Entries for February, 2022
Nasira yung phone ng kasama ko sa trabaho. Naexcite pa ko sa kung anong bibilhin nyang bagong phone, pero wala pala syang balak bumili ng mamahalin.
My phone is Samsung A21. I bought this last year at 14k. Now it's so much cheaper. The last time, tita and I found a Samsung phone na nafo fold sa mall. Ang ganda nya at ang linaw linaw ng picture. Sinubukan kong utuin ang tita ko para bumili sya, pero ayaw nya ring gumatos.
Ayokong bumili ng phone where I can buy a smart tv for half the price. Pero bet na bet ko talaga yung nafo fold na phone. I was secretly hoping that my officemate will buy one, so she can tell me how it feels like to have one. Lol.
Kanina sabi ng mama ko, bakit daw ganun, mas malaki pa sahod ko sa mga kapitbahay namin, pero lahat sila may kotse.
Ewan ko din. Magastos ba ko?
Oo, magastos ako. Before we got sick, I bring my parents to eat out every week.
Pero ok lang. My parents' happiness and welfare are my priorities. Hindi rin naman ako marunong mag drive.
Kanina, our SME asked me if pwede nya ko i-recommend para maging bagong SME. Tumanggi ako.
Napaisip tuloy ako na kung sme ako, bahagyang tataas ang sahod ko, at wala naman akong masyadong need gawin.
Yun nga lang, I have to deal with my officemates' complaints and concerns. Si Robert talaga yung naisip ko. Feeling ko mapapaaway ako kung magiging SME ako.
Mali kaya yung desisyon ko?
Well, surely, I do not dream to climb up the corporate ladder, dahil afterall, hindi ko pinangarap maging empleyado habang buhay...
Pero diba, sayang yung konting madadagdag sa sahod ko? Though malamang na kakainin lang yun ng tax, pero at least, hindi na ko magko call at backlogs.
Ewan ko.
I'm a firm believer na life isn't supposed to be so hard. The worms do not struggle to be worms. The birds do not struggle to be birds. They just be. I think humans are supposed to be the same.
Pero siguro, mali rin ako. I can be lazy and indulgent most of the time, but sometimes I feel like effortlessness works better for me than hard work does.
Parang nung college pa ko. Sunod sunod na exams ko sa mechanics na bagsak ang nakuha ko kahit nag effort akong mag aral. When I stopped studying before the exams, nag ha highest score pa ko.
I am more relaxed when I exert less effort. And I yeild better results when I am relaxed. With this method I managed to graduate in college when in our class, only 5 of us managed to graduate after 5 years without exceeding a semester. That was roughly 10% of the entire class. Some even took more than 7 years to graduate.
Ok lang.
Wala akong folding samsung phone. Wala kaming kotse. Hindi ko pa napapalitan yung kakarag karag na tv sa sala at hindi pa ko nakakabili ng automatic na washing machine para di mahirapan si mama sa paglalaba.
I never really felt poor kahit may mga bagay na hindi ko pa mabili. Well, hindi pa. For one, hindi naman talaga ako poor. Sadyang iba iba lang siguro ang priorities ng mga tao.
Still, gusto ko parin humanap ng paraan para effortlessly na yumaman.
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It's past 12 midnight and I'm craving for Wendy's shrimp burger, French Baker's apple turnover, Paper moon's mango milliepie, Figaro's cappuccino, at yung pain au chocolat sa may Shangri la.
For whole month na hindi ako nag asukal, hindi naman ako nagkaron ng ganitong cravings, until kumain ako ng tikoy nung Chinese New Year.
Mag cheat day kaya ako bukas. Sa Friday ang opening ng Jco sa SM malapit samin. Sa Fairview pa may pinakamalapit na Wendy's. Manood kaya ko ng Spiderman sa Fairview?
Hayst. Gusto ko ng tinapay na may crispy thin layers. Kahit yung hopiang baboy sa bakery papatulan ko na. Di ba wala namang halong baboy yun? Teka, meron ba?
Bakit di masarap ang cinnamon roll sa starbucks? Kahit yung crepe cake nila di rin masarap? Pero masarap yung vegan keneme nila na tinapay na may filling na lasang karne.
Tokwa, puro pagkain ang naiisip ko.
12:28 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Slept past 10 last night thinking of an oval melts-in-the-mouth cake, wondering if I should once again have a cheat day next week.
Been having phlegm build-up on lungs on and off since last year when we got sick. Last month, I had this mucus build-up on the lungs for the entire month. I had been trying to get a hold of N Acetyl Cystein supplement to get it fixed. The one I bought in Shopee gave me stomachache for 3 days. I wonder if it was fake or maybe Swanson was just not a good supplement brand. I remember having the same problem when I bought lysine from the same store.
