Entries for October, 2023
Monday palang, pang isang buong week na yung level ng umay ko sa buhay. As always, I wanna get out of here.
This Saturday na ang Hong Kong namin. Friday palang, absent na ko. Sa totoo lang, the thought of not having to go to work excites me more than going to HK itself.
Siguro unfair na sabihing ang toxic ng mga workmates ko ngayon. I know they're just doing their job, and they're not like that 100% of the time. But trying to be understanding doesn't erase this feeling of wanting to get out of here quick. Umay na nga ko sa work. Umay pa ko sa workmates ko. Umay fiesta ba ito?
Haaaaah! Hanggang kelan ba ko magrereklamo until I actually do something about it? I want to end this corporate slavery for real.
04:06 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Ang sama ng panahon.
Sabado ng madaling araw ang flight namin. Makacancel kaya?
Iniisip ko nalang, ang mahalaga ay safe kami.
Bahala na.
02:27 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Pasado alas dose ng gabi.
I'm worried about my cat because she's sick. Worse is that she got sick because of me. I raised 2 of my cats since they were a few days old. They're practically my children. Parang hindi ko kaya if something bad were to happen to them. Oh God...
Kababalik ko lang from my HK trip. Walang buwelo buwelo, full blast agad ang dami ng trabaho. Ni hindi ko nagamit yung breaks ko kanina, at napaOT pa ko ng 15 minutes.
Kahapon, bumisita ang mga clients. Naatasan akong magbigay ng flower sa isa sa mga Japanese guests. Sabi ko, mas ok na sakin na hindi ko magamit sa JP skills ko so long as same parin ng sweldo. Pero in a way, may onting frustration sa side ko.
Nung nasa HK kami, I feel like wanting so learn Chinese so bad. Pero naisip ko, siguro, dapat mag focus muna ako sa Japanese.
Para sa akin, expectations are more of a gift, than a reason to feel pressured. Nakakalungkot din pag walang ineexpect ang mga tao sayo. Pero pag iniisip ko na this work is hard enough as is, tas mag ninihongo pa ko, parang okay na rin na wala silang inaasahan sakin.
Sa ngayon, gusto kong mag focus sa SAP. Pag na gets ko to, to an acceptable level, ie-aim ko naman ang N2.
Rest day ko tomorrow. Technically today. Ang daming gagawin. Sana maging okay na ang pusa ko.
Bad trip din ako kasi nandito parin yung allergies ko. They only stop popping up twing on meds ako. Pero hindi naman kasi healthy na laging on meds. Dad said I should start eating pork. Ew. 4 years being a pescetarian and I feel like eating pork is not much different from eating kittens or puppies, or even my own cats! Hindi kaya. Seriously. Siguro kakain lang ako ulet ng pork pag nasa dystopia na tayo. Sana naman hindi mangyari yun sa buong life time ko.
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Ang sweet ng boss ko. Nanlibre sya ng BK. Nabanggit ng supervisor ko na hindi ako kumakain ng meat, so he bought me plant-based na burger. Alam kong maliit na bagay, pero na touch parin ako.
Ugh! Pagod ako sa work, but it's not really so bad. Siguro kung inayos ko ang training ko sa P2P at di ako palaging late, hindi siguro ako nangangamote ngayon. I'll spend some of my time to study p2p tomorrow. Ayoko na mangamote sa work. It's super stressful.
May training daw ako ng o2c. I'll do better this time. Sana magkaron din ako ng chance to learn SAP HR from Said. They'll be leaving by December. Sana talaga may chance pa.
Pag magaling na ko sa work, siguro, hindi na ko maiistress. Sana.
01:12 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Every single time na nagresign ako, laging meron nung super pleasant feeling of knowing na hindi ko na kailangang pumasok ulet sa trabaho. Yung tipong paglabas mo sa office, it's like feeling the wind breeze on your face for the first time.
I love that feeling.
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Na ping daw ako for always being late sa trabaho. Back in Takeda, even if I was late every day, they left me alone, and quietly deduct money from my salary. I wonder why can't this account do the same.
Nakakatamad. Gusto ko na maging malaya
My only saving grace in this life is BL Bukod don, stress at pagod lang ang nafi feel ko sa buhay.
Of course, I'm grateful for this job. I love having more than enough money, allowing me to love myself and my loved ones better.
Pero pwede kaya yung parehas na mayaman ka at malaya?
Gusto ko nang maging malaya.
Yung malaya at mayaman.
Sighs.
07:43 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
We'll be going to Cebu in 4 days. All 7 of us including my brother and his family of 4. This is the first time for my neice and nephew to board an airplane. Ngayon lang rin kami makakapunta ng sama sama sa airport. I, too, am looking forward to this trip.
But I still haven't packed our stuff. Tamad na tamad akong mag empake. I've been to Cebu before. Plus, our itinerary is designed for kids. Though I'd like to be with the kids, I'm not really looking forward sa place itself, and sa mga pupuntahan namin. Sa totoo lang, I wish we can go somewhere abroad. My brother still can't afford it. Siguro afford kong dalhil kaming lahat sa mga cheaper countries, like maybe, Vietnam, or even Hong Kong. But I can't do that without incurring big damage to my bank account.
I'm planning to bring my parents to Japan next year. I need show money to get their visa. I should've applied for their visa together with mine back when I still have money to show. Japan's really expensive. I feel like it should be cheaper than Singapore, pero hindi ko alam why my credit card bills were telling me otherwise, when I got from my trip last May.
Speaking of, I miss Japan. It takes so much restraint not to book a flight since hindi pa nakakarecover ang bank account ko from our previous travels. Gusto ko nang yumaman.
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I'm feeling a little better regarding work. Nakakapagod parin. Gusto ko pa rin yumaman. Gusto ko parin tumakas. I feel like I've been spending my life thinking of wanting to escape my situation. Just thinking. Never actually doing anything about it.
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Sabi sa BL na binabasa ko kanina, nung dinescribe yung unrequited love, parang nauuhaw ka, at nasa harap mo yung baso ng tubig, pero pinipigilan mo yung sarili mong inumin yung tubig. Eventually daw, magugulat ka nalang, natuyo na yung laman ng baso.
Parang love life ko. All dried up. Lol. It's been a really long time since I last liked someone. I did revive my dating profile, pero yung isang kausap ko, mag iisang linggo ko nang di narereplyan.
I feel like BL had messed up my feelings towards men. Parang mas kikiligin pa ko kung sila sila yung naghaharutan.
Urg. Ewan. Do I need a therapy?
06:28 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
