Entries for December, 2013
hey. sinisipag akong magsulat lately. how are you?
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had the exam yesterday. last year, when i went home after the exam, i had this look of death in my face as if the world had just fallen in on me. but yesterday, i went home all smiles. bro asked how the exam was and i told him "edi wala, wala akong nasagot", which he didnt believe. he said i always say the same thing and always ended up passing. but this time could be an exemption. even i find it weird na hindi ako in suicide mode ngayon. i know i did all i can. and maybe passing wouldnt be fair din naman. pero dahil sa believer ako ng miracle, gusto ko paring maniwala na may gagawin ang universe para pumasa parin ako ulet this time. pero pass or fail, life goes on. i guess, this time, i wanna be friends with failure. because, in failure, we learn----echos!! anoba!!Of course, gusto kong pumasa!!wahuhu. taeness.
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met up with my former colleagues yesterday.
just like the old times ulet. they are still the same crazy people that i left a few months less than a year ago.
nandun na naman yung "dahil sayo" joke na kamag-anak ng dating "tabi tayo" joke, "ako nalang" joke at yung iba pang rated PGish variant. kung nagkataon lang na hindi joke to, e di may lablayf na sana ko ngayon.. wahehehe..eeee!!haha. kainess..
pero, pramis, nakakamiss din talaga ang mga lokong to. i was really happy when i saw them all. yung happy kind of sad. sad kasi, i dont know when will i see them again. or, if i ever will. i knew that this will happen. i knew it since i decided to leave that this will be included in the package. parting of ways.. uncertainty on whether you'll meet them again or not. see, this may sound sad, but i think, this made me have that kind of thinking na, each and every person should be cherished now that they are still here. na its ok to show them that you care. na its ok to let them know. na its ok to say it..kasi you are not so sure if you'll ever have that chance again. and really, there is that sense of freedom in thinking that way and acting that thinking out.
yesterday, i saw jan and abe-kun at the exam venue. i dont know why every time i see someone i know lately, para bang bigla akong sumasaya..feast effect ba to? ang weird weird.. but at least its not bad. i think i really made a remarkable progress in terms of developing may social skills. but, i still have room for improvements of course.
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so, on the exam din, someone and i crossed paths again. kung iisipin, imposible din naman talagang hindi kami magkita on an event like this. but it wasnt bad. he actually came up to me and asked,
"kamusta na? galit ka pa ba saken?"
to which i replied,
"hindi. mejo awkward lang"
see, i can really be too honest sometimes lalo na pag cornered na. i hope it gave him some peace or whatever on his end. or that is, if nag ka effect man sa kanya. ewan ko din. you know what, kahet kasama ko yung dating kagalit ko, i never really felt out of place. awkward,oo, pero hindi out of place. siguro kasi, this people have been my 2nd family for almost five years, at sa tingin ko, hindi isang away-bata lang ang sisira non. sa totoo lang, even if he didnt walk up to me that day, hindi parin naman ako galit sa kanya. hindi naman talaga kasi ako nagalit sa kanya in the first place.
but still, it gave me peace.. sana sya rin. world peace..
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work matters.
qm's on vacation until weds. im on my own. hindi effective ang dasal ko na sana walang tumawag ngayon dahil ang daming tumawag ngayon.. akala ko nga hindi na ko lalabas ng buhay sa opis. huhu..hay.. 2 days pa bago matapos ang kalbaryong ito. pero siguro, heaven's way na rin to to push me into doing my best. sa tingin ko mas marami pa akong natutunan today than the rest of my live weeks combined. pero sana naman wala akong maencounter na pasaway na customer gaya nung last week. iniisip ko palang naiiyak na ko..wahuhu..
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im off to a Personal Financial Coaching And Financial Literacy Seminar on sat. too bad, yang and i wasnt able to attend in the same schedule. so, solo-solo kami..hindi tuloy ako masyadong excited. pero siguro, i should take this chance to meet people and improve my social skills ulet. hayy.. goodluck talaga saken.
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8:32pm, why, i so love stating the time..
see you soon!!
