Entries for May, 2020



Random 9AM thoughts
日曜日: May 3, 2020



Past 12mn, "lunch" ko at work. Dahil madaling araw at wala naman tao sa baba ng bahay namin,  ang daming ipis sa dining table. Keber lang. Ang kulit lang nung isang ipis kasi kahit takutin ko sya papalayo, maya maya, bumabalik sya ulet.

Sinubukan nya matago sa likod ng kaldero habang gumagapang sa pantakip ng pagkain. Akala nya yata, di ko sya nakita. Naglapag ako ng dalawang butil ng kanin sa tabi nya, tas dali dali syang lumapit sa kanin at kinain yun na parang gutom na tuta.

Nalulungkot ako. Pag dumami sila ulet, malamang, iisprayan sila ni Mama ng Baygon. Naiintidihan ko naman. Pwede nga naman kami magkasakit dahil sa kanila... pero kasi... ewan ko. Kasalanan ba nila yun?

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Sunday pala ngayon. Feeling ko Monday. Kababalik ko lang sa work kahapon after ng "weekend" ko. Sa Monday, 6PM-3AM na ang sched ko. Iniisip ko kung makakatakas pa ba ako sa night shift. Kung tutuusin, ok lang naman.

Nakakastress lang yung internet connection ko. Nakakahiya talaga sa user na minsan sa kalagitnaan ng call e nadidisconnect yung mga tool kaya kailangan ko mag call back. Takte, pagnag restart ako ng PC, mabilis na pag napagana ko yung tools ko ng 30 minutes. Bumibilis lang ang internet ng mga 1AM. Takte, mas maaga na pasok ko ngayon, so, good luck. Iniisip ko nga kung mag leave nalang muna ko hanggang hindi pa ko nakakahanap ng maayos na internet. Pero takte, I need money, so I need to suck it up.

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Gusto ko na yumaman.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:01 AM.

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Blanca
水曜日: May 6, 2020



3:46PM. At 11 past 3, nag message ako sa GC na out na ko, yet continued to work on my backlogs until finished. Parang ganadong ganado akong mag trabaho today at may pakanta kanta pa ko tuwing avail. Takte, kahapon lang pikon na pikon ako sa buhay ko at parang handa na kong maghamon ng away.

Kopiko Blanca.

Ito lang talaga ang naiisip kong dahilan. Ilang araw na kasi magmula ng maubos ang supply namin ng Milo kaya araw araw antok na antok ako kahit 7-8 hours akong natutulog. Ngayon with coffee, takte, buhay na buhay ang diwa ko, Friend.

Paano kaya ako natutulog nito? 

Ginawa kong iced coffee yung 2 sachet ng kopiko blanca. Hindi masarap, lasang mura. Pero takte, mag iinarte pa ba ko? Gusto ko ng Milo. Hindi rin masarap, pero better. Bakit walang supply ng cocoa? Mura lang din naman ang cocoa tablea, pero bat lasang first class. Sighs. Ok lang din. Naaalala ko ang lasa ng mamahaling kape, pero hindi ko naman talaga hinahanap hanap.

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3rd party observer sa isang officemate kong parang laging pasan ang daigdig. Nothing personal. I'm just a fully-detached observer. Wala lang. Ang baba kasi ng tolerance ko sa drama kaya hindi ko magawang maki emphatize sa taong to. Tas pag may pumapatol sa ka dramahan nya na mas madrama pa, umay na umay ako. Hahaha. Siguro totoong wala akong puso. Lol.

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Ang dilim pa. Dapat natutulog na ko ngayon para pwede akong sumabay sa lunch and still have 8 hours sleep. Nagugutom ako.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:03 AM.

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Atsui
水曜日: May 6, 2020



Ansakit ng ulo ko ngayon. Ayoko sana pumasok, nahihiya lang ako magpa alam dahil nag absent na ko last week. Isang kembot nalang naman at "weekend" ko na.

Juice colored. Napaka init sa Pilipinas. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:35 PM.

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Okanemochi ni naritai
木曜日: May 7, 2020



Ang sabaw ng mga calls ko kagabi. Well, ang sabaw naman talaga ng halos lahat ng mga calls ko. That was why when one of our TLs sent me an IM on messenger, I seriously thought na sasabihin nyang matatanggal na ko sa trabaho.

