Entries for January, 2019



First
火曜日: January 1, 2019



010119. It's the first day of the year. I woke up late, ate my hearts out and had my first visitor of the year by the evening. Closed a sale after sending what feels like a hundred of messages and the customer ordered more than I initially offered. Nakakatuwa.

My life is far from perfect. Many days I cry for the things that I don't have but in the end of the day, siguro hindi rin naman talaga ganun kasama.

This year, surely there are things I want to get. I just don't want to beat myself up too much anymore. I just want to do my best.

I read Maine Mendoza's IG post where she wrote a Lang Leav quote that went something like, "do not stay where you are needed. Go where you are loved." I think we all need this.

May all our hearts be happy this 2019. May we find a love that will make us look back to the heartbreaks that we had in the past and realized that it is indeed possible to be loved without all the hurt that we thought has to come out of loving. 

MAGIGING MASAYA AT MASAGANA ANG 2019!

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When all else fails, andami kayang line up ng Marvel movies to look forward to. Besides, we can always watch koreanovela whenever we feel so brokenhearted.

I want to take care of my heart this year. Stay away from situations and people that are likely to hurt me. Biblical din yun di ba? 'Take care of your heart'.

This 1 resolution I will make. I will take care of you, heart.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:14 PM.

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While you wait
: January 5, 2019



1:46pm  the customer said, "after lunch". Iinjanin nya ba ko? This customer has been loyal for more than a year now. She always showed up. I wonder what happened. Maybe there's a reason why she didn't give me a definite time. I wonder if I should watch a movie while I wait.

I have a resolution I intend to keep for at least the entire January. Lower my expenses. That means no milk shake, minimize eating out, don't buy anything that isn't urgently needed, etc, etc. Meaning, no movie also. But G's movie will have it's premier on January 27. There's no way I'll miss that out. 

(EPS: please watch my friend's movie, ANG SIKRETO NG PISO).

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I'll be back to living in the house I've rented near the office. Weird that I'm actually looking forward to it. See, I'm pretty attached to my family and I used to get homesicked easily. But a few weeks ago when I've spent an entire week away from home, I actually liked it. It's just nice to be alone in your thoughts. I'm usually alone though, but... I don't know. It's just different.

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Contest season is fast approaching. If they'll be having the practice near Ortigas or QC (hopefully not Fairview), I think I can make time. I really wish we'll have a representative for the division contest. Ang korni kasing manood kung wala naman kaming pambato.

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I usually start my year with a goal. Nakaka frustrate lang pag di ko rin naman nami-meet. Siguro kung crazy yung goal mo, it won't be too frustrating.

At the table topics last night, one of the questions went something like, "what is your craziest dream?" Funny my head answered right on the bat, "gusto kong maging artista."

Can't think of anything crazier than that.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:07 PM.

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Kuro
日曜日: January 6, 2019



If there's one black man that I consider to be gwapo, it's Michael B. Jordan. Can't think of any one else, pero promise, ang laki ng ikinagwapo ni Trevante Rhodes sa character nya sa Bird Box.

And the arms and abs... oh boy... 

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Watched Bird Box twice today, because the first time, I was modeling play dough and wasn't able to focus. I also had to take off my eyes from the tv and cover my ears a number of times whenever the film got a little too intense to handle.

I just love Tom there and I found the part when Tom asked Malorie what's the night dress for quite cute. He's just perfect. 

Ang lakas talaga maka gwapo ng character. 

...

Well maybe the arms and abs count too. Lel 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:25 AM.

6 コメント





Isogashii desu
木曜日: January 10, 2019



"Exact location where your path crossed is not available at the moment, but we are 100% sure that it's on planet Earth where you are meant to meet."

Ang echosero nung dating app na ni-suggest ng kasama ko sa club. Ang cheesy ng terms na ginagamit, pero infey, ang sipag mag send ng message ng mga tao dun

G: hey

Z: hey

G:musta

Z: ok lang. Ikaw?

G: ok lang din

*the end*

Lol.

I know people who are terrible in online conversions but are pretty nice to talk to in real life, but still~.