=)
{ 本} 100-10-20-70
{ 気分} happy and scared at the same time
08:39 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
ang harot harot neto..wahaha..laveeet..hehe
gusto ko na talagang dumalaw sa feast makati..
no need to bring any crush..since nandun na sya..haha..ang harots..hehe..echos lang.
oh, may isa pa pala kong crush..pero, gudluck nmn kung madala ko sya dun, diba..hehe..iniisip ko palang nahihilo na ko...wahaha..eee! enough.haha..taeness ang harots lang..
but this is a really really cute way to recruit. super goodluck to feast makati!
sighs..i really want to attend kahet isa lang sa mga feast nila dun(they have feast for like, everyday ata).. i wonder how different theirs is compared to what we have in picc.
kaso..ang hirap kayang sumakay sa makati..hayy.. baket ba kasi ko nakatira sa bundok =(
08:58 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
years ago, when we went to the province, a cousin of mine who was said to have seer-like powers chuchu told me na ang initial daw ng mapapang asawa ko ay PM..
odd enough, ive known many P's and many M's but there never was a PM...as in wala talaga. ever.
...
oh, except one,..
Peeta Mellark!!
hmmm..sabi n nga ba sya ang future ko..wahehe.. ang adik..
today, finally, i was able to watch CF!!yay!! made me want to reread the book. but i realized i already had so much to read now. ang weird weird, i feel like i had so much time and yet no time at all..
will be attending some seminar tom. it would have been more fun if only id get to be with yang. but our sched didnt match.. the list of the topic looks interesting though..
still, gogogo to me..
--
PM nga kaya ang initials ng mapapang asawa ko? i wonder..
pero dahil hindi nmn PM ang initial ng crush ko ngayon, ok lang din kung hindi..hehe..ambisyosa lang..
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urgh,,the internet sucks..lets see if id get to post this one..taeness..
11:30 on the dot
i better sleep. goodnight
{ 気分} yawning
11:36 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
i cant believe i'll be saying goodbye to the weekend just like that
07:40 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
its monday.
a couple of weeks more before the big day comes.
mom's gown came. i dont like it. sighs.. i know bro wants mom to be the prettiest mom there. face-wise, im sure she'd be..but the gown..hayyys.. im her only daughter, i should be the one in charge for this type of kikay emergencies. pero kasi naman..wahhh!!!
spent most of my month's budget to the stock market. the market's down, i just need to take advantage.. payday's more than a week away. sooo, what am i to do?wahhh!!
sighs..gusto ko nang magbenta ng excess body parts.
--
last sat, i met up with injan after the seminar coz she happens to be around the area too. we talked and she reported that she's single again and break na sila ni boylets.
3rd party. really, this is not the 1st time ive seen my friends like this. i just hope i wont get traumatized by their stories or i might just end up sabotaging my own lovelife dahil lang im afraid to experience the same thing.
injan also talked about wanting to settle. i think that's the only part in our conversation that i can relate to. finding out that someone else feels the same way too makes it seem normal.
settling. i guess we're just tired of liking multiple guys at a time. of playing around. that's why we now have that longing to like just one person and settle to that person. to rest our hearts, i guess, i do not know too.
naisip ko lang..
it could be true that love is for the brave. but i guess, being single doesnt always equate to lack of courage. i guess its more like, some are single because they are brave enough to put up with being on their own rather than settling to the wrong one.
i think, i can count myself as one here..
pero syempre..hindi parin naman ako brave..
--
ok, this will suffice for now.
8:37 goodnight
{ 気分} sleepy
08:45 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
"the splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of its scent nor the daisy of its simple charm.."
repeat until it sink in..
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im feelin' so so so down today =(
{ 気分} cold absolute zero
08:11 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
in the end of the day, its gonna be people who will make you happy, not things.
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excruciating salon trip with mom today. seems like the parloristas have exchanged my supposedly hair color to mom's because mine now looks blonde and mom's look like that dark coppery blonde color that ive always preferred to have. it doesnt look really bad, its just that..it looks so 2009... ok, first world problem. im sorry..arg.
bro's wedding in less than a week. he already packed his stuff. said he wont be going home until next year. it really feels like a huge thing, you know--marriage. its like a package full of huge and overwhelming changes. i guess, my brother is more than ready for it though..
been feelin' rather low lately. must be season. i guess im having pre-christmas blues. dont really have that much plan for christmas. i actually have work on that day. worse, the other people from the office are not gonna be there, so, im gonna be all by myself. its actually fine with me, really. i know i can manage..i think im just sad that they're not gonna be there..
i think i need to go to the feast. i know it can wash off whatever it is that's been clouding my head lately.. im feeling really really sad again.. in some way i know the reason. i just dont feel like talking about it. sometimes, what really hurts you the most, you find hard to talk about.
i wouldve go to the feast tomorrow but someone asked to to be his child's ninang and so ill be attending the christening instead..
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half way through december and things are still like this...
sighs..
i think i need vitamins..