Healthy Option's online shop does not have NAC. Last Thursday, dumayo pa ko ang SM North para magbakasakali na merong NAC ang physical shop. Sulit naman ang total of 4 hours commute, dahil on the 2nd day, the phlegm build-up was totally gone. Wala ring stomachache at all.
Pre-pandemic era, noong pumapasok pa ko sa office, some guy I do not know offered me an oval-shaped pastry na parang cheese cake. Since hindi naman sya mukhang axe murderer, at napansin ko din na mukhang sosyal yung box ng cake at mukhang Japanese brand, tinanggap ko na.
The cake's label read "Kumori", a Japanese word that means "cloudy". One bite and it melts in the mouth. Sobrang sarap. Sabi ng kasama ko sa trabaho, meron daw kumori sa Gateway. Hindi ko na nga lang nagawang hanapin.
Last Thursday, habang nagkanda ligaw ligaw ako kakahanap ng exit malapit sa sakayan pauwi, nakasalubong ko yung kumori. Box of 6 was worth 300. Halos dalawang kagat lang yung laki per piece, sa price na 50 pesos. Grabe. Pero, well, sulit naman.
Naiisip isip ko yung cake ng kumori kagabi. Ano kayang lasa nung ube flavor? Cheese palang ang natitikman ko. May mga iba pa silang pastry dun na mukha ring masarap.
Yung supposed cheat day ko e inabot ng 4 days. I did not gain weight, but lost only half kilo. I usually lose 2 kilos per week. I'm striving to lower my blood sugar to below 90 by drinking dissolved cocoa powder without sugar every meal. If I can maintain this blood sugar level and steady weight-loss, how much damage will I get if I'll eat a cake from kumori again next week?
Kaso... kailangan ko ring mag tipid.
My neice found the kumori box and was asking what was in it. I explained how it looked and tasted like in full details, which made my neice say, "gusto ko rin nun, Tita". I love my neice.
There are 7 of us in the house. 1 pc each will not suffice. 3 boxes cost 900 pesos. Wala pa yung pamasahe at pagkain ko.
Gusto ko ng kumori cake.
10:59 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Thursday and Friday, I finished Kono Oto Tomare and Kamisama Kiss. KK was a typical cringy shoujo, while KOT was surprisingly good. Started watching The Day I Reincarnated As A Slime. Most anime I've watched, the protagonist has a clear goal, that's why the plot is easy predict and follow. Pero sa Slime, kulit ng plot. Tipong wala ka talagang magiging idea sa next na mangyayari. That, in a way, has its own pro's and con's.
Sumasakit na naman ang mata ko kakanood.
Sis-in-law and kids just got back from Cavite last sat. May mga dala silang fruit including buko and green mango. Mom made buko salad yesterday. Pamiramdam ko, I deserve an award for the strength of my restraint. Dati ako umuubos ng buko juice at never akong tumanggi sa buko salad.
Mahal kasi ang vitamins. I mean, what's the point of spending thousands for supplements, if I'll still eat things that can make me sick, di ba?
Mom bought a supplement called Xanthones Gold. Pretty expensive. I've told her many times na gumagastos sya to get healthy, pero kumakain pa rin sya ng junk food. Practically nullifying the effect. Pero kasi, makulit ang nanay ko, ano namang magagawa ko?
Totoo, di natin alam what the future holds, kaya dapat mag enjoy while we can. Hindi nga siguro enjoy yung hindi kumain ng mga pagkaing gusto mo, but then so does spending the rest of your life, sick, di ba?
Ewan ko. Bahala na.
Gusto ko ng cake sa Conti's at Donut ng Jco. T_T
11:52 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Wednesday. Wala yung usual happy feeling knowing na day off ko na bukas. Bad trep ako mula umaga dahil wala na naman akong pagkain. Alam ko namang kasalan ko dahil sobrang arte ko. Siguro time of the month na. Bwisit na bwisit ako on little things, and maintaining my peace can be a struggle.
Gusto ko manood ng Spiderman. The nearest opened cinema is in fairview. Babyahe pa ko ng 2 hours balikan para lang manood ng sine, e marami namang pwedeng panoorin sa netflix.
Gusto kong bumalik sa sm north to buy more supplements. Kailangan ko ng zinc at dhea. Sayang rin yung 150 off voucher na nakuha ko the last time. 4 hours travel to buy supplements. Argmp.
Mag franchise kaya ako ng Healthy Options dito samin. Wow, dami pera!
Sighs. Why is it so difficult to live with humans?
02:42 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
I had a dream last that I was answering a call at work. The dream barely had images at all, only voices... or no, I think wala ring voices, only mental communication of some sort.
