Entries for August, 2021
Hello August!
I finished Naruto Shippuuden last night. That's more than a month worth of living in shinobi world. 720 episodes +some of the OVAs and movies.
Okay, now what? Lol.
Ongoing pa ang My Hero Academia, and I also started watching Hiromiya.
Alam ko naman. Hindi productive. Marami sigurong pwedeng gawin ang taong tulad ko sa panahon ngayon na I can't really go out, and have so much more time that usual. Ano ba gagawin ko?
Started working out ulet. Just today lang. I've lost about 2 kilos these past days kahit di naman ako nag da diet. My stomach was acting weird. Probably because I ate mint candies 3 months past its expiration. Lol. I've gained 6 kilos for the past 2 years of this pandemic, so 2 less kilos doesn't really look that obvious.
Tapos?
Ewan ko. Ano bang goal ko?
Sa ilang years ko sa TM, I figured out that the best way to write a speech is to decide on how you're gonna end it first. Next, you should write the beginning. At the beginning, you must give your audience a preview on how you're speech is going to end. From there, you can easily move on to the next segments of your speech, since you already know the ending, and can just drive your speech there.
Siguro ganun din sa mga stories. Even Amiel Urbano, yung laging champion sa mga writing contest ng Kalyo, tingin ko, ganun din ang pattern na sinusunod pag nagsusulat. He usually starts and ends his stories with the same line. Ang galing ng taong yun.
Siguro pwede rin tong i-apply sa buhay no. Alamin muna kung anong ending ang gusto mo. Then start with that ending in mind. Then proceed as needed. Magbago man ang strategies mo to get there, as long as alam mo kung san ka pupunta, I think, that will give you enough clues on what's best to do next.
Anong ending ang gusto ko? Sa totoo lang, ang hirap sagutin ng tanong na to.
Siguro... siguro nga, may parte rin kasi na nakakatakot to spend your life trying to reach a goal then eventually fail. Sa anime, people acknowledge those who do their best. Hindi ko alam kung cultural thing ba to, but I don't think things are like that in real life. at least not if you're living in the Philippines. We'd rather want to appear effortlessly genius than someone who achieved excellence out of hard work, di ba?
Hindi ko alam kung ako lang ba ang nakakafeel ng ganito, pero sa totoo lang, naooffend ako whenever I manage to achieve something great through hardwork tas ang maririnig kong sasabihin ng mga tao e, "ang sipag mo", imbis na "ang galing mo".
Does anyone else feel this way too? Sakin kasi ang translation non e, "hindi ka naman talaga magaling, nag effort ka lang". Ganun. Lol.
Pero sabi nila, life is a mirror daw. How you see others reflects who you are. I'm probably having those thoughts myself towards others, kaya akala ko ganun yung iniisip nila towards me. Siguro. I don't know.
Kung tutuusin, hindi naman talaga yun mahalaga.
Ayokong may pagsisihan. Ayokong dumating sa point na I'm too old, and it's too late to change my life, tas saka pa ko magsisisi.
Sighs. Eto na naman tayo.
11:25 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
August 2. Monday. Nakakatamad magtrabaho.
Ang work ko during weekends e petiks lang. parang extension ng rest days. Kung tutuusin, 3 days lang naman ako totoong nagtratrabaho. Hirap na hirap parin akong pilitin ang sarili ko.
Alam mo yung feeling na ayaw mo na magtrabaho, pero ayaw mong mawalan ng trabaho?
Syempre, kailangan ko ng pera.
Sick ang nga cats ko ngayon. Sinisipon silang tatlo. Iniisip ko kung magha halfday ako today to send them to vet, kaso I have to contact a user at 530 later. Nakakakaba pag may sakit ang mga hayop. Hindi ko kasi alam kung ano ba masakit sa kanila. I also don't trust the vet here. She doesn't seem to know what she's doing. Wala lang kasi talagang choice. Sya yung malapit e.
Nakakatamad.
