Entries for August, 2012

his wife was away in a far off land when the kid was concieved..

he's  not that dumb.

so why is he carrying that child, given his name to it.

i  salute you man..with no questions asked, you accepted her back..as if nothing happened..

i heard you said before something about not wanting to let any woman put a shit on your face or something like that..but you chew that all..hats off to you..

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she's one heck of a lucky girl..

and you are...whatever..that's you..no judgement here..

but i know you're not fine..

pak that smile..they're obviously fake..

pak that..

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so let me cry for you tonight..

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love.

life.

unfair.

whatever.

 

03:25 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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if you cant just fit in..

maybe it should be obvious to get out..

..

i will.

11:54 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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why. hello.

no work yesterday. was able to have a good sleep. a allowed myself to eat masebo food with rice(i do not usually eat rice) for comfort on a rainy day..and yes, i read the ebook yang gaved me..the infamous 50 shades..

i dont know..i use to be a sucker for love story..but for some reason i dont find any appeal to this..yang seems to like it..i wonder why i dont..have i graduated to liking it?love stories i mean..if so, that's bad news..

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been having this settling feeling for days..maybe i should decide to go for the inevitable sooner or later..ive been weighing my options but i am yet to come to a resolution yet..once i did, i know there will be no turning back..FUCK it..i hate having to make choices and feel like you dont have a choice at all. whatever.

4 nearly 5 years was not bad...i want a new life for myself i think..but as to where to go, i do not know yet..oh,i hate this feeling. of wanting to decide and then find youself decide against it..why am i so complicated?

12:04 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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that ulcer + fever + not eating your breakfast + softdrinks are the worst combination ever..

fever for the nth time..this a a new world record..

..not feeling well, thus, the not so awesome mood..

i wanna go home..my real home..

11:58 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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haw..not feeling any better,,i wonder if my lack of appetite is due to being sick or due to taking GTE. ive been drinking it for a while. lack of appetite might have been good if only im not feeling this stomach ulcer surfacing again..pak..ulcer's the last thing i need right now..and now, eating definitely feels like a chore..

i thought of writing about last night..about this kapitbay who's related to ex almost boyfriend..pero saka na..not feeling well and cant talk about kerengkeng stuff..

maybe soon..

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maybe id skip work..

my body's needing my concern right now...

good luck to me..

12:04 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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and off we go..

..

 

03:38 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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this is la pieta.

wala lang. thought of writing something that sounds smart but cant think of anything at the moment. fr. mario talked about this the last time.he never fails to give me goose bumps in his talks.i guess he should blog. i wonder if priests blog..but i think he'd be good. he's awesome with words..

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had a chat with yang yesterday. i was trying(and still is) to convince her to join a game.. haha..this would be my dare for her. and apparently she cant do it.

girls.

when it comes to someone we cherish, even a seemingly easy thing could be just so difficult. whatever.

yang's dare for me was(is) to add this someone up on facebook. and until now i just cant do it. i know its ridiculous. hitting that add as friend button shouldnt have to require massive amounts of courage, right? but i just cant. whatever.

but i wish i can get her convinced..i think the guy she likes is a dangerous guy. dangerous in a natural kind of way which i think he himself doesnt even know..but i kinda like him as a person..i think he's nice.

she said i got to do my dare first..but were running out of time,..the game will be over soon..and i still cant do it. ang chicken..haist.

do something that scares you...

what if that something that scares you so much that you refused to do it could actually make an impact to your future..

what if its the only link that could get you there..to where you wish to be..

sabi na nga ba..

love is for the brave..

so,goodluck

12:09 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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dont get near him!!!rarrrr!

i was a college student too..and i know that stunts..back off woman...ggrarrrr!!!whatebs..

i was thinking of writing about someone else this morning til i saw that picture..pretty much reminds me of this other girl name lady...i wonder if they are still seeing each other..whatever..but well, i know that that kind of girl isnt his type..whatever,...(ang daming whatever--unli?)

he's looking tired. i wish he's fine..he was hospitalized before..he should be taking care of himself-really.

funny that he never aged..he looks like  one of them even..

i just thought..i know exactly how to make him better at times when he's like this..but then, what difference will it do?i just know how but cant do it anyway.

he once asked me if im just gonna hurt him which i found weird because, shouldnt it be the other way around? girls wondering whether the guy they're seeing will just end up hurting them or something..but it turned out that it wasnt a weird question at all..