I am grateful for this job. I really am. I am well paid and this enables me to give a better life to my parents. I'm really happy.

Mabait ang mga kasama ko sa trabaho.

Mababait din ang mga boss ko.

Yung mga sinusupport namin, mga 90% naman sa kanila, mababait din.

May work place now is literally right next to my bed. I get 7 to 8 hours sleep.

Ok naman e.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit nararamdaman ko parin na araw araw kailangan kong pilitin yung sarili ko na pumasok.

Gaano karaming pera ba ang kailangan ko para hindi ko na kailangang mag trabaho? Ewan ko.

Siguro gusto ko lang ulet ma feel na magaling ako sa ginagawa ko.

At siguro, hindi naman pag alis sa trabaho ang solusyon palagi sa ganitong damdamin.

Siguro din, hindi naman dapat na feelings mo lang ang basehan mo sa mga desisyon mo sa buhay. Takte, kung lahat ng feelings ko e sinunod ko, ni hindi siguro ako nakatapos ng pag-aaral.

My brother is on a no work no pay basis. He has work only a few days a week. He has 2 small kids- 1 is a 5-yo,  1 is a few days old. Once the ECQ is lifted, my brother's company will make them start working. He plans to go to work by then even if it means he'll need to risk getting the virus and passing it to his family. Sana parehas kaming yumaman ng kapatid ko para hindi na namin kailangang pilitin ang sarili namin na magtrabaho, at parehas namin mabigyan ang family namin ng magandang buhay.

Sa tingin ko, hindi healthy para sa tao ang walang trabaho. I want to to quit working not to stop working altogether, kundi para magkaron ako ng liberty to choose the work that I do.

Sabi nila kaya maraming Baby Boomers na tumandang mayayaman dahil wala sa generation nila yung YOLO mentality. Nagtrabaho sila knowing na kailangan nilang gawin yun, hindi tulad ng generation natin na nagtatanong pa ng "masaya ba ko sa ginagawa ko?"

I've been a little idealistic mula pa nung bata. Kaya siguro hindi naging smooth lahat for me. Pero ok lang naman. I remember being so scared about the decisions I've made then, but I'm glad that I've kept going kahit na takot na takot pa ko.

I don't think I'm scared now though. I wonder if I'm missing an essential ingredient to success with that.

But then, maybe not.

Sighs... gusto ko na yumaman.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:01 AM.

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Doko ni mo ikitakunai
金曜日: May 8, 2020



Parents left home to the baranggay hall to get my quarantine pass. They asked the baranggay secretary to issue one for me since Mom, the quarantine pass holder in our household, doesn't know how to withdraw money from atm machine. Pumayag yung sec. Pwede na ko lumabas.

Teka, sino ba may sabing gusto ko lumabas?

The last time I went out during quarantine, I went to the market by foot. Nagpaltos ako, Bes. Pano kaya pag nag withdraw ako mamaya? Putek, ang ineeeeet.

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Spent my day yesterday in my parents room. Dun lang kasi may aircon. Every time na lumalabas ako ng kwarto nila, para akong piniprito. Nung gabi, dun na rin ako natulog. Nanginig naman ako sa ginaw. Lol. Buti today, hindi na ganun kainit. Or maybe, hindi pa. Gusto ko ng ice scream.

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It's been the longest that I haven't left home. Sinubukan kong alalahanin kung paano nga ulet mag commute papuntang opisina. Parang nakalimutan ko na kasi.

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Today still, gusto ko nang yumaman. Mayaman enough to have a choice.

Yun lang naman.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:45 AM.

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Hima dakedo chou tsukarete iru
: May 10, 2020



Dragged myself to work last night with an internal dialog that went like, "Jusko, ayoko pumasok."

And as if the Universe answered, a few minutes after I logged in, biglang umulan. Mayamaya, biglang nag brown out.

I can't always be like this, can I?

I know, I can't lose this job, I might as well find a way to love it.

Paano ba, Lord?

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Watching Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo. Few eps away from the final ep. Ang cute lang. Tamang nakakakilig.