Started watching Boruto. Over 10 eps na. Mejo nakakainis na mukhang weakling si Naruto dito. Tas si Shikadai, hindi kasing galing ng tatay nyang si Shikamaru. Pero siguro kasi 1st few eps palang naman. Maybe the characters will still develop over the next eps. Nakakalungkot din na parang hindi masyadong close ang ino-shika-cho ng generation na to. Though I really love Ino's son, Inojin. Mana sa papa nyang si Sai. Ang cute cute nya. Also Lee's son. Ang ku cute nila.
Alam mo bang kahit sa panaginip, nakikita ko ang Konoha. Lol.
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Gusto ko na yumaman, para di ko na kailangan mag trabaho. Ano bang gagawin ko?
11:57 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Tsk. I'm itching to create Naruto theme here in Tabulas. I already generated Naruto font for "cinderellaareus", only to realize, I need to upload it here, to embed the link, blah blah. I don't remember it so well, but I'm pretty sure all the other themes I've made here, I used the office pc of my previous company. In this co, naka citrix at vdi na nga lang kami, takot na takot pa kong gumamit for non-business purposes. Lol.
Should I buy a laptop na ba?
If there is one talent you wish to have, what would it be?
Dati tinanong ko ang nanay at kapatid ko, on separate occasion, kung saan sa tingin nila ako magaling, they both answered drawing daw. I've joined a poster making contest in high-school, hindi naman ako nanalo. I've brought a few medals from writing and speech contests home, I wonder why neither Mom, nor Brother, think I'm good at it. Maybe because they've never really seen my works.
Kung may talent ako na gusto ko ma acquire, at least at the moment, siguro drawing yun. Sa kababawang dahilan na gusto kong gumawa ng Naruto theme dito sa tabulas, kaso kinakabahan rin ako kumuha ng images from internet dahil sa copyright, though I always make sure to add credits naman.
I'm thinking of buying a laptop. Maybe I can buy it right away, pero gusto ko pa rin pag-ipunan. Mag aaral ako ng... i don't know... siguro photoshop, or digital drawing something. Hindi ko lang sure kung meron ba akong time and talent para rito.
May technical drawing class nung college. Kinda expected since Civil Engineering ang course ko. My works were average, until Jenna thought me a secret on how to make my drawings clean. The secret is to never slide your drawing tools (ruler, triangle, etc.) on the paper. When I applied that on my next drawing, it looked so good, one of my classmates stared at it, thinking I asked Jenna to draw it for me.
In our higher years, in our Timber, or maybe Reinforced Concrete Design class, we were required to design a 2-story residential house. A classmate commented on my elevation drawing saying mukha daw computer printed. We draw our plates by hand. Pero kahit anong ganda ng design at elevation drawing ko, I still sucked in perspective drawing so much, that my friend, Glaza, took pity and drew it for me. Yung perspective na magdamag kong tinapos pero pangit pa rin, natapos ni Glaza in few minutes, may mga puno puno pang kasama. Glaza is not particular with line weight, so unlike my drawings, hindi mukhang computer printed yung drawing nya. Pero hindi parin maitatanggi na magaling mag drawing si Glaza. Naisip ko then na kaya lang maganda yung ibang drawings ko was because I learned a few techniques. But I didn't really think I had the talent. Naisip ko nga non na kung may talent lang ako, tas may techniques pa, ang galing ko na siguro no. Lol. In the end, I got the highest score of 98 for that project. I was the only one who was given that score. I think Glaza got 95.
Pero hindi naman talaga ako interesado sa pag drawing ng bahay. Hindi ko talaga alam kung saan ba ako interesado, pero alam ko rin na I can't put my life on hold until I figured out what I want to do with my life. I guess I just really have to figure it out along the way, no.
Pero alam mo, whether through techniques or talent, nakakamiss maging magaling at something. To perform well, and have people acknowledge you for it.
But I'm a 35 yo woman. Sometimes I feel like there's nothing left to prove anymore. I really want to take things easy now. Parang early retirement phase. Ganun. Pero ewan ko. Will it be worth it to live an easy life ba?
Hindi ko alam. At gaya ng dati, ayoko parin magkamali.
