Entries for June, 2024
1 week since I've gotten back to PH, and I'm already itching to go back to Japan. I bought the biggest box of Shiroi Koibito cookies as pasalubong, but it was nowhere near enough. Next time I go there, I won't experiment on other snacks, but will just spend all of my pasalubong budget on Shiroi Koibito, and maybe some milk-flavored Kitkats. I didn't like the other flavors of Kitkat, so I'd stick with Milk. Will also buy some Royce chocolates, but maybe, 1 box lang. The best kasi parin talaga ang Shiroi Koibito.
Gah! I miss Japan. Mom said maybe I should just live there for a while hanggang sa magsawa ako. Maybe she's right, but I'll miss my cats.
My expenses were surprisingly lower than I expected. Marami pa akong naiuwing yen. And after paying all my credit card bills post travel, may tira pa kong pera for the month's budget. I thought I will need to sell stocks to pay everything. Yiii.
Anyway, that said, until this month nalang ang budget ko. I might need to sell stocks, or if I get lucky, maybe I'll get to receive payment from Tita's loan. She said she'll pay the rest of her loan by June. If she will pay me, then next month budget, plus Dad's birthday celebration, will already be covered. Wahhh! Crossing fingers. ><
Going to Japan despite unemployment turned out to be a great decision. Bago kasi ako umalis, nahihirapan na kong matulog from worrying sa kung anong gagawin ko sa buhay ko, since I really didn't want to go back to the corporate world again. Ngayon feeling ko mas clear at fresh na ang utak ko and more ready to tackle the challenges ahead.
Pero syempre hindi pa dito nagtatapos ang laban, in fact, nagsisimula palang.
I told Mom I plan to earn about 1M in a month, then live off with that for a whole year, which, if divided into a year's worth of monthly expenses, e just a few thousands less than my net salary back when I was still working. Since hindi naman ako mamamasahe at nasa bahay lang, I think it should be more than enough to keep our lifestyle. Ang tanong lang naman talaga e... paano?
Wahahaha!
Nagbasa ko ng reddit responses sa tanong na "how did you earn your first 1M(pesos)?" Alam ko namang hindi magiging madali, pero at least, hindi na naka panic mode ang utak ko, unlike before I left for Japan.
I want to bring Mom and Dad to Japan. I think I can afford it now since hindi ko naman nagalaw yung stocks ko plus ang dami ko pang yen. Ang problema lang e my parents don't have JP visa yet, and ako, bilang sole guarantor/financer ng would-be travel nila, will need to have show money for the visa application. I have less than 30k under my name right now, na mababawasan pa for the month's expenses. Wahaha!
Nakita ko yung simplified visa application for BDO cc holders na applicable daw sa family members ng credit card holders. Mag Korea nalang kaya kami? Mom's not thrilled when I told her na summer and rainy season sa Japan by June and July. She said it's not wise to travel during this season. I just checked and found that Korea's similar. Oh well.
Hindi porket konti lang ang nagastos ko sa JP trip ko e makatwiran nang gumastos without restraint. But if it's for my parents, then it's not unreasonable.
Another reason e kasi, yung pinsan ko, dinala yung parents nya at parents ng asawa nya sa Hong Kong. That kid's mom is my dad's sister. Tas yung asawa nun, Dad's brother-in-law, e.... uhm... idk. Basta, Dad hates Tito's guts. Niyayabangan daw kasi sya. I trust Dad's words, because he's not really the type to hate people's guts without reason.
True, my parents had been to Hong Kong and had traveled to more countries than they did, but knowing Tito, he'd probably come up with something annoying to brag about, despite that fact. Gusto ko lang na merong pang counter si Papa sakaling magyabang si Tito. Like, "nako, nung nag Hong Kong kami, bumagyo, kaya di kami masyado nakagala. Dinala na nga lang kami ng anak ko sa Japan para makabawi," or something like that. Hindi ako mapagpatol sa kayabangan, pero ibang usapan kasi pag parents ko na ang involved. I don't want them to look kawawa.
Ugh. Kailangan ko ng maraming pera.
05:54 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
So annoyed with a comment on my BL page. Alam ko namang maraming self-righteous people sa internet. Do I really have to expend energy and respond to them at the cost of my peace?
