Entries for April, 2021



Opinyon at kuro kuro
土曜日: April 3, 2021



Iniisip ko lang...

If we adopt and rescue puspins, do we really have to hate those who buy furry ones na may breed? Is it really fair to say na hindi sila animal lover because they opted to buy instead of adopt?

Tapos, if you chose to live a meat-free lifestyle, do you really have to look down on those who eat meat?

Our family adopt and rescue cats and dogs and feed strays. I've been full pescetarian for 2 years now, yet I still feel like there's something wrong about common arguments like these.

Sa totoo lang, gusto ko ng french bulldog. Or any bulldog. Ang cute cute kasi. Parang ang cute din ng beagle.

Hindi ako masyadong interested sa cats na may breed. Mukha kasing higad. Hahaha. I think the cutest cat breed is the puspin. Or maybe I'm just biased. Lol.

Siamese cats are also cute. I met one when I was living in Manda and she always visited me at my place. Madalas ayaw nya na umuwi.

--------

Back to work on a Black Saturday. Mejo naiinggit ako sa may 4-day long weekend. Well, mejo lang naman.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:16 PM.

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ES
日曜日: April 4, 2021



Happy Easter!

In a little more than an hour, I'll be ending my shift.

Whenever I pass a picture of an echeveria on my newsfeed, I remember Angel of The Black Princess—some girl who used to raise succulents and recently died. I've been following her page in Facebook. Her plants looked out-of-this-world beautiful. I wonder what happens now that she's no longer around.

My friend's uncle, who was a known fashion designer, also died yesterday. Comorbidity daw. COVID + diabetes.

Alam mo ba na may mga taong naniniwala na hindi totoo ang COVID? Gawagawa lang daw ito ng gobyerno at ng China.

Just last week when I went to the hospital, I found 2 people on the ER asking for their family member to be admitted in the isolation facility. The patient was tested COVID positive. They looked and sounded desparate. The doctors, who seemed to have done this a lot of times already, didn't look any better. Said they were already full, and there were about 20 people on the waiting list pa.

Ang hirap ng mga panahong ito. Ang hirap talaga. Isang malaking hug, people.

Next week, Feast of Divine Mercy na. I haven't been in good terms with God for quite some time. I'm still trying to quietly rebuild my faith. 

Sabi sa promise ni God through Sr. Faustina, He will open His floodgates of mercy daw sa Feast of Divine Mercy. Might still be worth the try.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 05:00 PM.

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Quick
月曜日: April 5, 2021



Wasn't able to sleep so much last night. Tokwang coffee ice cream. Ayoko sana pumasok today, kaso absent na ko last Monday, at ayoko rin itapon ang 1-day worth of salary ko para lang matulog. I probably won't sleep anyway.

Gusto ko ng pasta na puro mantika at hindi matamis. Miss na miss ko na ang pasta ng Shakey's. Makapagluto nga mamaya.

Nakita ko sa nf ko yung nilutong ravioli ng kakilala ko. Feeling ko hindi pa ako nakakatikim ng ravioli. Parang masarap.

Ang weird ng tiyan ko today.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:36 PM.

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Quick ulet
火曜日: April 6, 2021



Sa sobrang sabaw ko kahapon, auto in yung na punch ko instead if aux during lunch. With this, I missed 4 calls. Ininform ko na rin yung TL namin para si sya ma shock. When he called near 9PM, akala ko papagalitan nya ko. Lol.

Something about work lang pala. Nakalimutan na naman ata na until 6PM lanh shift ko. Lagi nya napapagpalit sched namin ng isa ko pang kasama. Lol. Pero ok lang. Mabilis lang naman.

-----

Hindi pa umuuwi ang panganay kong pusa. Hindi rin sya umuwi kagabi. Nakakapag-alala. Tas yung mga baby cats ko, katatapos lang ng week-long meds nila, ayun, nagtatae na naman.

Mukhang babalik na naman kami sa doc. Nakakaawa ang mga pusa sa byahe. Kaso, ano namang gagawin ko?

Sighs.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:53 AM.

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Neko
金曜日: April 9, 2021



It's been a few days. I still haven't found my eldest cat. One of the community cats I've been taking care of is also missing. I've sent messages to the relatives and neighbors to ask they if they've seen black white cats around their area. Waley. Nag post na rin ako sa FB page ng baranggay namin, at nagsend din ako sa message ng dog pound (they used to catch cats). Sa dog pound daw, wala. Hinahantay ko pang may mag react sa post ko sa baranggay.

I've been doing mini searches around the neighborhood since yesterday. Sometimes I wish I have a seer-like ability to find the missing. 

Gutom na siguro yung pusa ko. Huhu. Sa paghahanap ko kanina, may nakasalubong akong skeletal-thin dog na may collar at leash pa. Mukhang nakawala..natatakot ako na maging ganun ang pusa ko.