I haven't been checking my newsfeed so much these days. Umay na umay na kasi ako. Ni hindi na ko nag che check ng news. Nanonood nalang ako lagi ng K-drama. Ano ano na ba ang kaganapan sa daigdig? Sa Pilipinas? 

Erm, probinsya na ba tayo ng China?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 06:49 AM.

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Seiri
: May 10, 2020



Red alert Day1.

Ang sakit ng tiyan ko. I was never a fan of liniment. The last time I regularly used Omega Pain Killer was back in highschool when I was training to become a Cadette Officer. I don't know why I'm becoming less tolerant of pain as time goes by.

I don't know how I'd work later while feeling this hammering pain in my lower abdomen. This is one of the reasons why I hate being an employee. Giving your reason why you can't go to work will always feel like an excuse. Maybe because, it partly is.

Do you hate having to explain yourself too? Pero siguro, kung ishi-shift natin ang perspective natin, maybe explaining is also a gift. Some people were not even given the chance to. They were just shot dead.

Which goes back with me wondering why a lot of people supports Duterte when he's murderous.

Dito sa lugar namin, may apat daw na magkakahiwalay na insidente ng pagpatay. Drug- related daw. Tuloy parin pala ang EJK sa kabila ng pandemic. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:59 AM.

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Seiri 2
: May 10, 2020



3:36PM na ansakit parin ng tiyan ko. Will need to start preparing for work around 4pm. Shift starts at 6. Alangan namang mag message ako sa crush ko na, "TL, sorry po, absent muna ko. May regla po ako."

My gawd! I kenat! T_T

Sighssss. Oh sya, papasok na.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:42 PM.

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Chikara wo kashite kurenai ka
火曜日: May 11, 2020



Sabi nung relationship coach, kung single at ready to mingle ka at gusto mo i-improve ang chance mo sa gitna ng pandemic, maging curious ka daw. 

Ang instruction e check out the friends of your fb friends tas hanap ka ng tao dun who will pique your interest then send him/her a message about your common interest. Wag haluan ng expectations. Just be interested. Ganern.

I-checheck ko sana friends list ng kaibigan kong adventurous. Kaso naisip ko, ba't pa ko lalayo?

Mula pagkabata, motto ko talaga sa buhay yung "aim high". Kaya ayun, nag DM ako kay Chris Evans sa IG. Ehehe.

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Monday na. Malamang dagsa na naman ang calls sa shift ko mamaya. Sige lang. Bring it on. May battle plan na ko kung paano ko matututunang mahalin ang trabaho ko... or at least magustuhan man lang.

Sa tingin ko, ang passion e byproduct ng excellence, not the other way around. Struggle muna, tas get better, tas passion. Parang yung love ko sa Engineering Mechanics. Mahirap muna nung una. Tas pagtapos ng struggle, naging magaling na ko. Tas hanggang sa ayan, naging passion ko na.

Hindi ko ma imagine kung paano mangyayari yun sa trabaho kong ito, pero pwede naman sigurong subukan. Oh sya, let's do this!



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:32 PM.

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Inka
火曜日: May 12, 2020



I've found a girl inspiration in fb who refreshed my motivation on what to do with my life.

The girl's a VO, and boy, ang galing nya. I love her personality too. Sexy pero hindi perfect Barbie doll type. May piercing sya sa nose at tattoo all over like a rebellious teenager, but she seems very sweet to her mom (who's very pretty and just as talented by the way). When I look at this girl, I feel like she oozes with so much freedom and very less care about other people's opinion of her. I want to be like this person. Magaling sa ginagawa nya. Confident. Carefree.

I don't hate myself now. I may not be pleasant all the time, but I think I'm actually kind. Yes, I'm pretty lazy, but I'm always trying. Over the years, natutunan ko naman na ma appreciate yung sarili ko.

Pero kahit ganun, I want to develop a self-brand that my future self will thank me for. 

Extended ba ang ECQ? I want to have more time for this.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:33 PM.

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Wednesday
水曜日: May 13, 2020



He's pure evil, this president. And I can't understand why people are still clapping. Lantaran na tayong binabalahura, pak dis, pinagtatanggol nyo parin. Ang hayop nya, sobrang hayop nya. Pak dis talaga. 