Hindi nga siguro. Pero nakakainis pa rin.
Ugh. Pwede ba sabunutan nalang para mabilis?
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I'm supposed to spend my time thinking of ways to earn money, and not fight some random strangers on Facebook. Alam ko naman. I haven't been my most patient self lately.
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Ano bang gagawin ko?
Father's day. Then Mom's birthday. Then Dad's 70th.
I think I still have money. Pero dahil hindi naman nadadagdagan at puro bawas lang, hindi ko maiwasang mag-alala.
Sana soon, maging maayos na rin ang lahat.
12:10 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
A friend sent a screenshot from a message she had with J.
Friend was inviting him for some event as another male friend was coming. Then J was like. "Yeah, pwede. Let's see. Dapat kasama din si Z." That's just his usual flirty banat.
He's always flirty with me in front of our friends, even when I'm not around. Pero pag kami lang, walang ganung usapan. There's this one time that a girl was clinging on to him which made our friends tease the two of them. Then, when we're finally alone, he made it clear to me that he's not interested with the girl, even when I wasn't asking.
Ilang taon na tayong ganito, J? Always flirting, but never really getting there. Sa totoo lang, I'm also not sure what I want to do with you. Siguro, okay na rin yung ganito. One time, I told you I don't want to have children. You paused for a bit, then just shrugged it off. I feel like you're convinced that you can talk me into changing my mind about it. Kahit yung difference natin in religion, sinabi mo na willing kang maging catholic ulet depende sa mapag uusapan, but I don't think you'd actually do it. Worth it ba na kailangan natin mag compromise for eachother?
Well, whatever. Sa ngayon, wala rin talaga ako sa posisyon para mag-isip ng mga ganyang bagay.
Dad's 70th birthday soon. Kailangan ko na namang magbenta ng stocks for that, and for our next month's budget. Wala akong matinong plano on how to earn money ng hindi nagtatrabaho. I'm thinking maybe I can earn through creating social media content, pero hindi pala ganun kadali. Even my BL page, hindi rin tumataas ang earnings. I had higher views when I was in Japan last month. Siguro dahil they have more lenient community guidelines. I have over 5 flagged contents, it seems to be affecting my site's recommendability. Posible kaya na magkaron ako ng kita dito na enough to replace my salary kung mag eeffort ako? Gaano ba kalaki ang market ng BL readers? Haaah. Hindi ko alam.
I also tried to start a travel-related page. 3 contents later, isa lang yung naging subscriber ko. Even Tiktok's not any easier.
Ano bang gagawin ko?
Pag dating ng August at hindi parin ako nakakahanap ng sustainable income, I probably need to find a job na. I feel defeated. God, ano pa bang ibang pwede kong gawin?
Ang weird siguro na pinanghihinaan ka kaagad ng loob, kahit hindi mo pa naibibigay ang lahat ng abot sa makakaya mo.
I'm a self-indulgent, desire-driven type of person. Hindi talaga ako kasipagan. And the times that I succeeded in my endeavors e only during those times na meron akong strong desire to have that something.
I do want to go back to my lifestyle before leaving my previous job. Gusto ko ulet mag travel. And I want to bring my parents to beautiful places, buy the things they like, and make them experience the finer things in life. Sapat ba tong desires ko to make me unstoppable? Sapat ba to to make me kick my lazy ass off and actually do something about my situation?
It's extremely comfortable dito sa bahay, you know. I can sleep long, eat freshly-cooked meals. I don't have to dread the traffic or getting wet when it's raining. I can cuddle my cats, my niece and nephew, annoy Mom and Dad, and read BL all day long...
Pero kasi... I need money. And even setting that aside, hindi rin masayang gumising knowing na tutunganga ka lang naman buong araw. Masarap humilata, oo, pero hindi naman talaga masaya.
Haaaaa. Ano bang gagawin ko?
Gusto ko paring maniwala na pag nagsawa na kong magtamad tamaran ay bigla nalang akong matatauhan, at maa awaken ko ang version ko na kayang kumita ng massive amounts of money, skillfully, effortlessly.
Tokwa. Kaya ko to.
10:04 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
