Entries for September, 2013
woke up this morning with a broken hearted feeling, when my reality is not even close to that.
i may have had a bad dream again that i myself couldnt even remember. or maybe, it was that christina perry song booming in our sala that brought me that sad sad feeling..
still hunting my waking hours, even at this moment. even with just the sound of the ceiling fan playing in the background. i dont know what's wrong or what's the cause..
september 7 today.
i wonder if the date would ring a bell..
..i just remember i love yellow lights..
yeah, i, too, cannot see the connection..
what's wrong?? what's wrong? what's wrong?
...
damn.
02:29 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
home.
excessive food intake. kaylangan ko ng mag diet.
bro's been going to the gym. im thinking of doing the same.
true, my budget's tight as it is. side effects of being jobless for almost two months. i think i just want to settle my financial duties first before minding my other needs..
jeez..amount of bills to pay are escalating. all and all, its not actually beyond my capability to pay for them all, only, i really got to tighten up a bit in terms of the expenses.
former officemates set up a meetup. got to be my treat..sighs..lakas din ng loob kong mang treat!!wahh!!
yeah, my payslip may seem a little impressive, but my networth minus all the expenses is telling me otherwise.. damn..gusto kong mgka amnesia.. T_T
--
rave's new product seems to be a hit in the market..this is giving us high hopes.. really, sometimes, im not really sure if i can bear the weight of my dreams..or if i am even capable of making them come true..
sighs..
im back to work tom..ive left something unresolved last week. it was not actually my thing to leave things unresolved, its just that i really went out of any other options..jguy2 and i are virtually not talking. i dont know how else are we gonna go back to what we were before. damn. this is stressful. i do not even know what's actually going on. his mood swings are really giving me headaches.. really, i just want to be in peace with everyone..oh, damn..bahala na nga sya.. 
sighs..
i hope next week will be better..oh, heavens..please, intervene.. i dont know how to fix this..oh, please..
sighs ulet..
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father m will turn 58 daw on sept 30. he's just a year younger than my dad pala.. i hope that the heavens will give him good health and long life so that he can continue in inspiring people and giving them hope. i really wish father mario well. heavens please..
i,too will be turning a year older in less than a month..i no longer have a whole lifetime ahead of me. i feel like as humans grow older, the range of their options become smaller.. well, whatever, i guess, we all just have to live with whatever there is and make the most out of it..
--
so, ok, じゃあ。
will be cooking fishballs now..
03:04 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
yesterday spent with walks.. yeah, literal walks.
the road in the mountains where i live in was closed for the gathering of a religious org/ sect or whatever you call them. basta, it sucked. they didnt just make the traffic suck. they cut it out altogether. i wonder if a noble cause of whatever purpose really requires causing multitude of people this kind of inconvenience. f*** them all..dang.
(mainit ulo?)
i walked for like 2 hours just to be able to ride a bus that could get to a place where civilization exists (i am referring to manila). buwis buhay men..kahet sa paglalakad, pati tao at motorsiklo, ngkanda trapik trapik.arggg! tapos pagkauwi ko, hindi parin pala tapos ang kanilang pamumwerhisyo. bwiiiiiseeeet!!!
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today, ipapakita na yata sa jessica soho si BOB ONG!!!! shocks..kinakabahan ako..
at oo nga pala, nagsign up kami ni yang sa kerygma seminar. minsan masaya rin ma meron kang nilolook forward.
will be meeting injan soon. its been a while since we last went out. hmm.. ano pa ba?
september na. ate violy told me that she wants me to be ruru's ninang. jeez..my nth inaanak..
magpapasko na..sa dami ng batang malamang na sumugod sa bahay namin sa pasko, parang kaylangan ko na yatang magkayod dinosaur. T_T
--
sabi nila pag nalulungkot ka daw, maglista ka ng masasayang bagay.
1. butterflies
2. rainbow
3. spaghetti
4. pajama party
5. fireworks
6. swimming pool
7. five star hotel
8. shangrila's heat
9. chocolate fountain
10. black forest cake
11. ice cream
shet, hindi naman ako sumaya..nagutom lang ako..
enough na nga..
じゃあ。。お休み
{ 気分} bad case of tonsilitis
03:36 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
hey. its been a while, right?
the week was a roller coaster ride. jguy2 was in good mood for a couple of days until the issue about me having to go live was brought up again.
things particularly went wild yesterday that in the middle of our BCP i and the TL were pulled out for a meeting amongst the bosses of the boss. i dont know why jguy2 has to be this hard. damn..im getting really annoyed.
the setup was settled. i will undergo series of test that i should pass. but actually, failing is not gonna be an issue since had i fail, they'd just gonna ask the clients to extend my training for another month or so. but still, because i am so annoyed, i dont want to fail. i just dont want to give jguy2 that kind of satisfaction. I MUST NOT FAIL. damn. i wish i can say this with much more confidence.
his mood swing was in full swing yesterday which i found so immature and its already getting into my nerves.. jeez.. i have to pass. i am the type who hates failing after all. and plus, i remember what the bosses of the boss said during the meeting..
"ikaw na"
"dapat pumasa ka"
"wag ka mapressure"
things like that. labo. before the meeting with the bosses of the boss, another TL talked to me about the issue, and by then, i really felt bad for causing this so much trouble..but after seeing the bosses of the boss whom i haven't seen before, i cant help but feel...what? in awe? i dont know..parang starstrucked, something..ewan. because, see, mine is a huge company wherein bosses seem like mythical creatures..(ok, maybe this is exaggerated)..basta. ang weird na medyo natutuwa pa ko..haha.
