Entries for January, 2024
Last night, I talked to Mom and Dad about my plan to resign. Earlier sa office, sinabi ko na rin kay Kayla. I'll be sending my resignation letter on Monday, para hanggang February 15 nalang ako sa office.
Haaaayst. Ewan ko.
Nag post yung dati kong workmate na may urgent hiring daw sa kanila for J-speakers. I was already typing my message for him, nang maisip ko, "teka, gusto ko muna magpahinga".
Sobrang dami ng ticket namin kahapon. 30+, at naninigas na yung kamay ko from too much typing. Even my arms, nangangalay na rin.
They pulled 6 people from Espoire project to focus on JT tickets. Tatlo nalang kaming natira sa BAU. Hindi ko maintindihan bakit hirap na hirap silang magdagdag ng tao. Pag Friday, 2 lang kami. Pag may nagkasakit or nag leave, kawawa yung natitira.
Tapos, ginawa pa nila akong crisis writer. I'm on my first ticket ever. Si Grace yung crisis manager. I hate working with Grace. It's obvious that she doesn't like me, which is fine, pero kasi, yung dislike nya sa tao, nagrereflect sa trabaho. And since I'm not the type na uupo lang pag inaapi, ibang way ang ginagawa nya to bully me.
All good sana kung hindi ako crisis writer and won't have to work with Grace.
But then, this is not only about Grace. I'm tired. I feel like I'm gonna get sick for real if this goes on. Hanggang ngayon, masakit parin ang arms at kamay ko.
Kanina while eating lunch at the office, mejo naiyak ako ng maisip ko na I won't be able to provide more for my family. Hindi ko na sila mati treat sa masasarap na restaurant, or mapapasyal sa ibang bansa.
I feel so sorry for my Mom and Dad. I want to give them the best life. Habang nabubuhay pa sila at kasama ko pa sila. Pano ko gagawin yun if I no longer have this high-paying job?
Tokwa. Naiiyak na naman ako.
Pero ayoko na talaga mag stay dito. I know things here will not get better soon. Lahat ng tao dito overworked, except yung mga nasa Espoir. I'm technically a backup for Espoir, pero tokwa, ano ako, robot?
Ayoko na.
Basta. Kaya ko to. Gagawa ako ng paraan to earn more money kahit wala akong trabaho. Kaya ko to.
I'm gonna find a way to give an even better life—the best life, for my family and for myself. Kaya ko to.
Haaaaaa.
Kaya ko to.
07:51 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
I hate that bitch. I want to pull her hair off and smack her face on concrete wall until she loses all her front teeth.
Not good. Hindi dapat ganito. If my goals can be achieved with a quiet mind, then I got to get all this hatred off my system.
Hayyst. Konting tiis nalang.
I sent my resignation letter last Sunday. Effectivity was supposed to be February 15. Nakiusap boss ko na until end of Feb nalang, but in exchange, he'll let me go on wfh the entire February. Pumayag na ko. Pero sa totoo lang, gusto ko na mag immediate resignation.
Hayyst.
Takot ako. Sobra. Pero kasi, ayoko na talaga.
Sana gabayan ako ng langit.
10:40 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
I have over a month pa, pero ang diwa ko e naka resigned mode na.
Mapayapa ang isip ko today, dahil hindi sumasagi sa isip ko na may pasok nga pala ako bukas.
Haaaaaa. Konting tiis nalang. Matatapos din to.
Next week, I will meet the SAP girls, my workmates, for lunch on a Saturday. Sa totoo lang, gusto ko magtipid bilang magreresign na ko, pero sige na nga. Minsan lang to.
I feel at peace at the thought of resigning from this company. I emptied my locker sa 14th floor from my previous account, since I'm currently using Seki's- a workmate who resigned over a month ago. Before February 1, I have to empty this locker too, and all my stuff sa office. Because yung pagbalik ko dito sa office e to return the assets na.
Normal ba na ma excite ka at the thought na wala ka nang trabaho? Ewan ko.
Habang nakatambay ako sa bahay para magpahinga at mag-isip, I want to use this mantra:
I am smart and talented.
Whatever I do, I will prosper.
Wherever I go, I will flourish.
I'm earning massive amount of money.
Then, if maayos na ang lahat on that department, siguro ito naman.
I want to find a man I can love to my heart's content.
A man who will return the same love to me twice as much.
I'm grateful that I feel this hope in me. A hope for an even better future. Sana nga, maging so much better pa ang lahat pag nakaalis ko sa company na to.
07:18 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
