Entries for June, 2013
guess im starting to get a hold of myself. slowly picking up each fragments of shattered hope (what?!)
ok. tama na.
i happen to find my first blog ever by browsing thru my old emails. badtrip lang hindi ko na matandaan ang password. first entry dated 2004..been blogging na pala for 9 years. wow. loyalty award. read thru it again..jeez, i dont sound like myself. young. unorganized. crazy. innocent. parang hindi ako. i did change. nkakatuwa. at least now i no longer have some of those self-defeating behaviors. another blog, which i found a few months back, sounds like another self. naisip ko lang, hindi rin naman pala ko naging stagnant. ang dami nang nangyari.. yung iba paulet ulet.. kahet hindi mo sinasadya nagagawa mo paring ulitin yung mga dati mong mali.
sa isang korean novela before, queen seon dok ata ang title, i dont know if i spelled that right, pero basta, may part dun sa palabas na in a dream, the future dok man met the young dok man. her future self hugged her current self because she knows that she's gonna have a though life ahead. wala lang. parang ganun din ang gusto kong gawin sa old self ko. tapos iniisip ko pa kung anong klaseng future self kaya ang meron ako. or kung meron pa ba ko non. i mean, walang nakakaalam.
choice nga kaya ng tao kung magiging ano sya ?may kakayahan nga kaya sya na ishape ang buhay nya sa kung anong gusto nya?
im not as young as i use to be any more. its not like i have a whole life time ahead of me. if i fail, i know i may not have the time to recover from failure. i know its not gonna be as easy...
pero alam mo, i want to make it...to get there to a life that i want for myself. i want to get there and look back and realize that i tried and made it there..basta ganun.
siguro nga may nakatakda. hindi ko rin alam. ayako nang magwonder. basta. im gonna do it. im gonna shape my life into whatever fits my taste. basta.
at least meron na akong goal. parang blueprint ng buhay na gusto ko na ang kailangan ko lang gawin ay to have it built..
kaya ko to. kakayanin ko to..wish me luck..
05:45 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
just a feel good song for a beautiful lazy saturday evening..
good evening tabby.. <3
06:41 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
monday. such a long day. i skipped work. i hate lying, but i had no other choice. i got things to do and stuff to attend to and if all goes well, maybe id get to change job again..hayy... sana..
on thursday id be fighting 246 people. its the type of fight that i dont want to lose..and lose, i wont.. im gonna give it my all..basta, bahala na..
yesterday, i was with my business partner. matinding slaman sa divi..as in slaman ng katawan. pawis. init, ulan. matinding pakikibaka talaga. pero ayos lang...tama. mahirap magpayaman..pero lahat naman ata ng bagay sa buhay, mahirap. kaya ok lang.
kanina i went to my old university to get my TOR..nostalgic. nakakaemo.. know what, my cousin raf decided to take the same course as mine and study to the same university. funny choice of school considering that his parents can actually afford sending him to private schools/universities...but then, why not? and know what, i know its kinda early but im already excited to have the 2nd engineer in the family..oh, break a leg, raf..
haayyy...so ayun...
i feel like i did something wrong and i dont know how to make it right..sabi sa isang korni na telenobela, ang pride daw hindi nakakalason, kaya walang mangyayaring masama kung lulunukin mo.. kaya ko naman gawin yon..hindi ko lang alam kung pano..ang weird lang kasi...i hope that things will just fix themselves without me doing anything about it.
hai...kung pwede lang, i would slowly walk towards you and tentatively say "hello" and hope that you'd say "hello" too..pero kasi...hindi naman pwede.. :<
hai..hindi ko na alam..
heavens...will you please fix these for me?
06:33 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
"early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise"--isang gasgas na saying.
