Entries for December, 2023
I made a little scene at the office last Friday after the boss asked to talked to me. I'm too tired to explain about it right now.
I've been sick for over a week. I haven't been finishing my meals properly due to lack of appetite, but I'm seriously craving for homemade cookies. It's been a super long time since sis-in-law made some. I wish she'll make them again soon.
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I want to resign. I don't know how long will I be able to hold on to this job. It's really painful to stay, but I need money.
Ano bang gagawin ko?
11:31 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Realizing that in almost every work place I've been in eh napaaway ako at least once, napaisip tuloy ako na, 'could it be that I'm the problem?'
Well, whatever.
Dad's been seriously wanting to win Lotto. He's been going to mass every week to pray for it, tas balak nya pa kumpletuhin yung simbang gabi.
Sana nga. Magreresign ako agad pag milyonaryo na kami.
I feel like I'm really not suited for corporate life, lalo na't may pagka tigre talaga ko. But Whenever I try to endure the feeling of being wronged, and try to hide tigre-ness, it feels so painful. I hate that feeling.
That's why I feel so much better off alone.
Haaaa. Ayoko na. I want to be so rich that I will never have to work anymore. Once I'm free, I'd study something. Maybe I'd go to law school. Or maybe study Mandarin, polish my Japanese skills, or maybe learn graphic arts. The possibilities are endless.
This tiger wants to be free. I don't wanna be caged in this place called "work" anymore.
10:40 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Hindi pa ko nakaka recover sa deductions from my 4 days sick leave without pay (I've used up my SLs), ito, may sakit na naman ako. The last time I was sick, I felt harrassed from the demands from the office, at napaaway pa ko.
I'm bracing myself for another away. I sent a message to my boss, with sorrys and pasensya na pos. Then it hit me. I really hate this—having to say sorry for being sick. Kasalanan ko ba na may sakit ako?
God, I want to resign.
Siguro it's not that bad. I appreciate how Kayla tries her best to help me. Even Shain is not really that bad on most days.
My parents are old. It's Dad's 11th year since stroke. Turning 12th by October next year. They said stroke survivors usually last only 10 years after stroke... I mean, heck, I need money. I need this job. I feed 5 cats, plus 2 more outside. People and animals are relying on me.
I love my family and my cats. Ano ba naman yung konting hirap sa trabaho. Maraming trabaho, pero hindi pa naman ako napapa ot ng husto, and I know... I know... people at work are trying to be supportive.
Siguro it wasn't being sick that I have to say sorry for. It's having to leave them on their own knowing na konti lang yung tao.
Still, I don't like this feeling.
Ugh.
For now, I need to focus on getting better.
06:43 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
On shift ako today. Work from home. Sobrang chill, that's why I'm super grateful.
Alam mo ba, it feels like ages ago, kahit months lang naman ang nakalipas nung inannounce ng previous account namin na they are letting go of the JP team.
Ako ang unang pumasa sa next account na interesadong kuhanin kami. I remember how I tried to comfort Wendy when she was worried and sad dahil hindi sya makabasa ng Kanji during the assessment. I told her na malay mo, pag natapos ang lahat ng to, mas maganda pa pala ang napuntahan nyo kesa sakin.
Hah! It came true.
Alam mo, I've long known the power of words. It's nice to use it to give encouragement to people. Pero tokwa. I should've known better than to use it against myself.
Hahhhhh.
Yung account na napuntahan ni Wendy, forever work from home, at madali lang daw ang work. Tas today at sa new year, wala silang pasok.
Sa totoo lang, wala namang bitter feeling. Hindi naman puro bad stuff ang naranasan ko sa account na ito. I'm glad to have met Kayla, Johanna, Diday, John and Alex. Sam is also treating me well. Hindi naman talaga masama.
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I couldn't sleep kagabi. Like, past 3 na, gising pa ko.
Siguro may dahilan ang langit why I ended up here. Whether I stay here or leave, sana maging maayos ang lahat.
Malay mo, ako naman yung maging maswerte this time.
Baka ito pala yung mag led sakin sa one true love ko. Char!
....
Sa ngayon, gusto ko lang ng malaya, masagana, at maligayang buhay.
I wish the same for you, Tabby peeps.
Merry Christmas sating lahat.
01:13 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Today, I slept in, ate, took a bath, paid the bills, updated my financial spreadsheet, cuddle my cats, read BL.
2023 was a pretty unremarkable year. I think that, in itself, is a blessing.
I am grateful that my family is still complete.
I know others are not as lucky.
I have work, though I've been itching to resign.
I have met new people, visited places I've never been, learned new things, and so on.
There were sad days, but I think, I was overall happy.
I pray that 2024 will be just as kind.
I pray for peace and prosperity for myself, my family, and my country.
I pray for great new people to meet.
I hope that 2024 will be a year of smiles, laughter, and building good relationships and memories.
I hope I'll get to build more wealth this year.
That my family and I will live with abundance on all good things.
I pray for health. I pray for love. I pray for happiness, and massive wealth for me and my family.
I pray for more travels, more reunions with friends.
I'm glad that I feel so hopeful.
Sana maging masaya at masagana rin ang 2024 ninyong lahat.
Happy New Year, Tabby peeps! ❤️
06:06 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