10:26 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Relatively petix at work on a Wednesday. Baka mamaya pa dumating ang calls pag work hours na sa India.
Over 100 eps in Boruto, I'd probably spend my rest days watching.
Ang cute ni Mitsuki. Sana magtuluyan sila ni Chocho. I understand why a lot of people hate this anime, but I think it is because we love Naruto so much, we want Naruto and his friends to keep shining even on Boruto. Pero kasi, if gagawin yun ng writer, maa outshine talaga ang tunay na bida sa next generations e.
Sumulat kaya ako ng sarili kong anime?
Lol. I can't draw. Maybe I can. Pero nakakatamad e.
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Spent over twice my usual spending this cut off. Cat food lang naman ang madalas kong pagka gatusan. My cats live on wet food alone, and they seem to know the difference between cheap and expensive brands. Hindi nila kinain yung mas murang cat food na binili ko galing China. And "mura" means less than 40 pesos apiece, which is not mura at all. Sayang. T_T
A few days back, nakakita ako ang super cute na kuting sa kalye, tilapia color, which I really like. I was carrying my cat, Iya, then, and we were on our way back home from the vet. Meow ng meow yung tilapia kitten at sinusundan kami. If I was with Mom then, she'd probably pick up that kitten and bring it home.
Saludo ako sa mga taong nag rerescue ng mga kuting. Totoo namang nakakaawa. Hindi ko parin kinuha yung pusa because I have to think of my own cats' welfare. I mean, if you have children, you won't go around picking street kids to bring home with you, di ba? I do feel sad about the choice I took. I don't have an excuse. I still wish na sana may nakakita sa kuting na yon na mas mabuting tao kesa sakin.
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Iniisip kong bumalik sa TM para magkaron ng konting saysay ang pandemic days ko. Kung babalik ako, dapat by October para sakto sa renewal. Pero kasi, aabot sa election ng officer ang membership ko if so. Natatakot lang akong ma elect. Maybe I won't, since maraming mga new member na hindi ako kilala. Pero kahit ganun, mahirap paring ipagsapalaran. I still remember how I felt the last time I've been an officer. Ayoko na bumalik dun.
But I do want to take this chance to meet people from other countries. It's now possible to attend meetings from around the world bilang online na ang meetings. Maybe I can join another club. Pero kasi, kahit sagad sa buto ang pag-ayaw ko sa pagiging officer, family parin ang tingin ko sa Elite. If I'm to go back, I think it has to be Elite. Pero iniisip ko kung practical bang maging emotional about things kung magiging hadlang lang yun sa goals ko.
Jay once invited me to join her club. Maybe I can join her club instead. Pero baka i-push nya akong gawing officer. Yun lang naman talaga ang issue ko. Gusto ko lang maging normal na member. Ayoko na ng dagdag na responsibilidad. Hindi ba talaga pwede yun? Posible rin na baka praning lang ako.
Another option is to wait for the election before I renew. Kaso next year pa yun. Baka tapos na ang pandemic. Sa totoo lang, namimiss ko na ang TM. Pati mga friends ko dun. Pero hindi ko parin ma shake yung umay feeling twing naiisip ko yung mga days na officer pa ko. Trauma ba to?
Marunong pa kaya ako mag speech? Namimiss ko na sumali sa contests.
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Nung isang gabi, nanaginip ako ng naka recieve daw ako ng mga regalo. Ang pinaka gusto ko raw e yung rubber shoes na blue kasi sakto sakin ang size. Size 9. Dun sa dream, mas gusto ko daw sana yung pink, pero nagustuhan ko parin yung blue rubber shoes. I also received a pink one daw, kaso sobrang laki sakin.
Tas biglang nasa loob akong ng bahay na parang model house na napuntahan namin before. Tas nandun si Konohamaru.
Then, just 2 nights back, napanaginipan ko si Partner. Funny, the following day, nakita ko yung kakilala nyang hapon sa Eat Bulaga. Foreignoys ata ang nasa bawal ang judgemental. I wonder if Partner was also there. Hindi ko napanood lahat e. He'd already joined that segment a number of times already though.