おはよう!
ill be skipping work again..interview at 3pm. eto ang disadvantage ng nakatira sa bundok. mkkpg half day pa sana ko kung mas natapos ako ng maaga. pero sayang ang pamasahe..sheeet..bankruptcy!!stay away from me!!
wala na kong sasahurin this week..
bills, expenses..future expenses..yung pangarap kong makabili ng share sa stock market kaylangan ko nang tuparin..sheet..
nauubusan na ko ng gasgas na dahilan sa opis. pero ayoko na kasi talaga...
kaylangan kong matanggap sa isa sa mga co na to by hook or by crook..ewan.
absent na naman ako sa thurs. mom said i better skip wednesday too para mas convincing..pero i cant skip panata day.
my 2 prospective co is far from our chap. ayoko nalang isipin..pero sana makahanap ako ng paraan. basta ill just cross the bridge when i get there...sabi ni vince, success is preparation meeting opportunity.. pero ang lakas kasi maka bad omen. ewan. maybe im being too superstitious.
hayyy...ang bilis bilis ng panahon. june na. our bora month. dapat gawing puspusan ang diet.hehe..pero useless din. im gonna be with nini and sha, my conservative friends, baka sa halip na mag swim suit ay mg jogging pants pa kami sa beach...haha..ok lang din.nep and tope, nini's boylets' gonna be with us. sana walang masyadong gastos. i dont want to incur some more damage to my already damaged bank account...but on the bright side, poor as i am now, at least meron parin bank acct. ako na.
june...half of the year's about to pass..feeling ko ang daming nangyari pero hindi naman ako umusad..pero ok lang yan. the other half of the year's gonna be better..oh, sana talaga matanggap ako sa ibang co..im gonna break a leg for this..
頑張って baby..
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miss ko na mgjap..corni naman magjap pag wala namang nakakaintindi sau.. amp..ni chat ako sa fb ng isa sa mga jap ng dati kong co. kaso ini-english nya naman ako. taeness.
hayyy...
これからも頑張ります。
じゃあ。。
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no more heart break entry muna for now..jeez..i need to grow up and outgrow all these..
wait,...
i was with yang, sa divi when a vendor ask us, anong hanap nyo 'te? to which yang replied, boyfriend..
haha...
laugh trip.
06:50 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
"there is no horrible job. only horrible attitude towards job"--i forgot where i read this, but who cares.
if this blog will be found by anyone at the office and find bad things written here, i might be force to shut this down and i dont want that to happen so i must shut up..
pero hindi rin..who cares..
arrrgg..she's getting into my nerves..my patience is rather long, but jeez, she made me snap.i hate people who are in the position where they can influence other people, and yet they are the ones who are giving bad example. i swear the next time she'd do something like this, im not gonna let it pass...no wonder we cant have our problems fixed. arg. im being reactive. im not like this. jeez, you and your immaturity is too contagious for my taste. AARRG!!
i feel like saying things this way is like stooping myself down to her level. i shouldnt let this happen. but damn, THIS IS SO AGGRAVATING!!!
----
breathe in breathe out..
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wednesday today. i went to the chap with thoughts of wanting to slap someone. im bad. arg..im sorry heavens.
well, fr. M was there. he sounded better now unlike 2 weeks ago when he sounded sick. he spoke of religious vocation and stuff. said that the people who are applying to be priests and nuns are getting scarce. i wonder what will happen to the church if we ran out of people with religious vocation...well,i dont know..but maybe the heavens will not let that happen, wont He?which made me think, what if the heavens actually want me to be a nun, would i say yes??ayokong isipin...(oh..no please...)haii..sorry.. i dont know, i care for the church, but then...haii..i know im stressed enough with other stuff and yet im stressing myself with things like these..but still, oh, please..no..
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its 10:24 now. tomorrow's the day. im scared.
10:31 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
first, my brother,
then, "G",
and now, here's another...
surprise, surprise..
shara too is getting married this coming july. she texted me this morning while i was having an excruciating ride in mrt. as expected, nini called moments later. i knew she'd feel the same as i do..shocked..i was talking to her on the phone then, at hindi ko maiwasang mag falsetto at mgreact in a high pitched voice.. what?shara's getting married??!
nini said, i need to be pressured. but i do not really feel that way. im just sad that shara may not go with our gatherings as often as before once she got married. and yes, the bitter feeling is there. im human after all. but im happy for shara. see, i love her. she's one of those very few friends that i was able to keep for years..i just hope that having her own family, will not keep her apart from us..jeez..i shouldnt be like this..change, you never fail to surprise me talaga...
