomorrow when I came across Bo Sanchez's vid saying something like, "wherever you are, there's a reason why you're there." I don't feel so bad anymore.

At  my room now. I turned my study table into working table for gardening stuff so everything's beyond messy. 2 months since I started having an interest with plants and I already have 3 casualties. Truly heartbreaking. But I learn so many things. I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure that none of my plants will ever die again.

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Watched an orchestra for the first time last Friday and I was mesmerized by the soloist. I'm no expert in music, but with these ears, I know na angat na angat ang quality ng music nya kahit ikumpara pa sa buong orchestra. Sobrang galing. She's 17. Said she started playing violin at 12. Made me ask myelf, "ano bang pinaggagagawa ko when I was at that age?"

On stage and sa picture, she looked like a young lady. But when we met her sa backstage, she looked more like a kiddo. Her eyes emit so much innocence, para syang baby. Papasa syang Elementary. So young pero sobrang successful na sa larangang pinili nya. Feeling ko tuloy, sinayang ko ang kabataan ko. Lel.

Kung makakausap ko kaya ang 40yo self ko, ano kayang ibibigay nyang advice sakin? Gusto kong malaman kung ano ano ang magiging regrets ko sa future para masiguro kong mapre-prevent ko yung sarili ko from having those regrets. 

Kung mababalikan ko ba ang younger self ko, ano kayang ia-advice ko sa kanya?

-kalma, wag masyado madrama. Be happy.

-don't have your tooth extracted kung pwede naman ipasta para lang makatipid. Siga ulo ka?

-don't take CE. Go for ECE.

-go talk to them. They are your future good friends.

-utang na loob, wag kang mag ROTC. Take NSTP. Utang na loob.

-take care of your health

-don't pop that pimple

-dog fur causes you pimple. You don't have to wash your face 10x a day.

-magpapayat early to avoid cellulite and back fats. You'll have a hard time getting rid of those when you get older.

-grab those free Mandy Moore concert ticket. Tiisin mo nalang ang galit ang mama mo kasi sayang, Baby, sayang!

-rent a bed space in college. Maawa ka sa sarili mo and don't commute 5-6 hrs daily. With that, you don't have to miss all the exciting school events, ie. concerts, dating games, etc.

-sleep. You'll have a hard time getting rid of your eyebags when you get older. Please sleep.

-invest in stock market and make sure to buy double dragon stocks at 2php. The price will shoot up to 50+ in less than a year. 

Man, I think I can go on and on on this.

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Gusto ko mag travel. Gusto ko ng dagat. Gusto ko bumalik sa Baguio. It is only in times like this that I wish na wala pang asawa si Injan, my favorite travel buddy.

Ang nakakalungkot lang sa single e madalas wala kang mayayang gumala...

That's not entirely true though. 


Written by cinderellaareus at 09:53 PM.

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Sunday, September 16, 2018

1034

Clock reads 9:32PM. It's the 3rd day of my 4-day long weekend. Tomorrow's the last and I'd be out for a movie.

A few days back, I watched Goyo. I can't understand where the bad reviews are coming from because it was so good.

The last time, shinare ko yung post ni Heneral tungkol sa Goyo, tapos, Bes, hinart nya! Syempre lumundag ang fangirl heart ko. Nakakatuwa.

Totoong isa si Heneral sa mga writers na hinahangaan ko. Pero bukod sa writing skills nya, siguro yung mga pinaniniwalaan nya ang higit na hinahangaan ko at yung tapang nya na tumayo para rito.

Gusto ko ring maging writer. Gusto kong maging parte ng isang pelikulang mag-aangat ng antas ng kalidad ng mga pelikula sa Pilipinas. Pero bukod sa pagsusulat, gusto ko rin maging kasing tapang ni Heneral.
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My definition of a bad ass woman is someone who gets what she eats from her backyard, runs with her dog in the morning to stay in shape, and fearlessly does whatever outrageous things she feel like doing... but most of all, she has to be kind.