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know what..sometimes i miss the him..but more than the him that i liked, i miss the him that was my friend..up to this date i kept thinking of what it would have been if we hadnt crossed any line..maybe we'd still be seeing each other..maybe we'll gonna watch hp together..maybe id still be forcing him to listen to my kwento..maybe he'd still make those nasty and sometimes harsh comments he usually make..maybe he'd still try to trip me over with his feet just like how my father use to do even if they never really met...what if..

i shouldve known that friendship are more durable than a relationship that might eventually fail..but still i have no regrets whatsoever..i beleive that things happen (or dont happen) because they are meant to..

its not that he never tried to reach out..and i too did..its just that we keep messing it up..are we still too young?? even when were no longer young at all.//

well, i just dont know anymore..

when his not present in my dreams, ill find him nagging in my waking mind,.,whats up with that?

 

 

12:09 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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prayer granted..i am spared..

so whats with the sad face.. whatever.

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12:09 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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yang and i were suppose to go to an exhibit but something came up and so it was moved today..that's the thing with us. its either dont have the time or dont have the money or both.

ayokong kabahan..hindi pa naman ako kinakabahan..or baka wala rin naman pala kong rason para kabahan..

i hope that my eyeglasses will serve as a good disguise today..i might not actually need it though..we'll see..

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my brother changed his profile pix into the pix of me and my mom and labeled it as "my girls"..i havent seen my bro for a while. he changed a lot..he use to get sick whenever he leaves home for long..maybe it has something to do with "the girlfriend".

errr..i use to be the 2nd woman in my brother's life.with mom as the first.now maybe im down to 3rd..i just wish that the girl will be nice to me in case they got married..i dont think im hard to get along. i dont gossip and im kinda gentle..but if she got an issue with indifferent people, then, there would be a problem..

i am thinking of leaving home..going somewhere..

but wouldnt it be nicer id be with someone else intead of my own...

pak..here i go again..

 

12:09 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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we were suppose to go to an exhibit..

but we ended up with a pitcher of margarita and shots topped with warm blue flames (they call it, excuse me for the word, blow job)..

and you know whats next..

and it wasnt even friday yet..

...

but its friday now!!!hooorrrray!!!

11:45 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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11.18..at the office alone..

i finished my work..

tired.

but made it..

all is well..

ciao..

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wait i forgot.. i got to send this..

11:25 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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will be going out with injan tonight to watch guni-guni..

..kung di sya mang-iinjan..watever..

i know id be jumpy after this, so why watch anyway?..

but the total seductress lovi poe is there, see, i might learn a thing or two (now, there goes the real motive)..

but well. lets see..

its a wednesday..movie or not, the panata day will have to pass..

11:51 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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guni-guni sucks. made me worried about the future of the philippines' cinematography. i wonder if the film makers nowadays know that film making is supposed to be an art..

but its nice to be with a friend even when the movies suck and all.

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took 2-days vl..no work for me til tuesday. got loads of boring stuff to do. i wish the house wont be so messy when i get home..

im trying to think of a path to lead my career to. it just suck when you dont know what you want in life even up to now when youre no longer young..i miss having dreams...but come to think of it..i never had one..

for now id like to use the time i have for improvements and learning stuff. maybe id have yang tutor me for web designing or something.

the jlpt exam is fast approaching, ive been skipping class because of this baby named misono that ive been working on. but the works almost done so no reason to procrastinate some more. i dont like to fail. i hate failing. so its either id study my lessons or resign before the exam comes..so which one should i choose?..that we will see..

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intuition.

its like feeling the bad things coming before they actually do. it basically let you feel the anxiety twice.

the priest from yesterday's mass said that fr. mario's in the hospital recieving a treatment. as of what treatment, i dont know. the priest was talking about things like why do bad things happen to good people and of him recieving news about his friends and collegues dying, having stroke, or being sick with cancer. i wonder if fr. mario's one of these friends and collegues he's talking about..oh, heavens, please, make him well..i wonder if i can go visit him to the hospital. maybe it wont do much but i really want to go.. ... oh heavens, heavens..please..

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my chest hurts..

today marks the 2nd week of being sleep deprived...

i.must.sleep.tonight.

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now thats a super random and totally unrelated stuff..

 its happy weekend for me.. )

 

12:11 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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