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hayyyysst...i wouldve dwelled on that shocking news if i wasnt tormented enough with today's event.
i feel like katniss everdeen on a reaping day..
hayyyysst..
i did my best, now, im letting the heavens do the rest..
may the odds be ever be in our favor..
and the waiting game begins..
pagkatapos nito, ayoko na muna ulet...oh heavens, how long will things gonna be like this?
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im gonna be back to work tom. im not really that sure kung meron pa nga akong babalikan. i mean, they're not dumb. i know they wont be buying the me-being-sick-that's-why-i-took-a-leave lie. its way too obvious. i really hate doing this. i know im not being fair. i just dont have a choice. im actually thinking of resigning before i find a new job just so i wont have to make up all these lies. but hell, i need money. i am sorry..
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sighss,,, i think im just tired..
11 on the dot..good night.
お休み、
10:58 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
and so, i am now officially..
jobless
*bow*
07:29 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
good noon. its saturday. 1st day of being a bum. mom's on the phone announcing my resignation to our relatives. my bro, who's out of town as always, heard the news over the phone too yesterday.. got somewhat reprimanded for what i have done, and really, bro made a point. i know im at fault this time.
i am actually sad. i wouldve sank into depression by now, but then, i feel like my world, or maybe the world in general, had suddenly went fast-paced that if i let depression slow me down, i might just be left behind.
hayyyyyss..
the drama of my life. parang movie. only, i dont have a guarantee that its all gonna be a happy ending or something.
really, i use to have this overly monotonous kind of life, and now it went a little too action-packed, hindi na rin ata masaya.
ayun.. sa ngaun, i want to fix things and fix it fast. im actually scared of going on with my career coz i might repeat doing the same thing. its just hard to keep something and hate it. i dont know if i can find something i wont hate soon..its funny how my own credentials are what keeping me from landing to a better company..
ang hirap mag move forward kung hindi mo naman talaga alam kung saan mo gustong pumunta. ang hirap mgdecide kung anong path ang pipiliin mo kung hindi mo alam kung anong gusto mong marating.
thinking of enrolling to tesda just to pass time. mom said to wait for 2 weeks before i apply because i cant damage my reputation some more by accepting the job and leaving it right away..she's hoping maybe, that ill be accepted in smdc. i would love that too..but i dont want to be attached to the idea..i have to be ready to move on. been browsing odesk too.. its either the pay's too low, or the job's too big..or maybe im just being lazy..
i thought of re-reading hp and hg, but its hard to do the things you do on your leisure when in reality you are in deep trouble. but maybe im gonna give it a try ulet..for therapeutic purposes.. shocks...i feel like ive messed my life up big this time talaga.
hayyyss..sa ngaun. bahala na. i feel sorry for the people who are gonna be affected now that i no longer earn money. hayy. i dont know. they say, money is the root of all evil, but i feel like, if you lack the money, you cant love people more..
i fought big time to earn my degree, my license.. and everything. believe me, it wasnt easy. blood, tears, sweat, sleepless nights, prayers and countless sacrifices. hindi talaga naging madali lahat. now im thinking of throwing away all those hardship and sacrifices..i know mom will not approve, but the decision will still have to come from me.. i just cant see the point of pursuing a career you dont even like. or do i have to just search some more and give myself a time?
i tend to do things rash. maybe i should slow down a bit now. i kind of embarrassed with my alma mater too and on how they cannot be proud of me at the moment. i still respect this kind of profession and im still grateful that i made it here.. maybe im just having a second heart because of how things turned. oh, i cant decide..
surely, letting fate do its thing at times like this can really be convenient...
苦しい。。死にたい。。
i need to fight off the urge!!oh, get a life!!