Sighs.... anong gagawin natin?

People who are standing up against his panggagago are being shamed by die-hard supporters saying puro kayo kuda, hindi kayo nakakatulong, manahimik nalang kayo, sumunod nalang kayo. Damn you all. You're witnessing all his evil deeds and you are still choosing to stand with him?

This is exhausting. Hands up na ko. I'm just scared, you know. Because this is how Hitler fucked up Germany. Are we facing the same fate? OA ba? Pak dis, sinabihan nyo rin na OA those peope who were making a fuss about coronavirus few months ago. Ano tayo ngayon? 

Ewan ko. Sabi nila, pwede rin naman na ang maulit e yung nangyari kay Marcos. He was kicked out and replaced by a widow. They have tainted our new widow's reputation with fake news. But the pandemic has revealed her true character. That woman. I feel like she's our only hope. But I don't know.

Ang hirap kumalma these days. Hindi na nga ko nanonood ng news at halos di na nagfe Facebook. 

Sabi sa book na binabasa ko, if you are feeling good, you will be filled with good experiences. This can be a little harder these days. 

I've been listening to the Feast Worship recently. Instant mood shifter talaga. Sa ganitong paraan ako mabilis na kumakalma.

Last working day for the week today, tapos weekend ko na. GCQ na sa Bulacan on 16th. Siguro tuloy parin ang WFH setup sa office bilang sa QC ang building namin at naka MECQ pa sila.

Mag didisinfect sa baranggay namin maya maya. 2 days kaming di pwedeng lumabas kasi pwede daw maka iritate ng skin. Need din mag sara ng bintana. Takte, ang init.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:35 PM.

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Love and hate
木曜日: May 14, 2020



I wrapped up my workweek 12 hours ago.

Our new tool at work has a Japanese chat feature na nung Monday ko lang napapansin ang existence. Since then, kakaba kaba na akong pumapasok sa trabaho. Ang tagal na kasi mula ng huli akong magsupport ng Japanese. Napasign of cross pa ko bago mag bukas ng pc kahapon. Lol.

2 calls for a 6PM to 4AM shift. This is the lowest number of calls I got on a weekday na night shift. Nakakakaba tuloy. 

Kung tutuusin, hiring pa ang company namin for Japanese speakers sa ibang account. I have friends who are waiting for me to resign para mairefer ako sa company nila, probably for the referral fee. I'm still getting texts and emails from employers who saw my profile in Jobstreet. Siguro, kahit papano, may mapupuntahan naman ako sakali mang bitawan kami ng kliyente.

Pero kasi... gusto ko di to.

Ang gulo no? Andun yung feeling na ayoko pumasok, pero ayoko rin naman umalis. Sana ma secure na ng account namin ang contract sa client. I really like the people here. I wish we can all stay.

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Was watching Eat Bulaga's replay of Bawal Ang Judgemental. Pinapahulaan kung sino sa mga tao na nandun ang nagkaron na ng Girfriend AT Boyfriend. Wala lang. Ang charming nung iba e. At lahat sila, gf ang nauna bago ang boyfriend. I remember I once asked a gay friend if posible bang ang isang bakla e magising nalang isang araw at marealize nya na gusto na nya ng babae. Sabi nya hindi daw.

Ang daming gwapong bading no? Tas yung iba ang sweet pa. Kaya yun. Pero ok lang din naman. Naisip ko lang si D. I'm pretty sure he's not gay. He doesn't have to be vain like gay guys though, to look good, kasi natural na ata sa kanya yun. The last time I saw him prior the lock down, I've noticed the gray strands sticking out sa buhok nya. Ni hindi nya man lang kinapangit.

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Rest day ko today and tomorrow. I'd probably binge watch krama again. Wow, I'm so productive. Sighs.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:50 PM.

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Beauty in gloom
金曜日: May 15, 2020



Intended to finish another kdrama this "weekend", but ended up sleeping for 10hrs straight. My back hurts.

It's a beautiful cloudy morning. I'm hoping for a little rain. I love rain.