I want to be a bad ass woman.
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Ang mahal daw ng sili ngayon. May tanim naman kaming sili pero saktong pang gamit lang. Ikayaman ko kaya kung magtatanim ako ng marami pang sili?

Gusto ko nang magtayo ng sarili kong garden. O kaya farm. O pwede rin hacienda para bongga.
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I set my other phone on airplane mode and I'm now playing some meditative song on it. Itinabi ko sa pinakamaarte kong alaga.

Two months since I've started planting succulents and I feel like it's very close to having pets. Hindi talaga prepared ang puso kong mamatayan ng halaman. To date, I have 17 plants. My most favorite one is the most maarte among them. Sabi sa group na finafollow ko sa Facebook, fast-draining soil, once a month watering, bright shaded area and no to full sun. Then above all, wag daw papansinin. Sinunod ko lahat ng advice except the last. I checked it kanina, meron na namang molds at mga latang dahon, samantalang hindi pa sya nadidiligan ever. Hays. O sya, walang pansinan kung walang pansinan. Sinubukan ko nalang rin syang patugtugan ng music dahil healthy daw sa halaman. Sana mag work. At sana naman, wag mamatay ang paborito kong alaga.
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I was feeling exceptionally lonely this morning. I thought maybe making someone happy will make me happy, so I helped Mom with the laundry. I also help her cook her favorite ginataang bilo bilo. Ok naman...

Iniisip ko kung hanggang kelan ba ko ganito.


Written by cinderellaareus at 10:38 PM.

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Sunday, August 12, 2018

Buwan ng wika and a broken heart

"Titaaaaaaa! Gawa mo ko tulaaaaa!"

Belted my niece last night. She'll be needing to create and memorize a poem daw for their buwan ng wika thingy at school. She's 3 years old. The poem should be in line with the theme, "Filipino: Wika ng saliksik". WTF, this is supposed to be for 3 yo's???

I just got a message from our VPE asking if I can back him up for the up coming Filipino Speech contest because he will need to send the preggy wife to the final checkup then. Ambait ko, I said yes.

Truth is, I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. It took me a while to remember why. 

He changed his status. I guess that confirms everything. I think this is the first time. Siguro wrong timing lang kasi I'm single right to the last fiber of my being at this very moment. Kaya siguro mejo masakit. Ok lang.

Pag alam mo kasing single pa, maiisip mo na baka pwede pa. Pero now na hindi na, maybe its gonna be easier to dust off cobwebs from the past and move on to the present. Maybe I'm just sad.

...

Isang tula at isang speech. Sana kasing dali lang ng pagsulat ng isang blog entry. Pwede bang i-take ko muna yung time ko para ma broken hearted for a while?

Lol. Ok lang yan.

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Kung magtatayo ako ng negosyo sa twing heartbroken ako, yayaman ba ko?

Gusto ko magtayo ng garden at magbenta ng halaman. 


Written by cinderellaareus at 02:45 PM.

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Sunday, July 1, 2018

Not

Woke up and it's almost noon. My arms still hurt from hours of sorting files and what not. How are you? I woke up not feeling ok.

My heart is acting up. The literal thing. Feels like my left chest is being pierced with a fine long needle. The pain is bearable but it's been going for 3 days now. Do I have to see a doctor?

I don't feel emotionally ok too. I wonder if it's my literal heart's fault. 

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"Ba't di kayo nagpapansinan?"

... and I thought I was the only one who noticed.

This happened before only with different person. I wonder if things will work a whole lot better if we will remove all romantic thoughts and just be friends. 

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Bea was moving her car then and we ended up having a convo about our favorite topic-- men.

I told her about this dude I like from another club and she was like, "mahilig ka talaga sa effeminate no?" I immediately asked her if the dude is gay. Hindi naman daw. 

