Entries for June, 2022
I just had an iced hazelnut mocha drink, and I feel like I'm being punched in the gut.
Know what, I really love coffee. I'd drink that everyday if it wasn't for GERD. Gah, I wonder if I'll need to go to the nearest doc to get a buscopan shot. Baking soda should've been a healthier option, but I left my stash at home. Damn, GERD.
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Life is super smooth as ever.
My officemates are nice. Pay is good. Work is easy. Even the commute has gotten so much easier since my bus stops right accross our office building.
There's still that growing dissatisfaction, but I'm still grateful.
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Got plans to have spa date with my TM girls next week. We haven't told one of the girls na hubaran don. Mel said we should break it to her gently. Lol.
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I've always been in a hurry since RTO. Mahaba ang byahe. I'd want to get home as early as possible. That's why I find it nice pag nakakasabay kong umuwi yung batang yun from pdt. He said he's a law student, so parang secured na yung morning shift para sa kanya.
I'm still not comfortable talking to anyone else though.
I wonder when will the club open for f2f meeting. And kung kaya ko bang umattend considering na may pasok ako on weekends. I wonder how I managed to have a social life before pandemic. Parang ang konti konti ng oras when I commute.
02:09 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Slept past 11 from reading BL. Feeling too sleepy, I allowed myself a few sips of cappucino from the office vendo. My stomach is hurting just a bit, but at least it reduced the sleepiness. I used to have less sleep than this.
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Read some of the winning works in Palanca. Mejo inantok ako sa iba, until I found this one. This is the 3rd placer on 2017. I loved the story so much, I looked up on the author on Facebook. Hahaha.
I remember once upon a time, someone also looked up on my profile in FB after reading some contest entry I've won more than a decade ago. The dude asked if I'm now a writer. I wished to tell him that I'm still so much cooler eventhough I'm not, but I settled into saying it as is.
Keri lang. Don't really care much. Still, I want to win again and have someone looking up my profile in FB after reading my works. After reading "Don't Blink", I felt like the entry I've sent still had a super long way to go. For all I know I could've been disqualified because my entry form was not notarized. I'll just join again and become a hall of famer. Kaya ko yun!
09:32 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
12:51AM, gising pa ko.
Will be meeting the girls 6PM. A little earlier with Mel at 5:30. We'll be spending 12 hrs sa spa, so I told my parents na sa Thursday na ko uuwi. Hectic din since nagpa sched ako ng nueter for one of my cats mamayang 8AM.
Anu ba, gising pa ko. Huhu.
Mel plans to go ice skating tomorrow. I'd rather go home and take care of my then newly neutered cat. I also feel homesick just thinking that I won't be sleeping on my own bed tonight.
Pero di ba, hindi naman pwedeng ganito ako lagi. I need to go out.
01:00 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Back to work, alright.
Yesterday, my whole body hurt, I found it hard to get up from the bed. Grabe yung massage dun sa spa. Mapanakit. Still want to go back there though. Officemate and I are planning to go back, maybe by the end of next month. I loved the jacuzzi and herbal bath.
Convo with friends revolved mostly about love, trauma, and undergarments. It was really funny, I had a good laugh. I'm glad we went there.
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I still can't seem to shake this dissatisfaction. I want to do something about it.
Spent the day yesterday reading BL and playing with neice and nephew. I need to tone down my spending as Mel and I are planning to push through with the Korean trip by November. Of course, I'll be bringing my parents along. Of course, I'm going to pay. I need to save. Big time.
10:33 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
It's barely 2 months since RTO started and I already bought 5 lipsticks. Before Pandemic, I think I got about 12.
Jeez, should stop this.
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Will be going back to work tomorrow. I feel like my rest days had just passed me by, I didn't even feel it.
I want more sleep.
07:19 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Another death from someone I know in Toastmasters. Parang kamamatay lang rin ng kakilala ko from another club just weeks back. It's sad and scary. Death.
I went on SL today as I injured my feet last night. I was drying my glass lunch box when it slipped from my hand and landed on my feet, shattering broken glasses around me. By the time I noticed, my feet were already bleeding.
I managed to sleep longer and even had an afternoon nap today.
I haven't been feeling well these days. I think it's really convenient to become a woman, because when you feel a little suicidal, you can always blame it on PMS.
I'm trying not to think too much. BL manga used to keep me sane. It's probably still keeping me sane. I just feel a little... I don't really have a word for this feeling.
One of the earliest poems I've read when I was young (about 8, I guess) was about death. The words were painfully beautiful, I remember wanting to write like that.
Isn't it odd how humans are drawn to glum things like death and unrequited love? Surely, there's some inexplicable beauty in them, but isn't it about time for you to outgrow all these already, Z?
Nah... I really shouldn't think too much.
11:35 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