But I know I'm half the problem. I'm pretty busy nowadays. Well nothing important. There's just this k-drama I'm super hooked on, it's consuming my entire waking hours and I've been barely eating lol. The drama is quite long. I just finished the 15th episode pero wala pa ko sa 1/3 ng entire drama. My golden life. That's the title. Also currently being aired in GMA. I saw it sa commercial and I got intrigued so I started watching it online, and maaaaan... nakakaadik sya! See, this girl (me) hates drama, but I fell in love with this one. Sana, please, sana naman maganda ang maging ending.

I read somewhere about the bad effects of fiction--books and movies alike-- sa isang tao. Damang dama ko. Someone once said "reality is beautiful", but it's just hard to believe that when the world you're watching is so much better. It's not really so much as the world they're in. At least not so much as the people they are with. Meron kayang ganun? Yung taong lagi nalang susulpot everytime na kailangan mo sya?

I think k-dramas are doing us disservice by raising humanity's  standards in finding a partner into an unrealistic level.

But I remember a line I once read before that said, "they say nobody's perfect. That's because they haven't met you." 

Baka meron naman talagang perfect. I want to someday say this line to someone also. I believe that people have a different meaning of "perfect". I am in no way perfect, but maybe I could be for a particular someone.

Maybe this year is that year that I'm gonna meet that someone. Who knows... Pero malamang mahirap na mangyari yung kung ang mga mata ko e naka glue sa monitor, watching koreanovela. Lol.

But to be honest, I really don't care about that now. Ang iniisip ko lang sa ngayon, ano na kayang mangyayari kay Seo Ji An ngayong alam na ni Choi Do-Kyung na hindi talaga sya ang nawawala nyang kapatid? Paano sila magkakagustuhan kung galit si guy sa girl dahil niloko ng parents ni girl ang parents nya? Paano sila magkakatuluyan e naipagkasundo narin si guys sa isa pang anak-mayaman? Magkakatuluyan nga kaya sila at all? Kapanapanabik ang mga susunod na tagpo. Abangan ang susunod na kabanata.

Gah. This is hopeless.

J-holiday on Monday. My mobile data can't handle watching videos online so I guess after tomorrow, I will have to wait for 3 days before I can continue watching.

I will miss you, Do-Kyung. T_T



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:22 PM.

2 コメント





Mess
: January 11, 2019



I look terrible today. My hair just won't behave. I haven't been sleeping and eating much lately. Hindi ko naman ikinapayat. My head aches, my eyes sear, and I told my mom I won't be going home tonight.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:08 PM.

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Kikanaide
木曜日: January 17, 2019



"Yung fiancee ni ***** parang si Zah din. Mas maganda lang si Zah."

...

And what am I supposed to say about that? Lol.

Idk. I just don't want to think about this right now. For one, e ano ba kami?

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I'm 2 episodes away from completion of the Kdrama that consumed the first 17 days of my 2019. Oh, how productive. I love the male lead, but I love the female lead as much. I just get her. I read some comments so I already know that this is likely to have a happy ending. Looks like the dad is going to die though.

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Sa totoo lang, ayoko ng drama these days. Real life type, that is. I just realized there are three things you can do when someone is struggling, hurting or having a hard time; (1) be there, (2) shut your mouth, and (3) don't ask questions.

I wish the people in my life know this.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:57 PM.

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Sabishii
土曜日: January 19, 2019



It's 10:38. Mom and Dad went out for some medical thingy and Brother left to see a doctor on a separate hospital. Niece and Sis-in-law followed and they met for their own mini family bonding. I was left to man the house, cook breakfast for Mom and Dad and that was pretty much it. 

Tomorrow is the feast of Sto. Nino. We'll have a mini feast at home. Still debating whether to go back to Metro tomorrow or go straight to the office by Monday. My weekends have been pretty uncomplicated these days, and I really like it.

My job is foreign-language related. Though I could be getting more more money somewhere else, I think I get a pretty decent pay. I give most of my salary to my mother. My needs are pretty scarce so what's left is more than enough for myself. It's not so bad, you know. I'm just watching Korean drama at the office anyway.

It's hard to get motivated to do better when I already got everything I need. I know it doesn't cover my future, but it's hard to look into the future when you don't even know what's in there.

Hayst.