Hindi ko matandaan ang panaginip ko kagabi.
Teka, 1st break ko na. Jaaa.
10:55 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Kamusta daw, sabi ng relative ko sa probinsya. Kala ko uutang. Even worse, hihingi pala. Pandagdag daw sa bibilhin cellphone pang online class ng anak nya, na inaanak ko.
Naiistress ako. Naiirita. Nakakairita kasi feeling ko ang damot ko. Hahaha. Totoo, ang laki ng binayaran ko sa credit card this cut off, at tootoong I borrowed money from mom kasi kinulang.
Pero syempre hindi ko rin sinabing meron naman akong fund sources, ayoko lang mag withdraw dahil sayang ang interest. Naiinis din ako sa conflicted feeling na to dahil 1) this is the 1st time na lumapit sakin ang taong to, hindi naman sya madalas manghingi. 2)naiintindihan ko na taghirap naman talaga. 3) tumanda na yung inaanak ko at few times ko lang syang nabigyan ng regalo. 4) alam kong dapat kong maisip na blessed ako to be on the giving end, and not with them on the receiving/borrowing/asking end.
But at the same time 1)ayoko ng feeling ng naabuso at pineperahan. 2) ayokong sanayin ang mga kamag-anak ko na sakin lumalapit kapag nagigipit. 3) hindi man lang nya naisip na utangin, hingi talaga, so mejo... nakakainis. 4) I want to take care of my self and the people in my life---- they're not one of those people. I want to make it clear to them na hindi ko sila pananagutan.
After explaining that I had to pay a lot for may credit card at walang extra sa ngayon, ang sagot ni relative e next time nalang daw pag may extra na ko. Naiinis ako na walang trace ng hiya sa side na.
Naiinis ako. Sa kanila. Siguro mainly because they make me realize na ang damot ko pala, though matagal ko naman nang alam. Siguro kasi, they made me explain myself, and I hate explaining myself. Siguro kasi they made me question my humanity, or on why I so much lack generosity... or compassion, and whatnot. Naiinis ako kasi alam ko na lahat ng rason ko, hindi naman talaga sila ang may kasalanan kung hindi ako. It's not them who are making me feel this way, it's my own thoughts. Di ba?
Sighs, yaan mo na nga.
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Naghahanap ako ng way to trick myself into exercising. Naisip ko e yung game na gagalaw ka talaga physically. Nag check ako ng dance pad, pero wala namang compatible sa smart tv. Meron nakong nabasa about Xbox at Nintendo switch. The more I read about them, the more confused I become. Ano yung kinect? Ano yung console? Katulad ba to ng family computer nung 90s? Or iniinstall ba to gaya ng mobile games? Nakakalito.
An officemate suggest na bili daw ako ng 2nd hand para mas mura. Mahal daw kasi to. When she told me the price, narealize ko na magkaiba ang definition namin ng mahal at mura. Lol. To think that this person's salary is higher than mine, by 2-3k.
Tsaka hassle ang 2nd hand. Pano pag di gumana. At least pag brand new, may warranty. Tsaka yung mga 2nd hand, for pickup pa sa kung saang ibayo. I seriously think that buying brand new is a wiser option.
Pero siguro, ang even wiser option e to not buy at all. Tokwa, maglalakad lakad nalang ako sa harap ng pc twing avail. Wala pa kong gastos.
Still considering it though. Meron kasi ata game na multiple players. Pwede siguro gamitin ng buong pamilya namin. Nag iisip pa ko.
05:21 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
8 minutes into my shift. Antok na antok ako.
May langgam sa damit ko kagabi. Walang tubig. Imbis na hot shower, I made do with 3 pales of water, tas malamig pa. Naiwan yata yung langgam at nadala ko hanggang pagtulog. I wasn't able to sleep much. My shoulder hurt from trying to reach the langgam crawling on my back. Napanagipan ko rin na bumalik na yung tubig at pwede na mag hot shower. When I woke up this morning, the dream came true. Ang laking ginhawa pag merong tubig.