I was verifying the user's email, pero hindi ko daw makuha yung name na iniispell nya. Then he spoke close to my ears saying that the reason why I was finding it hard to comprehend his email e dahil it contains some power daw. I felt my right hand pressed onto the bed and pressure spread across the side of my chest. I must've woken up as I can see the darkness of our room, and my side of the bed. My wrist still being pressed down the bed, I couldn't move my entire right arm. I remember the song that goes like "there is power in Your name". It felt silly, but when I said "Jesus Christ", the pressure on my wrist instantly went off.
Namaligno ba ko? Tokwa.
Normally, pag may ganitong kababalaghan na nagyayari, takot akong bumaba sa 1st floor ng mag isa, or kahit magpunta lang sa cr. But then I thought, if warding off evil spirit is that easy, then what's there to get scared of.
Nag wiwi parin ako mag-isa after that dream. Felt invincible since I only need to say "Jesus Christ" and nothing can harm me. Bumaba rin ako at 5:40am to prepare for work.
Ewan ko kung guni guni ko lang ba to, or maybe the Heaven's of reminding me of His existence.
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Humuhupa na ang Covid cases. More than the horror I experienced last night, I think I dread going back to the office more.
Ano bang gagawin ko?
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Finished watching Slime anime, including slime diaries. My favorites are Rimuru, Soei, and Benimaru. Ang popogi talaga ng anime characters.
Started watching the Japanese dating reality show, Love Is Blind Japan.
Sa simula nung series, I thought it was quite unbalanced na ang gaganda ng mga female participants, pero yung mga guy, so-so. But as the show progressed, after seeing some of their good points, I found that they're actually quite charming din pala. I am a woman afterall. My favorite was that kimpatsu hairstylist dude. The girl she chose was also cute. I hope they'll end up well together.
Feb 15 pa ata next episodes, tas Feb 22 pa yung final. Nakakainip mag hintay.
10:05 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
2.5 hours into my shift, and I feel spent already.
Been watching anime and JP series for months now. Pag may kausap akong JP user, naiimagine ko na sila yung favorite anime character ko, or favorite JP series actor ko. May bahagyang kilig tuloy. Lol.
May bagong episode na ang Love Is Blind- Japan. I really love that kimpatsu dude. Looks like the girl he chose has fallen for him as well. Nakakaaliw panoorin ang mga dating reality show.
I find it quite amusing how men and women behave differently when they like the person they are with. Magkaiba kasi e, di ba? Basta.
Wala na naman akong pasok bukas. I'm trying to convince myself not to go out of the house to avoid spending money. Once I'm back to the office, I will have more than enough time to spend money by then. I should make the most of this tipid time. Really.
While watching Love Is Blind, I felt like there were times when the couple gotten closer together when they eat together. Problema ko talaga to.
I remember my TM friends used tease me on how picky I am with food. I wasn't even a pescetarian back then. Pano pa ngayon?
Sa tingin ko, hindi naman talaga ako maarteng kumain noon. Sadyang ang hilig lang kasi nila kumain ng ma garlic at maonion na pagkain. I hated those. I find these more tolerable now, but the amount of garlic and onion they eat is still beyond my powers. Lol.
IT could be harder now. I've never eaten meat for more that two years. I remember eating with my officemates sa samgyeup sal. Side dish, kanin, at mushroom lang kinain ko. Thankfully, nanlibre yung kasama namin ng mango cake sa contis, kaya kahit paano, di naman ako nagutom.
I find eating outside with other people a bit stressful lalo na kung di kami ganun ka close. If it's with my friends, I can force them to eat somewhere with seafood. Pero pag di kasi kami ganun kaclose, nahihiya akong mag inarte. I don't really want to cause people inconvenience dahil lang sa kaartehan ko sa pagkain.
Do I miss going out with people?
Ewan. Di siguro masyado. Hardcore introvert din kasi siguro talaga ko. But I do miss having bigger world than this.
Come to think of it, before Pandemic, I was an Area Champion, Vice President of an organization, doing all sort of cool stuff. Pero ngayon, eto ko, naglalampaso ng pupu ng cats at nagbibinge watch lang ng anime at J-series. Totally uncool. Lol.
I don't mind being uncool though. I just feel like it's a waste of potential to be like this. Nakakamiss mag strive towards excellence, yung mga ganung bagay. Nakakamiss mafeel yung fulfillment pag feeling mo, finally, after ng pagpupursige, ayun, sa wakas, gumaling ka na rin sa ginagawa mo.
Isn't this why I love anime? Exactly because of this feeling? But anime aren't real though. Real life is.
Tsk. Ayoko pa ring bumalik sa office.
‐-----
Been reading manga of Kono Oto Tomare, Black Clover, and Skip Beat. Iove these so much. Kainis lahat ongoing. Ilang dekada pa ba bago ko makuha ang closure na kailangan ko sa mga ito? Ahrmp.
11:01 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Nothing interesting.
I filed a 3-day leave by the 2nd week of March, right before my supposed rest day. 5 days to laze out and binge watch anime/series. I feel like I've ran out of things to watch though.
