Entries for April, 2022
Ang sarap ng Lucky Me Mi Goreng. Gusto ko ng tuna pasta. Sis-in-law just cooked that for me few days ago. It was so good, I want to eat the same again. Tonight, we'll have lumpia made with bangus. I love lumpia. It always makes me sad when the lumpia in parties were made of pork. I'm glad there's bangus lumpia. I want to have dinner already.
Sis-in-law is a good cook. My brother is so lucky. I wish I can find a husband who's good at cooking also, so we can eat happily.
---
I had my baby cat neutered, alright. The experience was so much better than the previous one. I was surprised that the surgeon was male. The last time was a female vet. I saw the vet walked in to the clinic, I've noticed him even because his hair looked similar to the hairstyle of a manga character I've read before. I didn't know he was the vet until he sat beside me.
The vet was good. He was able to give injection to my cat without a struggle. The last time with another vet, dumanak pa ng dugo dahil nakalmot ng pusa ko yung attendant. He was able to easily tame my cat, she's not even the type who get easily tamed. I told the vet, "ang galing nyo po mag injection!" The praise was more than well-deserved.
The stitch were nicely done, I didn't even need to put anti-lick protection to my cat. My faith in veterinarians was restored that instant. The last time kasi, it was so badly stiched like it can come lose anytime. Tas di pa pantay, and they even shaved off one of my cat's dede, it was truly heartbreaking.
Pero now, with this male vet, my cat looked all fine, I wish we'll have the same surgeon again next time.
I should've asked for his name. Is he single? I think getting a chef instead of a vet will be better if I'd want to eat happily everafter...
In a way, nakakatamad ding lumandi.
Oh well, I will soon gonna break free from this hermit mode. Maybe I'll have some time by then. We'll see.
05:43 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Received a favorable response on the complaint concern I've raised regarding the chat QA at the office. I've been raising a lot of "concerns" lately. I hope this will not get me into trouble.
Nephew's birthday on 22nd. The celebration will be in Cavite. The plan was to stay at a resort near my brother's in-law's house. There are also plans to go sightseeing. Might take 2 days. I already said I'm not going as I can't really leave my cats. I need a yaya for my cat. I really wish to go. T_T
RTO is fast approaching. Nakakatamad. I've started having trouble sleeping kakaisip na magbabyahe na naman ako pabalik sa office. I'm thinking the commute will be so much easier and faster if only I have a car. I cant drive though.
Sighs. Ewan. Gusto kong maging tipo ng tao na chill lang even when things don't go my way. I hate this frustrated feeling. Grrgg!
-----
Tried watching romcom kdrama again. Having exposed in BL, parang ang korni korni na ng usual love stories. Hindi ko na natapos.
I watched Sk8 The Infinity. Though technically not a BL, I love to bromance. There are only 12 episodes though. I wish there's more. Can't get enough of Reki and Langa. They're so cute. Can't find a manga of this though. Sayang.
Oh, wait. Gotta work.
08:26 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Gah! I felt like I've lost a few years off my life from shock.
A friend told me na nakipagrelasyon daw sya sa iba. She's married with 2 kids, and I know her husband. I felt so relieved when she told me it didn't involve anything physical, and it only lasted for 2 weeks.
Ang hirap. Tokwa. I didn't know what to say. Madaling pagalitan ang mga nagkakasala at sabihing, "umayos ka", "ayusin mo buhay mo", "isipin mo ang mga anak mo", blah, blah, blah... but these lines mean you're taking the person's struggles lightly.
Naisip ko lang na isa sa mga fears ko about having a relationship e yung gumising ka isang araw na ayaw mo na. Yung tipong wala namang mali sa partner mo pero hindi mo mashake yung feeling na hindi mo na gustong magpatuloy pa. Ang hirap.
I told my friend na pag-isipan nyang mabuti... and all other lousy advice, kasi hindi ko naman talaga alam. I'm just an outsider with zero involvement in their situation, but I still feel bothered... and sad. I feel sorry of the husband, but I can't judge my friend either. I've known her for so long. She's a kind-hearted woman.
Ang hirap...
I've been single for so long. If I happen to find someone and settle, I think I'd think twice before cheating, no? I will, right? What makes people cheat anyway?