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Work from home, pero bat ganun, gusto ko na umuwi. Haha.
Hayst.
09:16 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Tokwa. If it can be helped, I wouldn't do this talaga.
Will be sending one of my cats to the vet to be spayed on Wednesday. In heat na kasi. Baka mabuntis. If all goes well, I'll bring the other one next.
Nagre research ako ng mga preparations na kailangan. Lalo tuloy akong kinakabahan. Kawawa naman yung pusa ko. Huhu. If only there's anything I can do for them not to go through the pain of having this surgery anymore.
Sabi sa nabasa ko, need daw mag fasting. Dapat no food daw the night before surgery. Hindi sanay sa gutom ang mga pusa ko. Si Iya, umiiyak pag nagugutom. Every hour sya kung magutom. Sobrang nakakaawa to think na magugutom sila nang sobrang tagal. Tapos ikukulong pa daw ng 1 week kasi baka bumuka yung sugat. Hindi sila sanay ng nakakulong. Kawawa naman yung mga pusa ko.
Sighs. Ano ba gagawin ko? TL had already allowed me to take a leave. Hindi pa rin talaga ako decided.
May contraceptives ba for cats?
05:33 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Cat is sick simula kahapon pa. Twing pinaplano ko talaga na ipakapon sila, bigla nalang silang nagkakasakit. I'll just buy a cage. I plan to put the cage inside their room and only put them there when they're in heat. Let's see if this will kind of work out. Bahala na.
I'm a little relieved though. Hindi ko na kailangang maglinis ng sugat ng pusa ko. I'm not really fond of blood, you know.
Sighs. Okay, what's next?
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VL ako bukas. Still sending my cat to vet kahit di na tuloy ang kapon. The vet clinic here is about 15 minutes walk. I sometimes ride a jeep to get there. Pero mula sa kanto hanggang sa bahay, kailangan talaga maglakad. Masyado kasi maingay if mag ta tricycle, maiistress yung cat. I feel like my life will be so much easier if we have a car. Pero kasi... I don't think I can ever drive, even if I try to learn how.
Nung bata pa ako, sobrang takot ako sa multo. Ngayong adult na ko, hindi na nga ako takot sa multo, pero mas dumami naman ang mga kinatatakutan ko.
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180+ eps in Boruto. Exciting na ng mga eps. I love Mitsuki. He's so adorable. I feel like I can handle any death in Boruto, so long as it's not Mitsuki. Well, Naruto is given.
Kainis yung mga memes na nababasa ko. I'm trying my hardest not to spoil the next eps. Is Kashin Koji, Jiraiya? Jiraiya, my beloved ero sennin. Did he somehow survive? Tokwa, tokwa, tokwa.
I. MUST. NOT. GOOGLE. THE. ANSWERS.
12:54 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Paker. Naubos ko na ang episodes ng Boruto, cliffhanger pa ending. Irereveal na ang identity ni Kashin Koji. Everyone seem to think he's Jiraiya. Sana naman hindi ito paasa lang. And, jusko, seriously, please don't let him get killed the second time around if he's indeed Jiraiya.
Aug 29 daw release ng next ep. Eeeeeee! I can't wait, gusto ko na mag time travel sa future!
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結局ノートパソコンを買ってしちゃった。
Acer, i5, below 40k. Habang sinesetup ko sya, narealize ko na hindi ko talaga to kailangan. I still prefer watching anime by mirroring my phone on tv. Everything else that I need a laptop for, I can do either on my phone, or on the office PC. Mag-aaral nalang siguro ako ng photoshop. Sinubukan ko rin iaccess ang neflix gamit ang citrix, pero mukhang walang Boruto sa Netflix US. But they do have Onepiece. I'm thinking of watching that next while waiting for Boruto's next eps.
Hayst. Kelan ba matatapos ang anime series na to. Yung onepiece 900+ eps na, di pa tapos. Baka 40 na ko ongoing parin to. It's quite likely though.