12:29 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
just got home from the christening of my new inaanak. her name is princess marielle and she's a very pretty baby girl. i think she looks like ninang too!!(echos lang..hehe). mom said baby princess doesnt usually allow other people to carry her, but today, she allowed me to carry her and she was even smiling. she's really so adorable and i think she likes me.. =).. if i am to have my own child in the future, i would really want to have a girl.. i hope she'd be as pretty as baby princess.. i bet she would..
today, i get to be with some of our relatives who are actually mom's barkada. yung mga taong kasama nila ng dad ko sa kanilang pang so-social life. i was surprised to find out that they are a bunch of really cool people.
one of them, tito leo, is said to have healing powers. sort of an albolaryo, i think. my idea of an albolaryo is that they should use leaves, have a turban on their head, or maybe use "laway" during their healing session. but tito leo is none of that sort. he actually looks pretty normal.
before we went home, mom told me to have tito leo check my pulse. it seems like through pulse checking, tito leo can find out if we have an illness or anything (this sounds legit to me because i saw jang geum do that pulse checking a lot of times in jewel in the palace). when he got my pulse, he said, "may umaaligid sayo" which can be translated as "some guy is eyeing you" or something.
the first question i asked after hearing that was "tao po ba?".. see, i really dont know if i truly believe in multo, tikbalang, kapre, engkanto, etc. all i know is that even just the idea of them is enough to scare the shit out of me. thankfully, tito leo said, tao naman daw, and he said hindi naman daw ako kayang lapitan ng mga hindi tao. i dont know what he meant by that, but still, im sort of relieved.
mom then asked, " baka naman may asawa yan" and other stuff..tito leo doesnt seem to have an answer to that.. sabi nya lang.."basta meron..pero ewan ko lang ha.." .. i think he just saw the stalker..so, no thanks..
tito leo warned me to use the "habak" that he made for us. "habak" is a paper that contained some written prayers wrapped in a navy blue clothe that is suppose to be worn all the time. it is said to keep you from "kulam", kulam-related "lason", even the natural food poisoning, snatchers etc. i know, it sound like some kwentong kanto or kwentong barbero thing. but because, i think tito leo as such an amazing person, i actually believe in all of these.. well, no harm in believing, i guess. after all, i just have to wear that "habak"..
--
kuya's wedding in 6 days! the fact that these same cool people will come makes me all the more excited.
oooh, which reminds me, ive been out of diet for the last three days..i hope id still fit to my gown..
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back to work tom. i woke up this morning na super paos.. it improved during the day, but my throat still hurts.. i don t know how on earth will i do the support if my voice would sound like this tomorrow when my accent is already bad enough to begin with.. sighs.. bahala na bukas.
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8:18pm. ano kayang gamot sa paos?
goodnight
08:27 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
yesterday, i sure woke up paos, but that was not the reason why i wasnt able to go to work.
was sent to the hospital at around 1am yesterday due to severe abdominal pain. when i got there i was given a shot and after around 30mins, the pain was gone... 600+pesos was killed in just one sitting. kung kelan naman ang dami daming gastos..sighs.. i went to see another doctor because i was adviced to take some more lab test. but doctor 2 said it wont be necessary. she instead prescribed me some more meds.
i hate meds,
i hate shots,
i hate being sick.
i dont know if these medicines are doing me any good. i did feel better after the shot but my stomach still feels like an acid container..
feeling ko may nagba bar-b-q sa loob ng sikmura ko..
huhu..ayoko ng neto.. T_T
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07:17 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
for some reason, nalulungkot ako na hindi ako papasok sa opis bukas.. parang may nakaka miss na ewan.
ewan.
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long days are ahead. we will be going to cavite tom coz we got to be there a day before the wedding. this is the only thing that im not looking forward to. i dont like sleeping in somebody else's house..
sighs..
nalulungkot ako..
hindi ko alam kung baket..
ang labo men..
{ 気分} just sad
07:37 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
so bro got married today, which earned me a sister and additional 3 brothers, one of which is a 3 year old boy who can even pass as my son.
toxic day indeed. nakakahaggard, yes, but it was fun. i think i really love having relatives on both sides around. i actually live with my relatives on my father's side living like next door to us, but putting them all together like this requires a certain occasion. nakakatuwa lang. dapat sa kasal ko, ganito rin.. (switch day dreaming mode on).
my most recent inaanak was there. i noticed her right away, because the moment she saw me, she smiled. now im wondering if baby princess is smiling because she likes me or because she finds me funny(clown?). but whatever, i really love her smile.
thanks to being sick, i wasnt able to go on atkins since last sun. the gown was a little masikip, but the fit is actually nice. the color seems to brighten my skin and complement my hair.
sighs..marriage.. my bro and my sis-in-law actually look and act like parents now even before they even have kids. i guess marriage really comes to those who are ready for it.. i think same goes for riches, fame, success, and even lovelife itself. i wonder when will i be ready. or will i ever be ready at all.
the priest said, marriage is for the imperfect. because if you are perfect, then, there wouldnt be a need to get married. my tita who sat on the pew behind me said,
-ibig sabihin pala perfect tayo..
i just reply..