--so all in all, it wasnt bad..
the bcp was not as bad as i thought. its actually fun pa nga. the people that i was with are of different shift, most of them, i havent really seen before and vice versa. there were some boys beside me talking in low volume when the boss said,"pag-usapan nyo pa ha..pinoy yan.nagtatagalog yan..kala nyo ha..naiintindihan kayo nyan.." Were they talking about me?? i think its very obvious that im not japanese..ang labo..haha. i remember during introduction, i was just saying hello to everyone and they were like, "haroo" and "harigatoh" in an attempt to sound like japanese.. maybe, i should have spoken more words other than hello to make it obvious na marunong ako magtagalog. talaga bang naisip nila na hindi ako ngtatagalog?parang ang weird kasi.haha..crazy.
---
the TL and i had a few talks, i realize that she's kind of nice pala.
---
maybe i should just focus on the things at hand. the series of test next week. jlpt on dec..jeez, baka maging suicide mode na naman ako neto after the exam. taenes..ayokong bumagsak.. wahh!!!
studies..
work..
rave stuff..
mom asking for my saturdays to help out for another medical mission near home
kerygma seminar soon
..
wait..my birthday's coming na pala..
ang fast paced ng buhay. the very opposite of what i used to have. true, it sometimes feel like a roller coaster ride, and most of the time, i do not feel safe at all..but clearly..i got what i wanted..and i think..i prefer this life over the other..
pero sana..maging maayos parin lahat.
tapos isa pag sana..
..
sana..
isang araw magising nalang ako,
na yung gusto ko,
gusto rin ako,
para everybody happy di ba??
wahh!!!did i just say that??eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!
sigh.. i think im just lonely. maybe because shara is already married and my bro is getting married too. tapos, ako, i dont even have a boyfriend. jeez..ang pathetic..(slaps self at the face) arrrg!!
whatever.
---
tama
first things first..
mag aaral nalang ako..
amp
01:45 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
hey.
holiday sa jap, so no work for me today.
injan, injaned me yesterday when we were suppose to meet. i ended up shopping. total damage was 3k.
damn. pero ok narin, that's considerably smaller than how i use to spend my money back then.. i think im really getting better in this department. something that one can learn by being jobless and broke for like 2 months. ahh! those days.. sighs. i still do not feel far from being broke though. sighs ulets.. at least i have a job. nga lang i do not know how long..sighs(that's your 3rd, cinderella) ..eto na naman yung unsafe na feeling..
--
study mode now. the series of test should start by tomorrow. listening to audio files made me feel like that guy that i work with had every right to object on letting me start with real work. i want to cry. this really smells like trouble..
heavens..i need a miracle.
{ 気分} アイスクリームが欲しい。。
01:34 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
day spent with sighs..
kumukota na ko sa buntong hininga..taeness..
--
bff and i chatted in fb a few days ago, and she was like "bakit hindi ka pa nag iiskype?"
shet, taeness..i told her kasi na next time na tatawagan ko sya sa skype, may boylets na ko!!!Wahhh!!..kainezz!
she mentioned about her new prospect and on how she doesnt want to talk about the details yet kasi baka mausog. said she's trying out her flirting skills on the guy and will be updating me for improvement. a side of me is kind of excited for bff's lovelife, and the other side makes me want to kick my own butt and act. kasi, for heaven's sake, anong petsa na??!
sighs..
i know n 2pm ang out nya. simple lang naman ang plano. go out by 2pm flat para mag cr or something . be back by 2:02 kasi mga around ganong oras sya umaalis. so that by the time na pabalik ako sa room namin, palabas na sya..so wala syang kawala pag nagsabi ako ng "hi" o kaya "pauwi ka na?" or something pag nagkasalubong kami..di ba?simple lang naman. deym..
tuesday. sa sobrang busy ko, hindi ko namalayang alas dos na..so wala. walang nangyari.
wednesday. dinaga ako at nagprocrastinate, hanggang sa too late na, nag out na sya.
thursday. may dumaang IT to fix my pc's issue, kaya pa naman sanang humabol pero, wala e.torpe e.sigh..
*naman! naman!namaaaaan!!! mag ha-hi ka lang?!! ano ba?! loser!!! amp. :<
--
sa totoo lang, hindi naman talaga ang akitin sya or whatever ang purpose ko. i think i just want to test my courage and also feel that i am capable of doing something to prevent the extinction of my lovelife.
pero pak. wala talaga. loser. things like this should be natural for girls. dapat hindi na ineeffortan to..sighs..
sighs ulet.
--
a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush..
kung ang hina hunting ko nalang kasi e yung mga mukhang may interes saken, baka mas lumiwanag pa ang kinabukasan ko, di ba? ewan.
--
sighs..tama bang pino problema ko pa ang bagay na to habang ang ibang side ng buhay ko ay pagulo na ng pagulo..wahh!! labo men..
penging RICE..
damn.
{ 気分} confused, lost
09:06 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
today marks my second month at work. i, too, do not know why im counting it down.
tom's fr. m's bday. mine would be next week.
back to work tom.. back to the same old issues and troubles and confusions. but, mother earth, really, im not complaining.
--
watching the voice' finals now. damn, bamboo looks like a prince (writing this while drooling..lolols)
im hoping that myk will win..he's such a charmer.
--
anyway, nothing much for the week end.
was busy helping out in our tiny store. a good practice to improve my entrepreneurial skills.
more pressing stuff running in my mind lately. sometimes i do not know how else could my resources (namely, time, energy and money) suffice what the world demands of me at the moment. i know its impossible for me to run away. doing my best and hoping that the universe to do the rest are my only options. sighs again.
--
funny, while i was in the middle of my usual day dream about having a lovelife and all, a voice inside my head asked,
eh, may oras ka naman kaya for that?
ok, good point right there..
--
sighs.. feeling ko ang dami kong bitbit na baggages sa life.
10:15 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