さあ、次どうする？
12:42 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Talaga bang sabado na bukas? Hindi ako prepared. T_T
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Pina upgrade ko yung RAM ng kabibili ko lang na laptop kahit di ko naman kailangan. Namiss ko lang mag frappe. Maybe it was just an excuse. Now that I've finished the latest ep of Boruto, tamad na tamad akong mag stay sa bahay. Tried watching Bleach. Not liking it yet. Maybe I'll get to like this in a few more eps. I didn't like Naruto rin naman at first, pero now, love na love ko na.
Oh, nalaman ko pala na hindi si Jiraiya si Kashin Koji. He's just his genetic clone. Nalaman ko rin na matatalo nila si Jigen, mawawala ang rinnegan ni Sasuke, at mamamatay si Kurama. Tokwa. Damn Google. Hindi ko alam kung gusto ko pa ba mapanood to. I wonder if anime will stick with the manga's plot, or make some changes. Mabubuhay pa kaya si Kurama? Maybe the author needs to weaken the strongest shinobis (Naruto & Sasuke), para mawalan ng choice ang tunay na bida (Boruto) kundi mag step up at i-save ang lahat. Siguro. IDK.
When I'm not preoccupied with anime, napapagastos ako out of boredom. Tas nadiskubre ko pa yung Food Panda. Lagot talaga.
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Back to work tomorrow. Gusto ko nang yumaman.
12:16 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Isang malalim na buntong hininga. Hayssssst.
Naiirita ako sa maraming bagay. Ayoko nang maging corporate alipin. Kung tutuusin, wala naman talaga ako sa posisyon para mag reklamo, pero basta. Ayoko na nang ganito.
Yung kasama ko sa work, magtatayo na ng business kasama ang mga friends nya. Nag suggest sya sakin na mag stock market daw ako. Lol.
I do have money invested in stocks. I religiously set aside nearly 1/4 of my salary there every cut off. Though its growing naman, it's still very slow, and I'm still at the mercy of the market's performance. May pera rin ako sa lending. 5-10% per annum na interest. Again, it's also very slow. Same with gsave at 4% p.a. Nagastos ko pa a huge chunk of my savings to pay for my laptop. Bawi nalang ulet.
I also sell cat food. I can sell out about 1 sack in 3 weeks. Nasa 600 lang ang kita ko per sack. My cats consume 500 pesos worth of cat food per day. Yes, PER DAY.
Sahod ko parin ang main sourcce of income ko. I want to find a way to earn on the side, then eventually eliminate the need to work as an employee.
Binuhay ko ulet ang shop ko sa shoppee. Few hours after kong mag post, wala pa ring bumibili kaya napanghinaan kagad ako ng loob. Lol. Ang bilis mapanghinaan ng loob, parang engers lang. Sighs.
Ewan ko.
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Release na ng bagong ep ng Boruto. Takaw oras pala mag add ng product sa shoppee, hindi na tuloy ako nakapanood. Nalaman ko rin na meron palang onepiece sa VIU. Hindi ko na kailangang pahirapan ang sarili kong manood sa Facebook. Mehehe. Meron din palang Slam Dunk dun, but I already finished Slam Dunk.
I just want to live an easy life. Nood ng anime, play with cats, attend ng learning events na interasado ako. Mga ganun lang naman ang gusto kong gawin sa buhay ko. Kaya ko naman gawin yun ngayon. Pero kasi....
Gusto ko maging malaya.
05:51 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Holiday spent working. With pay, of course, so I've got no complaints here.
Been busy uploading pictures of product on my shop in shoppee. Someone sent a message inquiring about one of my old books that I posted as for sale. Humingi ng discount si Ate. I didn't yield. 1, hindi naman kawalan sakin kahit di mabenta yung book ko, 2, mejo nalulungkot din akong ibenta.
Bibilhin nya kaya. It makes me feel poor, selling my preloved books for lower price. I'm sure Mom will not approve. Pero kasi, I probably don't need this much books naman, di ba? Especially the one I've read already. Kung mabebenta ko ang ilan sa mga to, malaki rin ang kikitain ko.
By the way, bisitahin nyo ko sa Shoppee. Okay lang kahit di kayo bibili.
05:45 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
