Entries for April, 2012
its a photo of you in a beach...
with a mono-colored sand and a distinct hue of blue that separates the sky from the sea..
the past which we all can never get back to. and at times, i feel like no matter how i try to think of myself happy with someone else, there would always be times when your memory will just pop out of nowhere..somewhere..
even in the sense of summer...somehow i feel like i wont be able to make friends with that word anymore..
somewhere in our past, you were once there..in a distance so near that i have to only stretch my fingers to reach you..
somewhere in our past, you were just as lonely as me.. when the possibilities were high..that we.. maybe..somehow..
well, now, everything just meant that its game over for me..
oh, you look handsome in that tuxedo suit by the way...
i found myself missing the comfort of my rainy days...
Written by cinderellaareus at 05:18 PM.
at the office..
its lola's birthday today..
i want to give time..
a few days ago someone said na im workaholic daw...and it came from a guy who barely knew me at all..
i want to give time..
i feel like i got too much to spend that only work could consume...
im missing my bff
i feel like im missing a lot in life..
but what am i to do..
im not workaholic..or am i??well, at least i dont want anyone else telling me that i am..
u not keeping your word is making me upset...
am i having too many prerequisites? i like guys who are true to their word like a man..but they are so scarce that they seem extinct to me..
i keep my words like a man though im every bit a woman..dont you see..
they say there are no perfect guy or perfect girl..im not perfect either..way far from being one..
but i hope..maybe..there's someone out there...who's far from perfect...but is absolutely perfect just for me..
Written by cinderellaareus at 11:37 AM.
i dont want to be rude and all, but i really hope that missed calls and ignored messages are enough for him to get the idea and quit bugging me for good..
yeah..i am being rude..but pleeeaaasee..this is getting really irritating now..arrrggg..
Written by cinderellaareus at 11:37 AM.
you are so right...
so damn right..
Written by cinderellaareus at 08:16 PM.
last night was a peculiar night.
i slept earlier than the usual but kept waking up so often that it seems like i never slept at all..
but the whole time i was in a dream..i cant remember..but it seem so important that i must remember,,
there was a snake..
i wonder what happened to the snake..
pak..i cant remember..
it seems like an important dream..
maybe i need to sleep again..
im feeling kinda low today,,have you ever felt guilty of a sin you wasnt able to commit..
that's how i feel now..
i feel hated for something i havent done yet..
its a sad day today..
Written by cinderellaareus at 12:07 PM.
haw tabby...i just feel like i got to write so i stormed right here in this net cafe.
..but i cant write..
i triumphed with pride, but in the end of the day it was me who went home heaving a heavy heart..
sabi pag may masakit may mali...ako ba yung mali kaya masakit? ang hirap mag-isip..hindi nlng ako mag-iisip.. feeling ko ang komplikado talagang maging tao...
sa facebook parang lahat ng tao masaya..badtrip tuloy..feeling mo ikaw lang yung hindi... pero hindi rin..
i dont know what to do next. i dont want to act rash. i wish he too wont. even if he pissed me off most of the time i still couldnt say that i dont care for him cause i actually do. because as much as he doesnt know, he was the one who had been there where when i needed someone the most.. he was the one who stayed when every one else left.. he says the most annoying things, but because of his tact i cant help but trust him more than those who speak kind words and act otherwise..
Written by cinderellaareus at 09:41 PM.
at home. the heat's killing me. i cant wait to be back to work.
i skipped work today because im "sick" (quote and quote)...i hate lying especially to people that i respect. but i just cant help it this time, right. this is the only way i can think of. i wonder how much i can lose in a day. i wish it wont include you...
i was with a girl-friend yesterday talking girly stuff and all.. i may not have much and im not asking for a lot more. i just want to keep those that i have close to me.. if my bff had been here, there shouldve been the three of us making a fool of ourselves. suddenly feeling thankful..
again, with a heavy heart, i pressed the apply button. 2 co. at a time..i cant leave work too often or the project will suffer.. this is the last engineering related jobsearch for me. i am seriously considering going back to college and study something that excites me.. with that i need a job that doesnt require much of may time but gives decent pay.. i am bound to find them...makakahanap ka nyan..basta maghanap ka lang.. that's what my friend nini say.. i wonder if i am still eligible for upcat. i should search..
i thought it wont hurt..but it does..maybe it would subside once i see someone i dont like to see.. im wondering if im really doing myself a favor by doing all these...
Written by cinderellaareus at 12:50 PM.
my parents' social life resulted to finding me a potential "guy" chorva.. the idea is just so preposterous that i find it laughable.. with my parents having this idea of setting me up for an arranged marriage and all..tae.whatever. it seem like they've reached to a point having a desperate measure na this time..ewan..npapa ewan nalang ako..
or..should i give it a try??if i fail, i could always back out naman... but well, the self that i knew has trouble of doing so.
pak this is just ridiculous. even the idea of ending up with someone else. of the "us" being impossible to happen..pains me..
jie and i met up yesterday. talking girly stuff and of course, boys. while she can barely decide on who among her boylets she actually like, im still the same old me who can only like a guy at a time...and i find it really troublesome.
we talked about having to get a move. of deciding what(who) we want and have a go for it. device our battle plan and laugh it off.. i find it really funny.. i know i was the one devicing all the crazy schemes, but i never really tried them. pak.
it bothers me...im not getting any younger... with me knowing what(who) i want, and my ultimate plan of getting it is to literally just wait for a miracle to happen, i know im standing not much of a chance.. sometimes im thinking i might as well consider my other options...haist..ang hirap mag-isip..
magtatrabaho nalang ako... -_-
Written by cinderellaareus at 05:15 PM.
there are two things i hate.
and the people who spread them..
i almost forgot i left an unresolved issue last week until someone reminded me.
i hate it when people insist on me things that they suppose i feel..i told them i dont really mind the matter but it seems like they want to insist that i've got to be upset just to make them right for thinking so..really..pak.i dont know if they genuinely want to help or maybe they're just bored with their lives to even care for other people's affair..
my tempers gonna snap if they dont stop all these nonsense..
and for heaven's sake, i dont even have time for this!!
Written by cinderellaareus at 12:08 PM.
Written by cinderellaareus at 03:35 PM.