-tita..mag-aasawa pa po ko..
to which tita said..
-ayaw mo maging perfect?
...
epic conversation. i dont know why tita seems certain that im gonna be like her. well, not that its bad..its just that.. i dont know. i just feel like they are sentencing me into becoming one.
during the reception, i saw tita being grilled by the other sponsors,asking really awkward questions--all because she's single. tita is a strong and smart woman,i know she'd manage, but i still feel sorry for her. i dont know why people act as if being single is some form of a handicap.
---
it was a tiring day indeed.
but its gonna be the last feast of the year tomorrow, so i gotta go. shucks,,G na G paman din ako.. oh, heavens..pengi po ng pamasahe!wahhh!! pulube. arg.
i got to sleep na..
9:15pm. goodnight.
09:25 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
merry CHRISTMAS everyone!!!
im all kuracha mode for these past few days,
i just peek in here to greet.
blessed CHRISTMAS everyone!!!
--
wag po naten kalimutan ang birthday celebrant, ok!!
jaaa!!!
08:01 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
its been a while.
hey.
i guess, everyone's busy due to the festive season..
so, how are you?
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ill be out of work the whole week next week. i guess, after being a bum for like 2 months a few months ago, this long vacation is not really something im looking forward to. for one, there will be no feast this sunday and the next feast will be next next sunday pa. so right now, i really dont know what im gonna do with this too much time. i hope i can find a way to spend my time in a way that will earn me money.
anyway, ill be meeting bff later. actually im kind of running late now, and yet here i am, painting my nails(while typing this). taeness. our supposed to be palawan trip was reduced to a full-body massage session. said she run out of budget..kaya, eto. i think, bff will be buying her own house that's why she's cutting down her expenses. im yet to know. maybe laters.
--
goodbye 2013 na.. even know when its still here pa, 2013 already feels like ages ago to me na. i remember craving for change back then when i welcomed 2013..now, my 2014 appears to carry tons of change with it for me to even crave at all. it actually scares me. pero, sabi nila, kung gusto mo daw maging successful, you should be comfortable with being uncomfortable. change causes me to be uncomfortable. the current setup of my life is actually sound as it is, but 2014 is presenting me so much change that i feel like it will be rocking the soundness of my life..
im terrified. yes. but bring it on, life.
bro and sis-in-law will go back to the house on the 30th and they'd gonna live with us n. i dont know what will happen after this, i just hope that things will be alright. change..
sa work naman, this new applicant (who was a former dj to some local radio station) might be starting to work with me na by the time ill get back to work next year. well,of course, that is, if he'll accept the offer. personally, id prefer having a girl for a partner. we already have enough boys in the office. i guess it would be more fun if id have someone to talk girl stuff with instead. change...
on january would be my 6th month at work(if i counted it right). im giving myself another 6 months after that, to plan, think, and act my plan out and have results. 6 months doesnt sound enough, but that is what i want my ultimatum to be. im not getting any younger anyway. change..
i left my 1st job to kick myself out of complacency. i am far from being complacent now. danger is what lurks every moment and uncertainty is as always present as the air itself. change...
i should be having results now.
next year, i want a better life. im gonna get a better life.
heavens..please be with me on this..
i really scared. of not making it. of failing. of seeing my life.. my youth.. my dreams.. slip before me.. pass me by..
im really really scared.
sighs..
still, im gonna give it my all for this.. watch me..
--
bring it on, world!!sighs.. kaya ko to!!