I also told Bea about someone I recently like in our club and she was like, "crush mo si *@&#^#^#&@^ ??!!!" - repeat 10x. Lol. I swear I love this girl and all, but she always make me question my taste in men. 

Iniisip ko tuloy na if within Toastmasters ako maghahanap, mukhang malabo labo ang magiging future ko ng love life ko. But I'm still hopeful. There's a lot of great men within TM, I think I just have to figure out an effective way to get them. *wink wink*

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Then here goes the heart problem again. Gtg. : (


Written by cinderellaareus at 08:21 PM.

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Sunday, June 3, 2018

And we're back to regular programming

Hello Tabby! It's Sunday. Most schools will start their classes by tomorrow and I'm bracing myself for the worse traffic jam.

Our baby Kaitlyn's back. She's been away for a month. Was too sleepy to get up this morning but Mom woke me up at 6am and I was hearing our baby girl calling me. Whenever that girl is at home, there's no way she'll let me stay in my room in peace. Not really complaining.

I feel like I'm going to go back to my normal life. I don't really feel bad about. There's something I feel happy about but for a reason I couldn't even remember. 

Went back to sleep after breakfast. Woke up past lunch. I don't how can I sleep tonight e kakagising ko lang.

Weird. I feel like I'm about to start a new life when there's nothing really new about my life. I actually feel excited about it for no reason. I think it's not a bad thing though.

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It's June now. 1 more month and we're halfway 2018. I know the half of the year wasn't so bad, but maybe I can do so much better.

My hopes are high. I know great and even happier days are ahead.

All smiles. : )

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There's this dude from another club that I'm interested with. Wala naman akong balak makipag harutan for now, I just want to take a closer look. Jeez, why can't I reconcile with my own schedule?  T_T


Written by cinderellaareus at 07:32 PM.

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Sunday, May 20, 2018

Hot

My head. Must be the red days.

I just got home after meeting a customer. All good. Was chatting with another while in the bus on my way to home. Nakakapikon kausap si Ate. "Last price" daw, insert smileys. Ano to, Divisoria? Raaaawr!

Pero sa tingin ko, hindi lang red days ang source ng init ng ulo ko. Kinailangan ko na naman mang unfollow ng tao sa facebook.

Nakakalungkot. Feeling ko kasi ganito rin ako years ago back when it was still R. Inuulit ko lang din yung mga mali ko. Dapat talaga hindi tumatalo ng kaibigan.

Bilang damage control, promise last na to.

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Just responded to a message from some dude na ages go ko nang dinededma. Nasa tatlong cathegory lang kasi madalas yung mga lalaking nagugustuhan ko. Minsan bading, minsan may asawa, minsan tropa. At least tong lalaking to, hindi nag fall sa kahit alin dito sa tatlo.

Sisimulan ko narin sigurong isa isahing i-accept ang friend requests ng nga taong hindi ko kakilala. Napanood ko kasi sa tv na yung iba, sa ganitong paraan nagkakatuluyan. Hindi naman sa gusto ko na magjowa agad agad. Kung tutuusin, yung gusto ko lang yung gusto ko. Ayoko naman talaga ng iba. Pero... sighs... sige, damage control. Para rin siguro mabaling yung atensyon ko sa iba.

..

Ang sakit pilitin ang sarili. Putek.

Pero ganun yata talaga. Parang bitter medicine na kailangan mong i-take. 

Nalulungkot ako.

Namimiss kita.

Ayoko na nga.

..

Promise, huling drama ko na to tungkol sayo...


Written by cinderellaareus at 09:55 PM.

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Sunday, May 20, 2018

You, me, them

A few nights ago, I had a dream and you were there. I rarely dream about the men I care about except for R and now there's you. It's kinda eerie.

The setting was simple. Parang pajama party. We are with a friend innocently lying on a bed. Just resting. You, the friend, me. You reached out over the friend's head to hold my wrist. I just let you. We did all these daw so quietly so no one will notice. Tas may dumating atang tao so I quickly removed my wrist from your hand.