I have a stock of premium cat food for my cat. Maarte syang kumain. I've been feeding some of his food to the strays. Yung tira ng mga kuting na masisira lang pag kinabukasan pa makain. Nakakainis na I'm feeding stray cats good food, tapos yung sarili kong pusa e probably gutom na gutom na out there somewhere. Huhu.

Natatakot din ako na baka nasagasan na sya. Or napulot ng manginginom at ginawang pulutan. Baka nilapa ng mga aso. Or... or...

Nah, I don't think so. My cat is very smart. And he keeps as much distance as possible from humans. He's probably just out there somewhere. Baka ayaw nga lang umuwi dahil lagi syang kinukulong sa kwarto. Ewan ko.

Nung bata pa kami, may pusa kaming ipinaampon sa tita ko. Binitbit nung pamangkin nya yung cat papunta sa bahay nila blocks away from tita's house. Ayun, naligaw ata yung pusa at never nang nakabalik.

Sana makauwi na si Jiufen at si Gen-gen. Miss na miss ko na sila. Huhu.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:17 AM.

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Kurushi
土曜日: April 10, 2021



My heart hurts.

Tomorrow will be the Feast of Divine Mercy. Sabi bubuksan daw ang floodgates of Mercy ng Langit sa araw na ito.

Sana maawa ang Langit at ibalik nya sakin ang pusa ko. Mga pusa, including Gen-gen.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:37 PM.

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Oh night divine
favorite:
土曜日: April 10, 2021



On an emotional low today. Alam mo ba, I told my divorcee friend who seeks to find a new love na divine mercy feast bukas at bubuksan ng Langit ang floodgate ng Kanyang mercy, kaya sabi ko, ipagdasal nyang magka lovelife. Sabi nya 12mn palang magdadasal na sya. lol.

I've been feeling exceptionally low today. Sa totoo lang, masyadong magulo ang isip ko para humanap ng love life. 

I want to have my own place soon. Maybe Dad will come with me. He's equally sick of this too. I don't know if Mom will. And of course, I probably can't afford just yet. Or maybe I can, but that would mean that I need to go back from scratch sa pagpupundar para sa future ko. Siguro konting tiis pa.

Basta. Bahala na.

May sakit pala ang TL namin. Kaya pala ang quiet nya sa GC. Hope it's nothing serious. I'd probably add this to my Feast of Divine Mercy list. And to check if magkakatotoo nga, I think I should write it down here:

1. Healthy, wealthy, long and happy life for me, mama, papa, and the rest of my family, kasama ang cats, kittens and dogs namin.

2. Makauwi na samin ng safe and healthy si Jiufen at Gen-gen agad agad.

3. Mag thrive kami ng aking pamilya sa kabila ng pandemic.

4. Manatili kaming ligtas sa alin mang sakuna at kalamidad. Mailayo kami sa lahat ng masama.

5. Patuloy at higit pa kaming kumita ng mas marami pang pera. Gusto kong magkaraoon ng net passive income na 2 million pesos per month.

6. Sana makasama ko pa sila mama at papa nang matagal hanggang sa may asawa na si Kaitlyn and beyond.

7. Sana maging laging in good terms ako sa mga kasama at nakakasalamuha ko sa trabaho. Sana lalo pa ako mapalapit sa kanila at mapamahal sa trabaho ko. Sana I'll get to keep this job as long as I want, at lalo pang lumaki ang sweldo ko at dumali ang trabaho.

8. Sana lumaking healthy at happy at mababait ang lahat ng mga pusa ko. Sana wag silang mawala sakin at manatili silang safe lagi.

9. Sana mapuno ng love, joy, peace at harmony ang aming family.

10. That I'll always feel loved, favored and well taken care of kahit ano pa ang relationship status ko.

11. Ma reclaim ng Pilipinas ang lahat ng aming isla, at mailuklok sa posisyon lahat ng best people, and best people only, para sa posisyon.

12. Patuloy nyo po kaming gabayan, protektahan at alagaan araw araw—ako, ang aking pamilya, kasama ang mga tao at hayop na mahalaga sa akin.

13. Sana walang calls at chats the whole day today and tomorrow.

14. Maging sobrang galing ako sa nihongo, native level.

15. Complete healing for TL Allan.

Well, let's see...

--------

Alam mo ba, bilib na bilib ako kay VP Leni. Grabe kasi sobrang... she's such a rare gem in politics. Same with Vico Sotto. It's been a long while since we had leaders like these. Sana naman mabigyan ng chance ang Pilipinas to have a person like her to be the highest leader in the country.

Sana talaga.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:16 PM.

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Byouki
火曜日: April 13, 2021



Skipped work today as I'm not feeling well. Throat hurts. Plan to spend the day sleeping.

