Kowai yo
木曜日: April 29, 2021



I'm scared, Universe.

Yesterday, someone went to our store and requested for a gcash money transfer, and ran off without paying.

Today naman, there were 2 people who called claming they were scammed money that was transferred to our gcash, and all the transfers were claimed by the same person. When I checked mom's messager, someone had sent her a message na rin pala last month with the same complaint. This time, with the full name of the person involved. Their transactions look nowhere near legal. We have filed a formal complaint to the cyber crime online. Ipapablotter din namin ang taong ito bukas. Nakakatakot, my God. Sana praning lang kami. Naiisip ko kasi na baka abangan nalang kami papunta sa baranggay. 

Earlier, I sat beside mom to tell her I'm scared and rested my head on her shoulder half jokingly. She shrugged my  head off her shoulder, so I went to my room and hugged my kittens instead. I wish that they'd live well no matter what happens to me.

The last complainant I talked to made me all the more scared. Natatakot talaga ko.

Dad earlier thought that we were just being OA. Until more complaints came, now he's refusing to say anything, all because we challenged his opinion.

I wish the supposed head of the house was not this immature. I also wish he had more spine. I understand that he's old. I just wish he have more conviction. Or at least the power to make us feel safe, even if it's not true. I don't know. Though we're still not on speaking terms, I had to rely on my brother's backbone because I had no other choice.

I hate spineless men.

I can feel how Mom is trying to keep my brother out of this though. I know she's protecting her favorite child, so she plans to endure this alone with her less favorite one (myself). I remember her saying na hindi nya daw kaya kung may mangyari kay kuya. I guess she's okay if it's me.

Ok lang. I just want to get through all these. I'm just so worried about my kittens. What will happen to them if I die?

This also made me realize that if I am to live independently, I need to grow stronger spine than this in order to protect myself and the things (animals) that I care about.

It's one thing to feel alone, you know., But to feel alone even when you're with your people is another. It's way sadder. Tapos alone ka na nga, scared ka pa. Ang saya! Haha. Huhu.

Please pray for me.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:41 PM.

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Comment posted on May 3rd, 2021 at 09:08 AM
Praying for you
Comment posted on May 3rd, 2021 at 09:23 AM
Salamat. Need that.
C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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