12:37 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
good noon. its a monday. jobhunt mode on.
seems like insomia's saying hello to me again. back to i-cant-sleep mode last night so i ended up pestering my frend at around near midnight..texting random stuff..haii..yang, my biz partner..haaii.. i need to find job soon so we can keep this thing going..
the bora trip soon. nep's been sending message about the options he can think of as to how we can spend the day.. ang saket sa ulo..i hope nep understands the difference in our salary. sighs..nini share the same laments. we were talking on the fone and agreed na magtampisaw nalang kami sa beach para para walang gastos. poor nep, i know he's into this kind of adventures and he got the means.. he shouldve invited a different bunch of friends..hayyss.. anyway, shara will not be coming with us na.. superstitious reason i think. since she's getting married and all, said she got to avoid trips. which will lead me to stick with nep once the couple, nini and tope, decided to have their own moments together..oh shara,how can u do this to me?..T_T
hai..i think we should give sha a decent bridal shower...but how? i dont even know how i can give her a decent gift. i hope i wont end up giving her a card..amp.
denielle's debut is up and coming too.. i am supposed to be one of the 18 books. pauso. wala naman talagang ganun ahh,...ahhh!!!should i just give her one of my books. i have a decent collection. but still, its cheap to give used ones, i know..amp.. plus the rest of my family's gonna have their birthday too..i mean, my mom, dad and bro's bday are all cramped up in the month of june and july. great. im jobless.. ohh...good thing christmas do not happen in june..oh boy... ahhh!!gusto ko nang magbenta ng excess body part!!!whatever.
..chill..uso parin naman ang card. ew. cheap. haist..
ok na rin,, sa ngayon, i dont really feel that bad. maybe im glad that ive left after all. i just hope that i get to land with a job soon.. and it has to be a good one..tapos, magpapakabait na ko..siguro, sana..hayys..
{ 音楽} music of dad's choice..nakakaubos ng kabataan type
{ 本} hp and the sorcerer's stone
{ ショー} eat bulaga
{ 気分} hopeful
01:38 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
just now, i remembered some boy in the past who used to say that he wants to get married at the age of 30ish, i forgot the exact age..
and said that he wants to marry...oh, guess who..
me.
---
oh well..guess im getting old. im remembering things. the boy will turn 27 this dec and we're still not talking..haha..
---
i need to get back to business and quit remembering.
im just bored.
goodnight..
02:48 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
3:56 pm and im so sleepy.
im suppose to draw a floor plan for my uncle's house, but instead, i washed the dishes, sweep the floor, generally cleaned the house, watched tv and a whole litany of other boring things. great. my way of procrastinating things makes me look like an ideal housewife. dang.
home alone today. parents went out for their social life and i was left alone to man the house. i feel like my parents are actually enjoying all these, me being jobless and all. coz, see, now, they've got a new housemaid→me.
earlier this morning, a cousin, who had been a foreman for so long, talked to me over the phone. he is yet again convincing me to work with him and get contractual projects. he'll do the job, i'll sign, and hooorray!!, we will earn money!!! well, its actually a legitimate plan. it may actually work. only,,, I DONT LIKE TO DO IT!!!!so, i, yet again, refused.. i dont know.. i guess, its how that someone ive met from one of my jobhunts said it, e. about "being used, but not useful". i think i just want to do something and believe that it matters. or maybe i only want to do something when i believe it matters. basta.
sighss. i hope that this idealism can feed me or pay bills.
well, so much for this.
goodnight.
04:14 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
independence day wednesday.
today's bff's birthday and she's in a far-off land..
hai..we're getting old.
its raining now.
im just sad.
goodnight.