I'm also partly annoyed that a good man is being treated like that. But I love my friend, I can't possibly hate her. Tsk, ano bang gagawin ko?
She said I'm her "only true friend". Sa totoo lang, gusto ko syang batukan.
05:15 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Watched the anime, movie, and OVA.
That was nice. Huhu.
Jeez, I'm really getting sucked in this whole BL vortex.
11:40 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
RTO fast approaching.
For some reason, I'm the only one on shift today. Hopefully the others will come by 10AM.
Nakakatamad. I'm starting to feel lonely. Lol.
---
Watching Dr. Stone. The story is super interesting and funny. Will probably finish this soon though, then I'll need to find another to watch.
Sheesh. Nothing interesting with the real world lately. Thinking about the RTO gives me insomnia, so I'm trying not to think at all.
I want to live a really cool life. Like, kick-ass cool. I don't really envy my friends who got noisy children, but I am surely curious on how it feels like to be pregnant. I've always preferred an easy life though. Surely there were times that I worked my butt off in order to get what I want. Those were good times too. I miss those times.
What will I do from here? Nakakatuwang isipin na I can be whatever I want to be since I have some time, a few money, and no attachments. But in a way... ewan. Nakakatamad mag-isip.
Watching Dr. Stone, I feel like I'm more likely to agree with Tsukasa than with Senku. Same way that I've never think Thanos to be bad, or on now I often wonder what Hitler really thinks, after reading portions of his Mein Kampf book.
I feel like there are so many things to understand, though we, humans, tend to stick to a certain belief, and deem everything else as evil. I feel like it's such a waste.
A friend happily told me a few weeks back that her divorce process is almost finished. Mag samgyeup daw kami. I don't eat meat. Lol.
The ex-husband is a Pinoy whose citizenship is in London. If there's divorce in the Philippines, things would've been so much easier for her. The ex-husband cheated and impregnated another woman. He refused to get back to his wife even after she begged for him to come back. My friend didn't have any choice but resort to divorce.
I support divorce and same-sex marriage. I believe that the government should be impartial and not be binded by the beliefs of any religion. Discussions on topics like these can sometimes be toxic, so I often keep my mouth shut.
There are so many things I find interesting in this lifetime, but I really hate to argue and explain my point.
-----
10:44AM. I'm hungry.
10:45 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Mom and Bro left early morning yesterday to go to Cavite for my Nephew's birthday party. Neice, Nephew, and their mother went there a few days earlier. It had been just Dad and I since. Incidentally, Mom lost a brother yesterday. She must be mourning, but it's not like she'll skip her grandchild's party for this.
Adulthood is scary. Life has so many demands, you can't even mourn. Of course, I'm not sad about losing an uncle so I wouldn't understand so much. He lived in Davao, and we were not really close, so yeah.
--------
Going back to the office in a week. Sabi ko dati I'll make use of the time I have while working from home to make a lot of money, so I'll be rich enough to not work anymore, by the end of the Pandemic. Anyare, teh?
Sighs.
--------
Been trying to remember a certain poem I've made.
See, I love poems. I've memorized all of my favorite poems, and the oldest one I learned in grade 2.
"There is no frigate like a book/ To take us land away/ Or any cruisers like a page/Of fancy poetry"
Or that poem that bff made for her crush in high school:
"I know I was to blame/ If you don't know my name/ If I can theft your heart/ mine will not be inept."
Or the one I read from an old book from our university library:
"For a moment I thought I could forget you/ for a moment I thought I could still the restlessness in my heart/ I thought the past could no longer haunt me/ nor hurt me/ how wrong I was...."
Those were nice poems. I've wrote countless poems myself. The 1st poem I wrote, I've written when I was six. That was basically the time when I just started learning to write sentences.
It's just weird, I didn't memorize any of the poems I've made. There's this one poem I want to remember. It was about R. It was about the time when we were at the pool, and he was carrying me on his back... gah! I can only remember the last line...
"He's no longer there..."
F*ck. It felt important. I really want to remember. But I've burned all my letters and notes years ago... I don't think I've written it anywhere on the internet.
