Entries for January, 2021
January 8 na pala at ngayon ko lang nagawa ang 1st entry of the year ko. Hindi ko matandaan kung anong ginawa ko nitong mga nakaraang araw bukod sa trabaho. Probably playing some game or something.
Bukas, balik trabaho ulet.
Naalala ko yung co#1. I'm pretty sure there were days back then when I was probably sick of working and had long been contemplating to quit, but I no longer remember them now. Funny I kept remembering fond memories.
How magical it felt when the door to Chubu Kenshuu Center opened automatically in front of me. It felt surreal. Whenever I want to feel lucky, I always bring myself back to my CKC days, the day when my dream of going to Japan and learning a foreign language came true.
Pero hindi naman lahat ng fond memories ko sa co#1, ganun ka grand. Meron ding simple fond memories lang, pero equally precious. I remember 1 time I was so busy with work that I needed to go to work on a Sunday kahit mag-isa lang ako. I had the key to the office, I decided to bring Dad along para di masyado nakakatakot. Co#1's office was posh and well-kept, Dad was amazed. Wala naman syang ginawa sa office, pinag dikit dikit nya lang yung chair para matulog.
Nagpa deliver ako ng Tapa sa Rufo's for lunch. I remember the delighted look on Dad's face when we were eating together. He ate like it was the best meal ever. I loved that day. Dad looked so happy and content. I loved Rufo's tapa mostly because of that moment. I no longer eat tapa now, but I wish I can let Dad eat their beef tapa again, and will let Mom eat too.
Gusto ko nang yumaman. Kung tutuusin, this past year, sobrang na blessed ako financially, because of co#4. Pero sa totoo lang, bawat company na napagtrabahuhan ko, naging malaking blessings din para samin.
Naalala ko dati nung namasyal kami sa SM Fairview. We were just starting our career back then kaya wala pa ring masyadong pera. I remember passing by City Buffet, at ang nasabi lang namin e, "pag yaman natin, kakain tayo dyan." Ngayon, umay na umay na kami sa City Buffet.
I want my family to enjoy a good life. A luxurious one. Yung bonggang bongga talaga. I can't imagine getting rich tapos wala sila sa equation. I don't want that. I want to get rich so we can all enjoy, and I feel like I need to hurry up because my parents are not getting any younger.
Sabi ni Deepak Chopra, a quiet mind is more powerful than a positive one daw.
I think I manifested co#4 through the power of silence. I want to believe that I can manifest absolute financial freedom as well, with the same effortless ease using, this same technique.
Silence.
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The past 2 days I spent playing games, watching tv, playing with my niece and nephew etc, etc.
I consider co#4 as a huge blessing for the past year. I am grateful. Still, in my heart I know that I still want to be free.
I know, I'm getting there.
09:23 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Someone I know told me that her husband left her for another woman.
It's been barely over a year since they got married.
The wife is pretty. When it comes to looks, the husband doesn't even come close to the wife's level. I don't know.
Alam mo ba na majority ng friends ko na nag-asawa e at least once e sinabi na "sana pala hindi nalang ako nag-asawa."
Minsan nakakaawa. Feeling ko luging lugi ang mga babae when it comes to marriage.
Agaw-buhay sa panganganak. After manganak masisira yung health mo at katawan mo. Pag nagka ngipin si baby, makakagat pa nipples mo. Madalas sa hindi, ikaw pa ang tagaluto, tagalaba, tagahugas, etc. Wala pang isang taon yung tahi mo sa panganganak e nagbubuhat ka ng isang plangganang puno ng labada.
Kung ang asawa mo e hindi gwapo at hindi mayaman, ang pakinabang mo lang sa kanya e performance nya sa kama. Pero kung kahit dun e wala syang talent, ano na?
Ewan. Saludo ako sa mga babaeng nagawang magstay sa marriage kahit walang masyadong benepisyong at puro perwisyo ang nakukuha nila. Ewan.
I hate men who have the nerve to shout at his wife despite all her sacrifices. Takte, bago mo pinakasalan yan, she was her parents' beloved daughter tas sisigawan mo lang. Porket nagtrabaho ka para sa kakarampot mong sahod, kala mo pagmamay-ari at alipin mo na yung asawa mo kung sigawan mo.
I mean, marriage can be tough, and we all have to live our part, pero takte, if you've already reached the maximum of what you can give, and can no longer contribute some more, at least be kind.
I mean, if you can't afford to buy your wife a gift, or expand the family budget, at least treat her nicely.
It's just weird, you know. I used to think that marriage should be a goal for single women. But the more married couples I see, the more I feel sorry for the women who have gotten themselves in that situation.
Siguro nagkataon lang na ganitong klaseng couples ang nakikita ko.
In a way, feeling ko ok na rin na iniwanan yung kakilala ko ng asawa nya for another woman. I think she deserves so much better.