03:30 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
hey.
bad weather. bad internet connection.
i cant connect. tried my using my cp to update here, but clearly, internet thru mobile phone just cant work with my 200/200 vision. whatever.
just got home from an interview. another interview tom. some schedule clashing and i really am having a hard time choosing which one to prioritize. ahh..i need to find a job id like, otherwise, i might just do what i did to my last co. again..great. most of the company ive been doesnt really interest me much. the latest one owns tony moly and etude house. good makeup brands. really, im more interested in their products than in the construction of their stalls. damn. sa arte kong to, hindi ako dapat ng CE..ok. matagal ko nang alam to. whatever. but still, i think, maybe, i just have to give it a try. hayy.
i surprised the hr kanina when i told her what my salary was in my first co. she cant believe that i decided to leave despite of the high salary. really, this always happen in every interview. and i keep repeating the same line which is " i left the company for career growth".. whatever. this is getting annoying. and the line in a katy perry song that plays in my head every time im feeling like this doesnt help. "how do i get better once i've had the best"...damn. who cares.
hai..i wonder what my 3rd co will be like..or will i ever have one? we will find out.. im actually seriously considering tesda. i found a center near our place. i wonder how it works. i heard they are giving classes for free.
haii..still feel like running in circle. tiring myself out and getting nowhere. mom said,for my own sanity, i should stop thinking and let heavens decide. sighs..it sucks to reach this age and still not having an inkling on what u want to do with your life.
ginusto mo yan e..
hayyy..bahala na.
{ 本} think and grow rich
{ ショー} i do i do
03:57 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
hmmm..pwede..hehe
06:40 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
sitting in the waiting room with a 22 year old hr assistant.
one man after another was passing our way, looking at me, saying "good morning, ma'am" and then, pass and announce very audibly, "pwede, maganda, maganda, pwede."..eeerm, ako ba yon?haha..feeling.
2nd intrview today. the manager was saying, he sure would rather consider me over the other applicant who's an under licensed archi grad. he said, he wants me to decide instead if im willing to have the job. after he explained, im well sure that i dont like it but said that its ok. but still i asked a few more questions on what i was worried about the job etc. he may have felt my hesitation coz after our talk he called the other applicant again. ah, ok..
if i had been "accepted" i may have put myself into more trouble.
haayyy.. i really want a change in career. i talked to mom about it. she said im no longer young, i should think it over. i know she got a point.
weird. im not even alarmed. or maybe not yet. afterall, it has only been a week since i quit my job. or maybe, i just dont care. this is bad.
-think.
-decide.
-plan.
-act it out.
these i should do..
goodluck.
02:28 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
I bargained with Life for a penny
and Life would pay no more
however I begged at evening
when I counted my scanty store
-----
for Life is a just employer
He gives you what you ask
but once you have set the wages
why, you must bear the task
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I worked for a menial's hire
only to learn, dismayed
that any wage I had asked of Life
Life would have willingly paid
{ 本} THINK AND GROW RICH
{ 気分} thinking...for now, just thinking..
02:34 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
wow, seems like tabulas is busy again just like the old days.. ^_^
just got home.
nothing much.
its still raining.
mom had her pre-bday celebration last sat. tito, tita and kuya's fiance went to celebrate with us.
my parents are pressuring me to get married too. and i dont even have a boyfriend!!! arg, annoying!!hehe
nini too is pressuring me for the same reason. kaylangan ba kasal kagad? hindi ba pwedeng boypren muna? haha...taeness, saket sa ulo..
haiii...
amm..ayun muna..got to go..
goodnight..
08:19 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
i know that trick so well...im a woman too...
oh, back off lady...
arg!!
{ 気分} jealous, pissed
11:15 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
i thought, today's gonna be a peaceful stormy day where i can just stay home for a change and expect that tomorrow's gonna be the same..
all wrong.sighs.
i need a good slap in the face. damn.
seems like im moving towards it...towards this big change..
jeez, money's talking in full volume and im just too broke to ignore the noise..
i do not know yet, but im thrilled, excited..and well, who knows...
i might just get there..
we'll see..baby, we'll see..
05:28 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
magiging tao na ko!!