Well, come to think of it... between that guy and I, parang laging nagko conspire talaga ang langit against us. Not that it matters now. It's not that I'm gonna do anything. I just really want to remember. Damn it.
Sighs... it's getting really lonely lately. Maybe I've been reading too much BL.
06:13 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Must be a side effect of BL love bug. Guess I'll allow myself to write this uber mushy thoughts. Lol.
See, I've always thought that the concept of "closure" is all bs...
I'm 100% sure that I no longer feel the same way now. But it surely bug me why it was so much easier for me to forget everyone else, but you.
Gah! I hate that line!
It's more than a decade too late. I still remember the desperate look on your face when you were holding onto my wrist, asking me to stay.
Again, I'm 100% sure I no longer feel the same way. I guess I've been bothered because of the things that you said. Or how you've gotten a lot of things wrong. Or on how I didn't bother to correct all the misunderstandings.
Your feelings had long been reciprocated. Sorry, I didn't tell you.
It had always been mutual. Sorry, I didn't let you know.
I was happy whenever you gave me gifts. I was just too embassarassed to say thank you. Sorry.
When you asked if I was happy being the reason of someone else's pain, I thought those were just your baseless accusations. Sorry, it took me some time to get where you were coming from. I should've told you. I should've corrected. Sorry.
Oh gawd, this is pointless. I just don't know where to put all these long overdued apologies knowing it will never reach you. It's pointless.
But maybe I'll just use this dissatisfaction as a lesson never to do the same mistake again. I want to happily move forward without having to carry all these.
Ok. Stop na.
-------
Skipped work today. My stomach hurts. Boss didn't reply. Bahala na.
Few days to rto. Thinking about this is giving me insomnia, I can't explain why.
In a way, I think I also want to go out and see the world again. Pero kasi... can't I really do that at home?
04:20 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Battling over whether to buy a wrist watch or not. I like those plastic ones, like baby g's. Looks like g-shock but not as expensive. I wonder if I should buy a g-shock instead. RTO starts on Sunday. I need a watch.
I remember years ago, I had a JP interpreter gig in one of Casio G-shock's events. I met the G-shock inventor, Sir Kikuo Ibe. He was so nice and humble, as expected from a Japanese. Funny though, the event was Casio, and one of Ibe-san's attendants jokingly mentioned that my jissho was Sharp and not Casio. LOL. It got me pretty embarrassed, but I was glad they were all good-natured people.
Should I buy a G-shock? Namiss ko bigla si Ibe-san. I still have his calling card.
Mom bought me Seiko 5 watch as a gift for my birthday years back. It was around 5k then. Now it costs around 8k. Mom said I shouldn't wear it outside as it might get snatched. I feel like it's such a waste having this watch and not being able to wear it. Maybe Mom was just exaggerating. I mean, if you're holding a cellphone worth 8k, I don't think anyone will bother snatching something that cheap.
I'll probably just wear my Seiko 5. It's just annoying that if you stop wearing it for a few hours, the time will stop moving also. I mean, it's nice that I will never need to replace the battery for life, but it's still a hassle that it keeps on stopping on certain conditions.
Gusto ko ng G-shock.
---‐
Mel and I are planning to go on vacay by June. It's been a long time since I went out. Mel's a cowboy adventurous type. I am the lazy and extremely maarte type. I think I can somehow adjust sa mga trip nya. Afterall, she always adjusts for my food preferences. She asked if I'm okay sleeping on a tent. I told her I prefer a bedroom with AC, but I'm willing to try.
Kinakabahan ako sa tent. Sana hindi malamok at walang ahas. Sana may ma meet kaming pogi. Haha!
----
Checked Casio's Flagship store in Shopee. Apparently, most G-shock watches are even pricier than a Seiko 5. Will it get snached if I buy one? Is this even pawnable?
I remember when Sir Kikuo Ibe was having a tour here in the Philippines. They launched a limited-edition Pinoy themed G-shock watch. It looked so nice, Partner and I were hoping to get one as freebie. Sadly, we didn't. I didn't find anything similar on the Casio shop.
Must be nice to have a G-shock. 'Guess will just buy it later, pag mayaman na mayaman na ko.
12:30 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