Everyone in the family has colds also. The 1st one to get better was surprisingly our youngest-- my 11 month old nephew. I feel like it's the 1st time I've seen a kiddo eating broccoli like it's chocolate. He also drinks a lot of water. Probably that's why.

Been feeling tired these days. It's hard to complain when there are people who are worse off. My TL said he won't be around for at least 14 days. I wonder if he has COVID. He sent a picture of him with a tube like thingy connecting his nose to... idk, maybe an oxygen tank? He looked really sick. Nakakaawa rin talaga. Sana gumaling na sya. Nakakatakot rin kasi, hindi pa nga namin sya nami meet tas bigla nalang syang mawawala. Ang pangit sa feeling nung ganun. 

----‐‐

I want to feel positive and all light and bubbly. Pero there are days talaga na mahirap gawin yun, no? 

I feel so down today. I also happen to be physically sick at the moment. I think the best thing to do is to hang on, keep going, and believe that the following days will be so much better. 

Isang mahigpit na yakap sa lahat nang hindi masyadong happy!



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:06 PM.

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Dp
水曜日: April 14, 2021



Still feel sick, pero pumasok parin ako sa trabaho. Many times during the day, I thought of taking a half day leave, or an undertime, pero naisip kong tapusin nalang ang shift ko. Sayang ang sahod.

Umaabot pala ng milyon ang hospitalization ng mga taong may COVID. May mga tao palang piniling magpakamatay para hindi mabaon sa utang ang pamilyang maiiwan nila.

Napaisip tuloy ako kung magkano ba lahat ng pera ko na naka invest sa kung saan saan...

Days are hard.

And seeing how so much of an asshole your country's president is, is not helping one bit. I still haven't properly mourn for my lost cat, who was probably killed in a cat fight, or something else. I don't know.

Also, I feel so unloved at a time like this that I'm sick.

Dad seems to love me though. He's the only one who do. I think that should be enough, right?

I'm going to ge better tomorrow. Things are going to be so much better.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:43 PM.

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土曜日: April 17, 2021



Spent my rest days sick.

My head was hurting, may ubo at sipon, at ang pinakanakakainis sa lahat e may pimple near my right nostril kaya ang hirap magpunas ng sipon. Lol. TMI. Everytime na nasasangga ko to, gumuguhit ang sakit along my  nose, up to my forehead paikot sa batok. Maybe that was why I felt more sick that I actually was.

I hate getting sick. Especially at a time like this. I did all possible measures to get well based sa recommendation ng isang biochemist na natagpuan ko sa Earthclinic. The recommendations are far from normal. At times, I feel like I'm poisoning myself, but judging from how I got well after 2 days instead of the usual 2 weeks without meds, or a week with it, sa tingin ko magaling talaga sya. Also, I have ailments that the doctors were not able to cure, pero napagaling ng mga recommendations nya. Ang the items I need are always low cost, sometimes we already have at home.

He hasn't been on EarthClinic for years though. The last time I heard, he had stroke ata. Heard he has gotten better pero hindi pa rin sya bumabalik sa EC. I wonder what he'll recommend for COVID. I took notes on his recommendations for Ebola, Sars and bird flu. I'm taking some on preventive level.

Parang gusto ko tuloy mag aral ng biochem. Habang online pa lahat ng classes, I think this should be the best time.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:35 PM.

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KT
日曜日: April 18, 2021



5:37 PM. In 23 minutes, out na ko. Bukas, panibagong pakikibaka na naman sa trabaho.

Nawawala pa rin ang panganay kong pusa. Dahil may sakit ako nung days off ko, hindi ko sya nagawang hanapin. Tomorrow will be the 2nd week since he had gone missing. Mom's cousin, Tito Leo, is an albularyo. I asked Mom if Tito can perform that tawas thingy to know my cat's whereabouts. She just laughed. I'm willing to try anything these days, you know. 

Surely, it will hurt me to find out that he's already dead, but I find it more painful to think that he's alive somewhere, hungry, or getting tortured. Tokwa, kahit nangangagat yun, tapik tapik lang palo ko dun- yung tamang matanggal lang yung pangil nya sa balat ko- tapos sasaktan lang ng kung sino?!

Nakakainis. Nasan na ba yung pusa ko? Kahit ganun, sweet naman yun, at sobrang love ko yun.

I dreamed of my cat a couple of days back. Bumalik na daw sya. And oh, I dreamt of something else too-- lovelife. Lol. Baliktad ba talaga ang mga panaginip? Huhu.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 05:49 PM.

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Lu
火曜日: April 20, 2021



Nakakadepress ang mga balita. Siguro nga designed naman talaga ang mga balita to be depressing.

Nakakapanlumo ang pangbabalahura ng Tsina. Pero mas nakakapanlumo na tila ipinaubaya na tayo ng presidente sa kanila.