...
oh yeah.. \m/
{ 気分} kinakabahan much
07:23 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
hey.
today, i decided to turn down an appraisal corp. because it was(and still is) raining and i dont feel like going to an interview with my clothes soaking wet. i really have a so-so interest in appraising stuff thou i think it cud be of help since i am actually planning(should i say dreaming?) of buying foreclosed properties as an investment soon and well, get rich thru it..yeah, im telling you, ive got BIG dreams..
had an online exam for another co. --a tragic change in career right there. been into 3 interviews so far. had an ol exam earlier (which i messed up, by the way) and another interview waiting..the thought of leaving my field still gives me a somewhat sad feeling, but i guess, i must try this first and then decide if i should stick to it. i can always go back naman if i feel like it..or can i? i dont know...im gonna find out..
really, i feel so adult talking about stuff like this. but then, im an "adult" in all sense now. i think i must embrace this fact. its still sad having to change..but then it sucks when u dont. arg, i dont know. im just feeling senti over the whole thing. people, including myself, getting old and having to leave behind our youth, the simplicity of our dreams, our innocence... pak. i dont know..this rainy season's making me unnecessarily emo.
4 days of being out-of-diet.. it seems like not only my family but even the whole neighborhood are having birthdays left and right. jeez...i think i still weigh fine, but this cant go on. bora trip's coming,, i cant look like a pig by then!!Oh heavens, please, enough birthdays, ok?
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sighs..my chest's hurting for quite some time...am i dying?
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tomorrow, i am suppose to meet the buyer of my ex-word. was able to sell it at my price. i hope all will go well. Yay!!this marks the first milestone of a future entrepreneur→me!!LOL.. my first sale. im so happy. im gonna be a few thousands of peso richer tomorrow(if all goes well)!!! thank you heavens..
本当にありがとう。。
**bows***
im gonna make it count.
08:38 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
nakakabitter 
12:10 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
its this sinking feeling again..
my life as it is hadnt been really moving well, and yet im allowing myself to feel unnecessary things..
sometimes, what hurts us the most we find really hard to talk about..
they say you shouldnt depend your happiness on people..but i guess it cant be helped sometimes.
we are humans..
we..
i, too am..
makes me sometimes wish that im something else.
maybe a fish.
or a bat.
or an alien..
i actually feel like one now..
sad.sad.sad.
{ 本} unenchanted
{ 気分} foreign
02:57 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
"Less is more. I’m on a mission to simplify life, to slow it down to a pace at which it can actually be consumed, not just tasted. I don’t want to hide behind the ubiquitous, “I’m really busy” as a badge of honor. I want a lower cost of living (not just financially) and a higher quality of life. I want to limit the number of [things] that compete for my attention so that I can apply more attention to those [things] I care the most about. Less is the new more."
by tim mauer
06:57 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
mom's birthday today.
bought a cake for her despite of the incredible need to reduce expenses. my current net worth suggests that i can only survive barely a month before i go completely broke. but im not really alarmed. weird...
last week was a series of interviews from different companies that lasted till saturday. next week's the extension of the series. thurday, ive got to pack my things and by fri, we're off to bora..on a rainy season..great right.
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june. month for weddings and bridal showers. in sunday all stars earlier, an actual proposal happened on the end of one of the team's performance. i must admit..jeez,it made me cry!!! haha.. i was never like this. i never find proposals as a tear jerker in any way before. WEIRD..signs of aging ba to? eeww..
what's next to 'i do' ba? sa totoo lang it never really bothered me before until my bro decided to get married. i just cant help but put myself in the girl's shoes. i think its gonna be tough for her having to leave her family behind, the life that she's used to behind, along with everything else. she'll have to go thru living with her in-laws (us) and living in a house that not solely her own. i dont think its gonna be easy for her. or at least, i think it wont.
well, it was/is not easy for my bro either. i mean, he's earning just enough. he's helping the family too(us) and getting married, having a wife and eventually having kids is not gonna be easy considering that he's not really earning that much. plus his wife-to-be is also unemployed. not to mention, his sister too(me). the parents of the girl and the girl herself do not agree to a civil wedding. so its gotta be a church wedding which requires an amount of money im well sure my brother cant afford. if i had been employed it would have been easier. but well, i wont be unemployed for so long of course (be positive..)..sighs..
my bro must really love the girl to make all these sacrifices. really, it still surprise me that my bro actually had that side of him..looks like love really exist after all.