{ 気分} cheering myself on, but actually trembling inside
11:34 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
new year's eve tom.
nothing much for the past few days. met up with bff last sat. she was on red alert so we were not able to go to a full body session, so nag videoke nalang kami and the watched movies.
there are few movies id like to watch in mmff but we ended up with pagpag and 10,000 hours. its just weird, for the whole time, i was convinced that dingdong dantes was in 10,000 hours and i really thought that the movie have a sort of genesis-like plot.. i may have looked stupid back then when yang and i was watching na mmff parade(#jologsmoment), and i was like, " oh, next na yung 10,000 hours, movie yun ni dingdong at robin e"...like what??sighs..nakakahiya. super confident pa ko nung sinasabi ko yun..kaya pala wala si dingdong dun sa parade.weird..where did i get that info? taenes. cud it be that my dreams played a trick on me again. arg.
but, anyway, these movies are not bad..hindi superb, pero pwede na. natatawa ko pag nakikita ko sa daniel padilla. i just remember telling yang while we were waiting for the mmff floats na "hindi naman ako na gwagwapuhan kay daniel".. sabay pag daan ng float.."wahhh!!ang gwapo!!"..haha.. pero syempre i just did that to annoy the giddy girls around us..hehe..but daniel is..well, sort of cute.. if i had been younger, i may have shrieked upon seeing him too and actually mean it. sighs,,sometimes, i miss my younger days.. back then when i still have the license to shriek over cute boys. haha.. i've long stopped shrieking for boys, but i still do shriek for men though..hehe..
gusto ko rin mapanuod yung my little bossings and yung kay vice (girl, boy, bakla, tomboy??not sure of the title).. i know some are annoyed that they cant watch non-local movies during this season, but i still believe that we still got talented film-makers in the country. a few years back, i watch metanoia rpg from the past mmff, and it was really really good.
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bff paid me a visit kanina. she gave me a plant from malaysia as pasalubong. actually, seed plang sya now. its a seed to be planted in candy-looking pellets instead of soil. its suppose to grow into sprouts by tomorrow. im really excited to see how it will look like.
---
im sort of having blues lately. i miss the feast.
i miss brother bo, the mass, the talks, the people. its the happiest place on earth indeed.
oh, if you want to experience feast too, see the details below (endorser?!)
---
10:55.. this gotta be all for now..goodnight.
10:34 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
in less than 2 hours, 2014 na..
2013 had been a year of change for me. some i initiated myself, some happened without any input on my end. some days are low some day are high, but hey, its almost over..well,at least, the year, that is.
i dont know what 2014 has in store for me. i wish to say that im excited about it, but actually, im more like nervous, worried, whatever. yeah, i know i should be all-good vibes, but whatever. im feelin emo e. tse!
sighs..
2014. as the tradition goes, here's my 2014 wish/goals/whatever.. im doing this live.
1. expand my world
-expand my network of friends. meet people. be more sociable.
2. have a better self
-improve my looks, my character, my life. learn new things. explore my other potentials. look better to feel better. lose weight, be sexy and gorgeous and stunning (without vicky belo's help--lololols), smile more. attract potential lovelife (ano daw?), hone my flirting skills (ok, where is this getting?), tame my hair...basta. naalala ko lang sa isang episode ng meteor garden, sabi ang babae daw dapat laging maganda kasi hindi nya alam kung kelan nya makikilala ang prince charming nya (ah, ok--ew!!--jeez, what am i talking about? arg)
3. nurture my inner self
-attend feast at least 2x a month. commit to giving tithes. panata day wednesday without fail as much as posible, try not to do bad things.
4. increase my net worth
-have an extra job. invest 20% of my income in stock market without fail. work hard in making R A V E work (by hook or by crook).. develop my skills in selling, negotiating, marketing, etc. live beyond my means. save, lessen expenses, invest.
5. nurture my relationships
- take care of my parents. make time for my family. see my friends more often. reconnect with important people in my life. find time. love people. let them know. say it. act it out. be honest with my feelings (while staying subtle because i am still a girl). love more people or find more people to love.
6. live a healthier life
-avoid eating bawal food. mag diet to lose weight without killing myself in the process. listen to the doctor's advice as best as i could. sleep 7 to 8 hrs a day. absolutely no softdrinks. lessen sweet food intake. lessen junk food intake. exercise. guard my rest.
7. reach for my dreams
-visit foreign country (in malaysia, maybe, because bff works there), learn violin and be one of the violinist performing at the feast, be one of the feast's servers, visit makati feast kahet once lang, have a really cool part time job (like radio jock, events organizer or super model→what?!), fall in love. mag ka boyfriend..(ok, this is embarrassing.. pero sabi nila powerful daw ang words, so i dont have a choice, ive got to write this--nag eexplain talaga..hehe)
ayun. so as not to embarrass myself further, ayan nalang muna.. 11:00 na..1 hour before 2013 ends..
ang daming nangyari. 2013 had been a swift year. i dont know how 2014 would be like, but im still hoping for the best.
thank you and goodbye 2013..
hello and welcome 2014..
HAPPY NEW YEAR TABBY PIPS!!
all the best !! goodluck!!
11:06 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
all the best for 2014!!
Happy new year everyone!!
11:09 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