Parents are about to leave to withdraw money from their mini business. I haven't been really good to them lately. There're just the three of us at home, to whom will I throw my temper to?

I think I should be kinder.

Someone said na coronavirus is here to stay na and we just need to learn how to live with it. I feel neutral about this. Sabi nila, lahat daw ng bagay ay nangyayari for the greater good. Maybe this is for the greater good. Hindi ko rin naman talaga alam.

People can become nasty when they're afraid. I am afraid.

Or, well, maybe I'm just nasty.

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Uy, it's raining na.

Ang ganda ganda talaga ng ulan.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:53 AM.

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Ambo
金曜日: May 15, 2020



I asked for a little rain. The Heavens gave me a storm.

Brownout. Lakas ng hangin. Binitbit ko yung kama ko sa kwarto ng parents ko dahil ang scary ng bagyo. Mom is way more scared than I am and this is not making me a little less scared. Well at least I'm not alone in fear. I can't believe that Dad is already snoring amidst all these.

Alis ka na, Ambo. Please bring COVID-19 with you.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:55 PM.

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52
土曜日: May 16, 2020



Past 12mn na nung bumalik ang kuryente. Humupa na ang bagyo. Balik na naman ang alinsangan ng panahon, at nagbago ang isip ng aming local government at pinromote muli kami sa mecq last minute bago ang supposed  transition namin sa gcq.

Parang walang patutunguhan ang 2020.

Got the announcement kagabi sa bagong set of officers sa club. One of my ladies was elected for the highest position and they were like ako na daw susunod. For the past 3 years I've been dodging that position like a plague. This year, I went as far as postponing my membership renewal just to make sure I won't get elected. I feel like they still don't get it.

With this, all my friends are either a past president or a current president na. Normal lang siguro na hindi nila ma gets why I don't want it. Ako nga rin, hindi ko gets. Lol.

Last night, Ivan was asking if I'll renew na, now that the new officers have been announced. I hate explaining my shit, and I feel like these people keep on making me feel like I have to explain my shit. This is making me feel all the more wanting to extract myself off their circle. Maybe they mean well. Siguro mawawala rin tong feeling na to pag humupa na yung irita feeling na nararamdaman ko.

Sighs. Parang walang dereksyon ang buhay.

Siguro ang priority lang naman talaga natin dapat sa panahon na to e keeping ourselves alive.

Ewan.

I want to find a way to feel more alive these days.

I've been on full defensive mode. Naiirita ko sa lahat ng kumakausap sakin kahit online lang. The very few times na pumatol ako sa simpleng kamustahan, nairita lang rin ako. Maybe they didn't mean it that way pero feeling ko kasi tunuturuan nila ko kung paano ako dapat mabuhay. I hate that. I really hate that. 

Pero sa kabila ng di matapos tapos na rebulusyon sa isip ko, thankful parin ako na ok kaming lahat.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:24 PM.

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211
水曜日: May 20, 2020



Club anniv next week. People no longer bother me as they used to. Maybe they've gotten used to my absence already.

TL sent me a message last night asking if I'm ok with 12nn to 9pm shift. We're having more and more  Japanese chats these days and the morning people need backup. Though I said yes, sabi ni TL di pa naman daw sure. Were having fewer calls at night. Baka matuloy na ang earlier work shift ko next week. Bahala na. Nakakataranta kasi mag Japanese support. Iniisip ko nalang, I have a workmate who can't read so much kanji pero nagsurvive naman. I can read about 1000 (or lessss haha). Kaya ko rin naman siguro to. Marami rin naman pwede tanungan sa umaga.

Wala pa pala akong 1 year sa trabahong to no? Nakakatuwa na kahit paano, I feel comfortable around them na parang matagal ko na silang kakilala.

1 more day at off ko na. I usually spend my days off sleeping, but recently, binigyan kami ng pusa ng kapitbahay, so I'd probably play with the cat. I still think I'm more of a dog person, but I love our cat. Nung 1st day nya rito, ilang oras syang nagtago sa ref. Day 2, nahihiya hiya parin sya. Pero ngayon, takte, sobrang kulet na. Pero sobrang sweet din. He knows where he should do his business kaya hindi sya mahirap alagaan. Naawa lang ako sa mga alaga kong ipis. Mas mabilis nyang naubos ang mga ipis sa bahay kesa sa Baygon.