Yung nagpasinuno ng community initiative, na red tag pa.

Sa daming kagaguhan, na mas pinagago pa sa loob ng isang taon ng pandemya, gusto kong maniwalang maraming tao na ang natauhan.

Pero may kakilala akong nag post parin at full support sa kanilang puon.

Nakakasuka. Gusto ko na mag migrate sa Canada.

---------

Nabalitaan namin ang kapitbahay around 5 blocks away e merong pusang ligaw sa bakuran. Will ask Mom to request the neighbor to take pictures. Baka nanduon lang ang mga pusa ko.

Ang walang hiya. Muntik na kong ma Covid kakahanap sayo, bumabarkada ka lang pala. Lol.

But of course, we do not know yet. Still, my hopes are high. 

--‐------

Hay buhay.

Ano bang gagawin namin, Universe? Please help us. Please help the Philippines. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 05:39 PM.

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Bridgerton
日曜日: April 25, 2021



Only a few eps, and kilig na kilig na ko kay Simon at Daphne!❤

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Few minutes before I end my lunch break. It's a chill Sunday at work. I'll be on leave tomorrow. 

Know what, last year, my net worth has gained another digit. It may take another decade to add another digit to that. I'm weighing my capacity of buying a land and building my own house.

Gusto ko at about 120sqm yung land. Para may space para sa garden at sa car. Kahit matagal na matagal pa siguro bago ako bumili ng car. I've searched fb para sa lot for sale, and the cheapest I found e 2x more than all the money that I have. Lupa palang yun. Wala pa yung pagawa ng house . As much as possible, I wish to keep as much money as I can for my future and for emergency. Though I earn 4x more than I used to, ang hirap parin pala. Sabi ng tatay ko, bat di daw ako mag rent-to-own nalang. Ayaw. Ayoko magbayad ng association dues. Para na rin akong nag rent nun. Gusto ko rin sana, around sjdm lang din. Never kasing bumaha rito.

Ano kayang gagawin ko?

One day, sana ipost ko nalang dito na lilipat na ko sa sarili kong bahay! Yebah!

Or even better, na mag-aasawa ako ng lalaking mayaman, gwapo, mabuting tao, who loves and treats me well. Yihiii! Lol.

Sabi ng mama ni Daphne sa kanya, piliin nya daw yung lalaki na pag kasama nya, she'll feel like she's with a good friend. In this lifetime, I only felt that kind of feeling twice. One was with R, and he's already married. Another was with J. Though single, I know we can never be. And it's all fine, really.

If the Heavens is really as generous how religion says He is, I'd like to believe that eventhough 2 chances had already passed me by, the Universe still has more to offer.

Maybe. Sana.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:21 PM.

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Kowai yo
木曜日: April 29, 2021



I'm scared, Universe.

Yesterday, someone went to our store and requested for a gcash money transfer, and ran off without paying.

Today naman, there were 2 people who called claming they were scammed money that was transferred to our gcash, and all the transfers were claimed by the same person. When I checked mom's messager, someone had sent her a message na rin pala last month with the same complaint. This time, with the full name of the person involved. Their transactions look nowhere near legal. We have filed a formal complaint to the cyber crime online. Ipapablotter din namin ang taong ito bukas. Nakakatakot, my God. Sana praning lang kami. Naiisip ko kasi na baka abangan nalang kami papunta sa baranggay. 

Earlier, I sat beside mom to tell her I'm scared and rested my head on her shoulder half jokingly. She shrugged my  head off her shoulder, so I went to my room and hugged my kittens instead. I wish that they'd live well no matter what happens to me.

The last complainant I talked to made me all the more scared. Natatakot talaga ko.

Dad earlier thought that we were just being OA. Until more complaints came, now he's refusing to say anything, all because we challenged his opinion.

I wish the supposed head of the house was not this immature. I also wish he had more spine. I understand that he's old. I just wish he have more conviction. Or at least the power to make us feel safe, even if it's not true. I don't know. Though we're still not on speaking terms, I had to rely on my brother's backbone because I had no other choice.

I hate spineless men.

I can feel how Mom is trying to keep my brother out of this though. I know she's protecting her favorite child, so she plans to endure this alone with her less favorite one (myself). I remember her saying na hindi nya daw kaya kung may mangyari kay kuya. I guess she's okay if it's me.

Ok lang. I just want to get through all these. I'm just so worried about my kittens. What will happen to them if I die?

This also made me realize that if I am to live independently, I need to grow stronger spine than this in order to protect myself and the things (animals) that I care about.

It's one thing to feel alone, you know., But to feel alone even when you're with your people is another. It's way sadder. Tapos alone ka na nga, scared ka pa. Ang saya! Haha. Huhu.

Please pray for me.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:41 PM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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