In real life, there was no bed, but you reached for my wrist. It made me wonder if we had the same dream.

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Bff sent me a link of a dating site where she found her fiance. The rest of my single friends are planning to visit other divisions to expand our network. 

It's not so thrilling to look for someone else when your eyes are fixed at someone you consider special.


Written by cinderellaareus at 08:56 AM.

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Sunday, May 6, 2018

Over and resolve

11:01pm. Will get back to work tom, dapat natutulog na ko.

Nakakatamad matulog. Gusto ko nalang magbasa hanggang sa sumakit ang ulo ko, o kaya mag picture ng mga products na ipo-post ko sa Facebook. Ayoko pa matulog.

Was browsing fb earlier. I saw someone's post and noticed the tiny star marking on the right indicating that I set his profile on a "see first" setting. I smiled and click the 3 dots and changed the setting from "see first" into "default". He was the only human being that I followed "see first".

How long was it? 11 years. Maybe my love isn't that shallow after all. 

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We have a guest last Fri na nakasabay namin pauwi. She kind of reminds me of Leian. I found out though that she's still single. I told her that if she's hoping to find a love life, she came to the wrong place because as far as I know, lahat ng member na single nung nagpamember ay single pa rin to date. Totoo kaya na may sumpa sa club? Lol. Come to think of it, nagka bf lang ulit si Neri when she left the club. I wonder of I should leave the club na. Haha.

Well, idk. Lately I've been reading my Tony Robbins book and it mentions something about modelling. Pick someone whose results you want to get. Copy their mindset, beliefs and behavior and you'll get the same result.

Sa tingin ko sigurado na ko sa result na gusto kong makuha. Iniisip ko nalang kung mali ba ang mga taong sinasamahan ko. Siguro dapat magkita kami ni Neri ulet. Tsaka parang gusto ko rin maging friend si Ms. Janice. I want to actively seek out people I can model from. I don't know if this will work but I want to at least try.

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Sa pagkakaalala ko, may part ng bible na nagsasabing protect your heart because everything flows through it. 

I've done this so many times at alam ko namang hindi effective, pero ginawa ko pa din. Sabi nila dapat daw maging specific tayo sa ating nga prayers. A little too specific ata yung saken. Sa dami ng taong hiningi ko sa Diyos, wala Syang binigay kahit isa. Pero dahil lahat ng hindi love life related na taong hiningi ko, binigay Nya, sigurado naman akong nakikinig naman talaga Sya. Sadyang sablay lang siguro yung mga hiningi ko. Still, hinahanda ko na rin ang puso ko sakaling mapag desisyunan Nya ulit na ibigay sa iba imbis na saken yung hinihingi ko. Ibigay Nya man o hindi, in the end, alam kong ibibigay Nya yung pinakamabuti.

Sigurado na ko sa gusto ko. Hindi man yung specific na gusto ko yung makuha ko, deliberately, gagawa ako ng paraan para makuha ko to.

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"Alam mo bang hiningi kita sa Langit?"

isang araw, sasabihin ko to sa taong makukuha ko.


Written by cinderellaareus at 11:34 PM.

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Sunday, April 22, 2018

Rain

Late April. It's still summertime, I wonder why it was raining early this morning.

I went to the market todat to buy gatorade and syringe for the pups. I researched the net last night, gatorade can help daw.

Don Juan had gotten worse. He didn't even drink water and his litter too was bloody. I remeber what the vet once told us about how the dog's eyes will sink once it's about to die. Gusto kong maniwalang kaya pa.

It's frustrating when all you can do is be there when someone's dying... He's just three months old. A few minutes before typing this, we lost him...

Mahina lang naman ang ulan kanina. Pero inside my chest, parang bumabagyo. Nakakainis. 

Ayoko nang mag-alaga ng aso.


Written by cinderellaareus at 04:22 PM.

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