Entries for February, 2016
3:55am.
Hindi pa ko natutulog.
Ang sakit mo sa ulo at talaga namang nakakahilo ka, insomnia.
Pak this. Huhu.
03:59 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
ash wednesday today.
managed to catch the 6:30am mass half way through the sermon. it's been a while since i last had a wednesday mass.
the weekend's a bit fully booked. i hope that the v-day madness wont make the traffic too heavy.
--
2 days more.
i practiced my speech a few days back and realized that it's soooooooo boring.
if making a supposed interesting subject boring is a talent, i must be really really talented. jeez.
thought of making my 6th draft. kaso nakakatamad. i guess my fellow tm's and our would-be guests(if there will be any) will have to bear with me then. this is my first speech project after all. im not expected to sound like the best orator in the world, right? still, i wish i wont mess up so much. i wonder if i should just pursue with the 6th draft. takte to.. ang tahi tahimik na kasi ng buhay ko, bat ko ba ginugulo?
--
right now... i really dont have the energy and patience for anything else.
and with this, do i have to apologize?
09:39 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
スピーチは無事にできた。
本当によかった。
Done with bsp1. I was just so glad they seemed to like it. Felt a bit embarrassed when the evaluator asked everyone to stand up because I deserve a standing ovation daw. Iiiiiii! Haha. It took a lot of me not to ask each of them to sit down. Lol. Sort of won the majority votes for the best prepared speech too. Pero syempre, dalawa Lang naman kami e. Pero ang pinaka masaya sa lahat, crush commended me too!! Eeee!! Haha! Harot mo te, lol.
Gusto ko man magcelebrate dahil at least natapos na ang kaba ko e hindi parin pwede. Coz i agreed to have my bsp2 agad agad next week. kung bakit pinahihirapan ko ang sarili ko, hindi ko rin alam. Bahala na. Sana magawa ko ulet ng maayos. Crush will be giving his speech too next week. Kahet na Hindi ko alam how on earth can I write and memorize a speech before next Friday considering that I'm fully booked this weekend, sobrang naeexcite pa din ako. If I will get the majority votes again this time against crush... eeee! ang saya siguro. Pero bahala na.
And again, I need to remind myself n mukhang may boypren nga pala si crush. Oo, boypren. And yeah, lalaki si crush. Well, Hindi ko naman sya aagawin e..Pero, sheesh... di na talaga ko nagbago.
Ikr. But, whatebs.
01:40 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
2:27am.
My alarm clock will ring in less than 20mins.
Huhu. Pak this T_T
02:29 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Didn't sleep at all last night.
It's 9:55 and I'm no where near drifting off.
Will people die if they don't sleep 2 days in a row?
I tried not sleeping for 4 days straight and I lived. So maybe I'm gonna be fine.
A lot of things have been making me feel so bad lately. My eyes hurt from too much crying already.
10:12 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Was at fms a while ago.
Been feeling off for the past couple of days and I think I went to the right place. Perhaps the Heavens would sometimes allow you to be broken just so He can restore you...
Jan sang "just the way you are" and "God gave me you"
Dati umay na umay n ko sa kantang to dahil s aldub, but Jan gave it a whole new vibe. Parang vday Lang ulet.haha. jeez, that Jan. I really like this guy...
---
Dead sleepy. My eyes are tearing up not from crying but from excessive yawning. I wish I can sleep tonight. I need to finalize my speech tomorrow. Its hard to write when you're feeling groggy due to lack of sleep.
Approximately 2 hours before I reach home. Sleep will have enough time to catch up. Please pray for me. Di madala sa pakiusapan ang insomnia na to, kailangan ko na ng pray over.
10:31 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
"you're not expected to do it good the first time."
but what if you did? will you be expected to do better the second time?
i think i dont really much care.
i just want to have it get over with without me messing up big time.
arg.
took a leave to finish my bsp2. it wasnt good. ayoko syang ideliver ng ganun. im on my way writing my 2nd draft. and yes, tomorrow na yung speech ko. pwedeng mag sakit sakitan??? huhu.
sighs...
----
another zero hour sleep. its been a while since i had an insomnia as bad as this one. an increased dose of melatonin is not doing the trick. as usual, im just living with it. jeez... what's wrong with me?
but sleep is not my top priority right now...
Gawd.. i need to finish this speech.
Heavens.. help me..huhu
10:35 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
sighs...
but, nah.. im giving this a rest.
...
...
agreed to be the table topics master next week.
finished writing the topics. i love the outcome. they're all outrageous. i wish the tm's and guests will enjoy participating or if not, listening to the participants.
i guess the real problem comes with fascilitating the rest of the tt portion. siguro kung tagalog lang to, hindi naman ako kakabahan. but whatebs...
what cant kill you will make you stronger daw. amen to that.
sa totoo lang, feeling ko, my week only starts when it's friday na.. tas feeling ko twing friday, saturday at sunday lang ako buhay tas the rest of the week, isa akong zombie. ewan.
sighs..
but im not in the mood to be all emo.
i want to fix what can be fixed. if it cant be fixed, then move on into fixing something else.
i wonder if ive been spending too much of my life fixing instead of building things...
...
was at fba yesterday. too bad i wasnt able to watch the presidential debate.. : (
we also attended the gig. i loved the talk..
ive been having this little dream for some time...
that maybe one day, ill be the one giving the talk instead.
i remember gab saying "i think we have an inspirational speaker right here." referring to me last fri.
for some reason, it sounded off.. idk..
if not an inspirational speaker... then what kind of speaker do i want to become??
jeez.. i have no idea..
pero siguro saka ko na pro-problemahin to.
..
ok, ciao for now.
03:39 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
trying not to feel so bad that it's a monday.
hindi ko na alam kung anong tumbling ba gagawin ko para maayos na prob ng customer na to. Lord... kailangan ko na po ng Divine intervention.. huhu.
i dont want to start my week with negativity... but being positive right now is really a hard labor.
Oh, help me God...
07:10 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