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been watching my tita kanina. she's an ill-tempered unmarried woman. i wonder if she had been like that even when she's younger or was it her circumstances in life that turned her into that kind of person? i dont want to grow old unhappy. sabi nila, pwede ka parin naman daw maging masaya kahit nag-iisa ka. ganun nga kaya yon? pero basta, ayokong maging biktima ng circumstances ko sa buhay. i want to remain who i am and be what i want to become and be better, ano mang meron, ano mang wala.
siguro nga easier said than done, but im gonna do my best.
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a j-guy from my first co who's in phils right now is inviting me to dine with them since he'd be going back to japan na in july. he scheduled the date to be on june 29. ill be in bora by then, so ive got to say no. had i been available, i might have said yes.. sa totoo lang, medyo apprehensive at naja-jahe ako to meet them, lalo na nga at wala pa kong trabaho..pero yung prospect na makakain ulet sa sosyal na resto ay masyadong inviting para tanggihan..haha..ang PG(patay gutom) lang..
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had to cut my diet even though im not through with the 14-day program yet. all because its mom's birthday..hayy.. 4days left. i hope id lose enough weight to look stunning even though im just gonna wear a normal t-shirt and short on the beach/pool..hehe.. ok lang yan. im just gonna be with nep and tope. two boys na hindi ko kinoconsider as prospect.. haha.. pero sabi nga sa isang taiwanese na telenobela, ang babae daw dapat sinisigurado na lagi syang maganda dahil hindi nya alam kung kelan nya makikilala ang prince charming nya.
may point naman di ba?hehe.
anyway, here's mom..
i think she looks too young for 56. when we're together she can actually pass as my sister. only, we dont really look alike.
ok,so much for this,
じゃあ。
09:31 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
not a good week starter..pak.
kumain nlng tayo at kumanta ng lalalalala....
hayy..buhay.. =(
{ 気分} surrendering things to fate
06:02 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
isang kulang sa hulog n araw..wednesday muli bukas. maybe i just need 2 visit the chap. shit, ang hirap mgtype..nothing much 2day.. basta to sum it all, ang buhay q lately ay reflection ng isip q. magulo. magulong magulo.. wahhhh!!
gusto ko ng world peace =
(
{ 気分} dizzy
05:03 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
and so, it wasnt an innocent dinner after all =(
{ 気分} stupidity overload
10:51 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
pack up thurs..
it was almost 1am when i got home from yesterday's meet up. a former jap boss/client invited me for a dinner with a former colleague. said he'd be going back to jap for next month(july) kaya naisipan nyang manlibre. i really thought it was for old time's sake. an innocent dinner, despite of the colleague's speculation that maybe, they intend to ask me to come back. and in turn out na that's the real motive nga. sigh..
hindi ko rin alam kung anong problema ko..ewan ko..ang hirap magsulat.
if i will go back to my 1st co., paying the bills, debts and even going back to my old lifestyle will just be a piece of cake. but still i said no...
jeez...i deserve a slap in the face.
sighs...i wonder if old lovers feel this way when face to face with the decision of getting back together or not. feeling ko ginagawa ko lang komplikado ang buhay ko.
there is no problem without a gift for you in its hand. we seek problems because we needed its gift.
siguro nga.
10:32 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
and so,me , the pauper, managed to get herself to bora..
and im gonna make the most out of it.. 
yay!
04:25 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
storm signal no. 1 in aklan..agaw trip ang bagyong eto. better luck next time to parasailing. arg..
pero aus lang. its nice to have a different atmosphere other than the one u r used to..
jeez..the atmosphere and my tendency to be swept by it...watevr cinderella..(roll eyes)
im gonna get over this in a day or two. for now, l guess i have to endure(or is it enjoy?) yet another night..
goodnight..
{ 気分} giddy at humahighschool
02:55 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
got to b up by 3am. breakfast at 5 ,leave at 7,tapos,gudbye bora n.. i bet ds is exactly how cinderella felt when the clock strikes 12...
gonna b back 2 real world n..back to the reality that im jobless and broke and broken...
still, thank u bora and gudnyt..
{ 気分} sleeeeepy
12:15 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