04:58 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Woke up with bad colds, heavy head and nonstop cough. 2nd week palang ng taon nakadalawang absent na ko. Feeling ko, gumagawa lang ng dahilan ang katawan ko para makatakas sa trabaho.
Naiirita ako sa JP user na ina assist ko nitong mga nakaraang araw. Kung tutuusin, mabait naman sya. Nakakainis lang na araw araw syang nagpapa remote ng PC. Kahit na fix na yung initial issue, iimbento sya ng bagong issue na dapat i-fix. Feeling ko ginagawa nya na akong personal IT.
I gave him the final instructions yesterday, then closed the ticket. Sabi ko tawag nalang sya ulit kung may issue pa. Nung nag reply sya, nagpaparemote pa rin kaya hindi ko na pinansin. Na resolve na yung initial issue, at yung mga sumunod. Kung ia-assist ko pa sya, hindi na kami matatapos kaya, bahala na.
Sabi sa records, associate director daw to. Tokwa, bahala na talaga.
....
Nalala ko yung sinabi ng classmate ko nung high-school:
Gusto ko grumadweyt, ayoko na mag-aral. Gusto ko lang makipag kwentuhan sa inyo at maghappy happy.
Sa tingin ko ganito yung nararamdaman ko sa pagiging empleyado:
Gusto kong sumweldo, ayoko nang pumasok, gusto ko lang yumaman at mag happy happy.
Nung bata pa ko, I remember wanting to prove myself to the world. Ngayon, ewan ko. Parang gusto ko nalang yumaman. Or siguro, gusto ko lang maging malaya.
11:49 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Rest days are almost over, and yet I feel like I've never had the time for anything.
I've been taking care of 2- 17 days old kittens. They didn't like the milk that I bought, and the other brand turned out to be potentially harmful for them, so I had to give them to the mother during feeding time. Real pain in the arse.
Lately, the mother is getting in heat and is making lampong with 3 male cats, one of which, is my cat, Jiufen.
So when the kittens cry for milk, the mother is most of the time nowhere to be found. Argness.
Then, I keep the kittens on this furry cat bed that I bought for my Jiufen that he never really used. When the kittens eyes were still closed, they might've thought that the furry bed was their mother. They've gotten used to the bed that they sometimes cry when already well-fed, so I can bring them back to their furry bed.
Today, I needed to wash the bed because it's already dirty and there were a few ants already. As you know, hindi naman talaga ako naglalaba. Ansakit sa kamay magkusot, so I used my feet and stomped on it instead. Sakit sa bewang. I must've put too many soap, the whole thing was real foamy, it took me forever to finish cleansing. Nung matapos ako, daig ko pa nag gym.
Basa pa rin yung cat bed kahit nidryer ko na. Bumili ako ng furry throw pillow of similar texture. Wala naman kasing nabibili na cat bed sa palengke. The kittens are still crying for their old bed. Bakit kaya ang bratinella ng mga pusa?
Bukas pahirapan na naman sa pagpapadede. May work pa ko. Tokwa.
Pero sa kabila ng hassle na to, I really love these kittens. Things will probably be a whole lot harder once they've gotten bigger. Bahala na.
I wonder if parenting humans is as hard as parenting kittens. Siguro harder. Kaya saludo talaga ako sa mga nanay. At maybahay.
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Ang dami kong ginagawa. That's why I hate it when people reach out to me and add to the things that I have to do. Lalo na dun sa mga lumalapit lang naman talaga pag may kailangan. Haha. Alam ko, ganun din naman ako minsan. Pero, basta.
Kailangan ko ba talaga mag reply? Kailangan ko ba talaga gawin yung mga pinapagawa nyo sakin? Bakit? Hahaha.
Siguro one of the ways to take care of yourself is to not spend time on things that you don't really care about.
And I want to take care of myself.
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Work ulet bukas.
Dahil sa nabasa kong entry dito sa Tabulas, naisip ko na baka kaya ayoko magtrabaho e dahil hindi ako masyadong magaling sa ginagawa ko. Baka pag mas gumaling pa ako e mas ma enganyo na akong magtrabaho.
Ewan ko.
Alam mo ba, last month na daw ng TL namin this month. Grabe naubos na ang mga TL sa office. This TL is very kind. Sobrang daling kausap ng taong to, so mejo nag-aalala ako na baka hindi na namin kasundo yung pumalit. Hindi ko alam kung sinong papalit. Sana mabait din.
Mejo nakakalungkot. Pag bumalik na kami sa trabaho, hindi ko alam kung may matitira pa ba sa mga kakilala ko.
Alam mo, ok naman yung work ko e. IT. Ang problema lang e engineering kasi yung course ko, so mejo mahirap at first. Over 1 year into this job and I'm kinda getting a hang on things already. I also have officemates na natatanungan ko sa mga bagay bagay, so it's not really so bad.