Watching Haikyuu. I've been trying to save this for later, I was pretty sure that this would be good. I was right. I'm down to the last season. Mukhang next season na ang laban ng Nekoma at Karasuno. I'm already on episode 14 out of 25. They're still battling Inarizaki. They wouldn't lose, right?
Damn, it takes a lot of will power not to read spoilers.
I love everyone from karasuno, but my top favorite is in Neķoma. That Kenma dude, nakakatuwa sya kasi antamad nya. Lol. Reminds me of Shikamaru.
Sighs... anong gagawin ko sa 5 days na wala akong pasok? I would've finished Haikyuu by then. I wonder if Onepiece is good enough. Ang boring ng mga unang episodes e. Is Attack of the Titan worth watching?
Need to go to SSS. Maybe go back to SM north to use my Health Options voucher. Sometimes it's depressing how action-packed the lives of the anime characters are, when mine is this lame...
Grrrrrr...
Gusto kong dumating yung time when I will no longer feel like watching anime to feel good, because real life is already so much better.
I remember I facilitated a volleyball competition back in high school nung nag host ang school namin ng sports competition sa mga catholic high-school sa Bulacan. I was a COCC, so kasama kami sa committee. Na disappoint pa ko na girls volleyball ang na assign sakin at di mga lalaki.
Hindi ko maalala kung ako ba yung scorer. Basta may sarili akong table at the side of the net. Tokwa, hindi ko maalala. Kahit yung word na "libero", I feel like should've heard it while facilitating the tournament, pero di ko talaga maalala.
Bakit ba hindi ako nahilig sa sports noon? I remember joining various writing and poster-making contests even back in high school, kahit hindi ako ganun kagaling, pero bakit hindi ako sumali sa sports contests? Or singing, or dancing... ang ganda sigurong experience.
Gusto ko yung feeling na nasa contest. Kaba at excitement, sobrang nakakamiss. Ang sarap din ng feeling ng nananalo.
Surely, I love lazing out. Pero masaya rin yung maging magaling ka sa mga bagay na pinaghiran mo, at makita yung results. Ayoko rin naman maging tamad all the time.
Sighs... I miss having an action-packed life.
12:02 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
I remember something I've read from Tony Robbins dati. Something like adjusting your state to induce good feelings.
Been feeling down lately. So I tried to raise my arms, look up, and smile widely. Surprisingly effective.
Finished Haikyuu, both the anime and manga. Wala namang namatay na character, so I'm not sure why it's making me sad. Melancholic? I'm not really sure where this defeated feeling is coming from. Maybe I'm just sad that I'm no longer young anymore, and the dreams I used to dream may not be achievable anymore...
But really... I've worked hard, you know. I did have my share of tamad days too, but I did work hard. Hindi ko parin masabi na wala akong regrets. Tokwa. I hate this.
I remember what Tsum Tsum said na,
"Yesterday's gone, so what are we gonna go today?"
Ayoko na magkaron ng regrets sa future. Ano bang dapat kong gawin?
Sighs.
......
Raise your hand.
Look up.
Smile widely.
.....
Let's do our best.
09:57 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Noong unang panahon, may isang lalaking nagsabi sakin na type nya daw ang mga babaeng foodie. Lol.
I've always had this love-hate relationship with food. And I don't really cook. That's just how it is.
I successfully avoided sugar the entire January. Came February, and I started having cheat dayssss every week. Cheat days run 3 to 4 days. Lol. Who am I kidding?
I'm not gaining weight, but I'm losing some at a really slow pace. Like only about 1 kilos every 2 weeks.
The reason why I've been avoiding sugar is to somehow extend my lifespan due to this nodule on my thyroid at tirads 4.
Lately, I've somehow lost interest in extending my lifespan, but I've been bothered with the issue going on in Ukraine and Russia. If Ph will somehow get caught in all this chaos, I would like to get at least fit enough to run for my life—while carrying 7 cats and 2 senior citizens(my parents), that is.
Ang gulo ng mundo, no? Kawawa yung mga bata, mga hayop, at mga matatanda. Ano kaya ang gagawin ko pag nagkaron ng gyera? I will do everything in my power to protect those that matters to me. I just wish I'd be strong enough to do the job. Bakit ba walang superheroes sa henerasyon na ito?
I love bread. I wonder if I'll die early if I keep on eating bread. I stopped eating meat in consideration to the animals around 3 years ago. Can I at least keep on eating bread? Really...
I was raised to believe that I was an exceptional kid. The results of the things that I do usually fluctuates from really bad to really good though. But at times like this, I sometimes imagine myself teaming up with the brilliant minds all over the world to solve the world's problem. Nakakatawa, I actually do not have a single doubt that I can do it.
I must be watching too much anime.
But really, what can I do?
04:19 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