Ang dalas ng pag-ulan nitong mga nakaraang araw. Naalala ko na ang confront food ko twing tag-ulan e tocino. Dahil hindi na ko kumakain ng karne, hindi ko na alam kung ano pang comfort food ko. Siguro ice cream. Sawang sawa na ko sa hipon. Allergic pa ko sa itlog. Hayy, na miss ko bigla yung Bodhi. Gusto ko rin ng sushi. Ang sarap at ang lalaki ng sushi sa Taiwan. Ang daming choices tas sobrang mura pa. Mas masarap ng very slight ang sushi sa Genki Sushi, pero takte, naka over 1k ka na hindi ka pa busog. Gusto ko ng miso soup at unli cabbage na may goma dressing sa Yabu. Pagkain lang yata ang namiss ko sa labas. Gusto ko ng sushi.T_T

Mom named our cat Jiufen. It's one of the places we went to in Taiwan. Mom loved that place. I'm glad we pushed through with our trip. My parents' eyes always light up in delight every time they talk about it. Kung iba ang sitwasyon ngayon, I would've brought them to Korea sana. Sana pwede na next year. Sana kompleto at healthy parin ang buong pamilya ko by then. Yun lang talaga ang pinaka mahalaga.

I expressed my interest sa program na planong i-launch ng relationship coach na fina follow ko sa facebook. This program is for single people daw. Sa totoo lang, lovelife ang least of concerns ko sa mga panahon na to. Pero naisip ko lang na if I want to get married, maybe in 3 years time, dapat ngayon palang nagpe prepare na ko. Also, I see flirting as an important tool. More like a weapon you can use in any battlefield. Parang sa Art of Seduction. Excited na kong matuto kay Coach.

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May nakita akong meme. Ansabi kaya daw pala heal as one e dahil bahala ka mag heal mag-isa mo. Lol.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:10 PM.

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Cinderella
土曜日: May 23, 2020



12:01mn. 1 minute past Cinderella's curfew.

In 12 hours, I'll start with my new work shift. Mejo nakakakaba.

I just finished watching Howl's Moving Castle. It's the first Studio Ghibli film na napanood ko na merong clear happy ending. Found a Japanese version with English subs. I think this is the closest I can get with my Japanese language studies.

Around 12 hrs back, I woke up in my brother's message about my nephew's newborn screening results. Our baby boy got an "out of normal range" in one of the tests. I've researched what it meant. Sabi, no cure. Need na ng support for life. May lead to anaemia. They'll be seeing the doctor tomorrow. I know it could be worse. Pero sana parin, mali lang ang test. Sana ok parin si Kyler.

Also found out that a friend have tested positive in COVID. I feel so sorry for her, specially for her children. Wala naman daw syang nararamdaman, well, aside from emotional distress, that is. Ang hirap ng panahon na ito. Sobra. I feel sorry. I feel scared. It's hard to feel so many things at the same time.

Hindi ko ni lu look forward ang pasok ko bukas ( technically, mamaya). Nasanay na rin ako na tulog sa umaga at gising sa gabi. Kinakabahan din ako dahil hindi ako familiar sa process ng Japanese users since I've had very few of them sa night shift. Alam ko, marami pang tao na may mas malaking problema kesa sakin.

Sa mga panahon na hindi ako natatakot o nag-aalala, nararamdaman ko rin naman yung gratitude. Alam ko naman na kahit maraming hindi magagandang nangyayari, naa outweigh parin ng good things ang mga bad things sa buhay ko. Siguro kailangan ko lang talagang matutunang kumalma.

My friend said COVID testing costed her 8k for the 1st test. She needs to undergo 2 more tests na dapat mag negative na this time, to get cleared. That will be 24k pesos for all 3 tests. Iniisip ko tuloy kung may sapat ba kong pera pag may nagkasakit samin.

Hindi na ko aabsent ulet. Kailangang makaipon.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:32 AM.