Mahirap lang, yung sa language. Since I left company #1 year 2013, hindi na ko nakapag Japanese class ulet. Sinubukan ko rin mag self-study, kaso sobrang nakakatamad talaga, di kaya ng will power ko. Since then, I solely learn from the Japanese people I support. In a way, tingin ko, nag improve din naman yung language skills ko. Lalo na now na mas marami na kaming Japanese calls.
Siguro nga, language ang problema. Dahil hindi ko mapilit ang sarili ko mag-aral, pinipilit ko nalang na manood ng j-drama. I hate that I started with Alice in Borderland. Now every jdrama that I watch appears lame in comparison.
If you happen to have watched a good jdrama, even half as good as Alice, recommendation naman please. : )
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Hinalo ko yung 1 can ng bear brand sterilized, sa around 3 scoops ng ice cream to make milk shake. My gawd, ansarap!
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Aside from Japanese, I support English speakers as well. Bilang nasa morning shift ako, kadalasan Indian ang na su-support ko. When I was new here, my coworkers often joke about the Indian callers, mostly for there accent. But over 1 year in the company, I think they are actually pretty good. And in all fairness to them, sa dinamidami ng Indian users na nasupport ko, I have never encountered anyone who was irate or rude. Every single one of them is nice. That's why I don't hate them.
The people from EMEAR, though I have fewer encounters with them, are also very kind. Nose bleed lang talaga since madalas e hindi sila nag i-english.
May mga rude na Japanese, may mga rude na American. Pero karamihan naman mababait. Pero based sa mga taong na encounter ko, ang pinaka entitled at nakakakabad trip na nationality sa lahat e.... can you guess?
Pinoy. Hahaha. I only had 2. 1 male and 1 female. Parehas maangas, entitled, at kung umasta kala mo sila nagpapasahod sayo. Hahaha.
Pero hindi ko sila masisi, kasi sa tingin ko, maraming time na ganun din naman ang ugali ko. Hahaha. Hindi ko alam kung culture ba to or nagkataon lang.
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Nagwawala na naman ang mga alaga kong kuting. Kahit mejo basa pa yung cat bed nila, kinuha ko na at binigay sa kanila. Ayun, mejo tumahimik na.
OA ang pagka demanding ng mga kuting ko. Pinoy talaga. Siguro, hindi ganito ang ugali ng mga kuting sa India. Haha.
07:59 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Hindi naman talaga ako nanonood, pero kakakilig si Mikael Daez sa palabas na to. Had he always been this cute?
09:31 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Watched this on Netflix, REA(L)OVE. A reality dating show with a twist. The twist is that, each participant has a dark secret.
Nayak ako by the end of the show. There were a lot of them that I hated at the start of the show, but ended up loving them towards the end.
<Spoiler Alert>
There was this woman there whose secret was that, she was born a man. In the end, she was chosen by a man, who didn't trust women because he was raped by one. His mother was also having an affair, and was using his hard-earned money for it. I was never a fan of BL romances, but after knowing their stories, I can't help but root for them.
Then there's that woman there who had sex to over 300 men, wondering if she'll ever find someone who can accept her. She ended up with this wonderful dude, whose dark secret was not really so bad. The girl was crying profusely when the guy chose him at the end of the show. I ended up joining her. Nakakaiyak kaya! Haha.
In the show, there is also that scheming girl that I hated from the start. Harot nya kasi e. Hahaha. But her dark secret explained everything. She's just fighting real hard, and with a justified reason at that. In the end, the guy she liked didn't choose her, though they both like each other, all because of her dark secret. Nakakasad lang.
Sighs. This show made me realize a lot of things. Maybe some stuff there were staged, but still, I feel like I've learned a lot about humanity watching it.
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Alam mo ba, what I hate about being an employee is that I feel like I do not own my time. There were many times when the wind breeze felt so nice on my face that I wanted to savor it longer, but needed to hurry up to prepare for work. Minsan gusto ko lang tapusin yung Bawal ang Judgmental ng Eat Bulaga, or tumingin sa ulap, i-admire ang ganda ng mga halaman, ganun. Pero parang laging walang time. Parang laging kailangan magmadali.
Lately narealize ko na hindi naman talaga kasalanan ng trabaho ko.
Off ko ng Thur Fri. I did spend some time feeling the wind breeze on my face, but I didn't stay long enough. Ano ba ginawa ko? Ewan. May oras din para manood ng Eat Bulaga, pero di rin naman ako nanood. Ni hindi ako nakapag dilig ng halaman. Wala namang humahabol sakin, and yet I always feel like I need to rush.
Will things change ba pag hindi na ko nagta trabaho?
Feeling ko mas ok pa ko during may younger years. I didn't have so much money, and had even less time but I least back then, I had an idea where I wanted to go.
Ngayon, ewan ko. Tingin ko, I just want to own my time. But as to how I want to use it for, hindi ko naman talaga alam.
11:14 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