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Mga pang araw araw na buhay
木曜日: May 28, 2020



Mga bagay na natutunan ko nitong mga nakaraang araw:

1. Hindi nababawasan ang inis sa pag express ng galit, ie. pagsuntok sa pader o pagbato ng mga bagay bagay. Kalma. Hinga.

2. Pag upset ka, or nalulungkot, gumawa ka ng bagay na makakapagpasaya sa iba.

3. Minsan, try mo rin maghugas ng plato.

The week started on my new shift high, tas nag fluctuate na high and low through out the week. Ang daming mga araw na upset ako, kinailangan kong mas madalas na makinig ng Feast Worship. Napahugas din ako ng plato to shift perspective. Effective naman. Nag sneezing fiesta lang ako ng very slight at nagkaron ng konting butlig butlig sa kamay, pero keri lang. Worth the allergies. 

Natapos ang week na ok naman ako. Mas kalmado na.

Kung tutuusin, relatively petiks ang morning shift. Mostly naging maayos naman ang mga encounters ko sa users na sinupport ko. Kahit petiks, sinisikap ko parin gawin yung best ko. That's why the pagod is still there.

Off ko ngayon. There's that perpetual need to stay away from other human beings except my family and a few friends. Those that never demand so much. Ang dami ding crappy stuff sa social media so eto, sayang ang 1GB per day promo ng Globe. Maka nood nga ng Ghibli movie mamaya.

Parang ang daming gastusin these days. Anlaki pa ng bawas sa sahod ko sa isang araw na umabsent ako. Damang dama, mapapa aray ka. Hinding hindi na talaga ako aabsent.

Kung tutuusin, sobrang laki ang natitipid ko ngayong quarantine.

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I love the feel of my facial skin today. Last night, oil cleansing, facial massage, soap, scrub, facial yoga, toner, serum, mask, eye cream, moisturizer, sunblock. Dapat may essence pa yan, kasa wala ako mahanap. Wala naman pinapagandahan at madalas pagod ako after work so natutulog lang ako kagad at wala ng routine routine. Ngayon ko nalang ulit nagawa yan dahil wala akong pasok the following day.

Tingin ko pwede naman palang alagaan ng sarili not because you want to look good for someone else, kundi para sa sarili mo lang. Try ko tong gawin araw araw. I'm not expecting any dramatic change since malaki talaga ng pores ko naturally. Even my beautiful mom, malaki rin ng pores. Pero ok lang. Basta clear ang glowing. Ngayon, pinipigilan ko munang mag online shop ng beauty products. Mag iipon muna ko for emergency. Gusto ko rin makabili ulet ng stocks pag may sapat na ipon na ko.

Thankful ako sa lahat ng pera at blessings na meron ako ngayon. Salamat, Universe. Pengi pa ng mas maraming marami pa. Hehe. Gusto ko nang yumaman e. Thank you!

Next week, 1 week kaming may training. Kahit off ko, need parin pumasok. Ok lang, iwas labas, iwas gastos. Tsaka kailangan ko rin to. Para hindi ako nangangamote sa trabaho.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:19 PM.

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Cruel
金曜日: May 29, 2020



Club anniversary's online celebration tonight. 

I haven't decided yet if I'm gonna go. I haven't read any messages, even those that I was tagged to. I don't want additional work. I don't want additional stress. I don't want to hear any more demands. I know this is a position I swore upon. A task I promised to do, but who cares.

Am I cruel? Well, it's not like they can't do this without me, you know. I just find them so exhausting, I can't bear having to give in to any more of their demands anymore. Lol, I know they might not even be demanding of anything right now. I wouldn't know. I haven't read the messagages. But still.

Normally, I think I'm so much more responsible than this.

Also, some of my friends will be there. And the new president is also my friend.... pero...

Have you ever felt like this, repulsed at the thought of having to deal with certain people again?

----

Sa kabila ng lahat, marami paring magandang bagay na nangyayari.

A friend who tested positive in COVID has tested negative twice na, so she's cleared. Ang bait ng Langit!

Also, ang sarap nung carbonara na inorder namin kahapon. Hehe.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:47 AM.

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TLDT
金曜日: May 29, 2020



Namiss ko bigla this guy who said pwede daw magtanong kahit busy.

Tas di magrereply. Lol.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:56 PM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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