Last year, I watch a Korean drama, Go Back Couple, and it kept haunting me up to this day. The storyline is, there is a couple who got a divorce. A lot of misunderstandings were involved. They said they wish they never met. Then by some miracle, they just woke up and they were both timetravelled back to the time they met-- in college.

This kept me daydreaming of also going back. 

If you will be given a chance to travel back in time, which part of your life will you go back to?

Mine is in college. I find it pretty odd. Not in the time when I made some stupid decision in my early 20s. Not in the time when I had the best days of my life in CKC, not in time when I was a sometimes-happy-sometimes-overdramatic teenager. I don't know why I want it to be college. I think I just want to do it better this  time.

I wasn't bad though. There were 50+ students in our section when we started, and I was one of the 5 who made it out alive after 5 years without extension. I wasn't bad. I know I did my best. I don't know why I want to go back there badly.

Of course, it can't happen. And all that's left to do is move forward. It's nice to know I've got nothing to lose. What's bad is that it makes me ask, "why bother?" That's why I don't and I'm getting stagnant.

Sometimes I wish that the Heavens will just tell me what to do so that I don't have to think about it myself.

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Universe, I want to feel happier tomorrow. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:19 PM.

3 コメント





Tabemashou, tabemasu yo
水曜日: January 23, 2019



Because I can't effin stick to dieting, I went to a mini food exploration today. Some of my friends say that I'm a picky eater, I have to disagree. There are just 2 things I wouldn't eat- garlic and onion. Sadly, these are virtually present in almost every dish there is. Today, I'd stick with bread.

I'm particularly fond with croissant. I love the thin crispy layers so much these often appear in my dreams. My favorite is the choco crossaint I've tasted in Diamond Hotel where I stayed during Nini's wedding. I tried Breadtalk's but it didn't even come close. 

I didn't find any chococro today. Instead I found Pain Au Chocolait. The exterior is much like croissant and the choco filling tasted heavenly. I also had some apple turnover. I loved it but I have to say that French Baker's tasted way better for half the price.

I just finished my Mango Mille Crepe from Paper Moon. Pricey, but it didn't really look masarap so I wasn't expecting much. But boy, this one's off the roof. To say that it's delicious is an understatement. I'll try the blue berry one next time.

I wish to continue this mini food exploration but my stomach is already raising a white flag. Awat na daw. Bukas naman.

What is your favorite food? Please send me your recommendations. I'll find them and will give them a try. Basta walang garlic and onion. 

Happy Wednesday !



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:56 AM.

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Otoke
木曜日: January 23, 2019



10/20 on watching Legend Of The Blue Sea. It's nowhere near superb, but Lee Min Ho is cute enough to make me finish the entire series. Besides, Shin Hye Sun is there, my favorite k-actress. Her role is minor there though, but she's still Shin Hye Sun, so I don't care. I think I'm still not over with "My Golden Life". Man, I'm wasting my youth watching kdrama. Pak this.

I understand now why Lee Min Ho is so popular with women. I still think that Park Si Hoo is more gwapo though. So long as he's not laughing.

Ang gwapo ng mga koreanong to, nakakainis! Pengi ng isa, Universe.

-----

We're starting to discuss the District Conference happening in Cebu by April--the girls and I. I hope the situation at the office will be settled by then. I need to take quite a long leave by April. 2 to 3 days lang naman since the days that follow fall on the golden week at wala naman kaming pasok. There's also BFF's wedding by March and KCON by November. There's no way I won't go. Importante sakin to. Sana maging ok lahat. I wonder if I should inform them this early.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:20 PM.

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Staying power
土曜日: January 26, 2019



So the day progressed yesterday with me wholeheartedly believing tbat it was Thursday until someone from the office said, "happy weekend", so I had to check my phone only to realized it was Friday. Thank you very much.

Home now. There were a lot of things I was so scared and worried about. But there's just something magical about being home that it melts my worries away. In a couple of days, maybe my fears will haunt me back again. But for now, I want to enjoy home.

My niece happily reported to me that she went to her new school yesterday. Come June and she'll leave day care and will move to nursery. Bro and sis-in-law decided to send her to the same school that Bro and I attended. It was funny my niece was boasting "ang laki ng school ko" so I told her dun rin kami nag aral ng daddy nya. I even showed her the picture.

It seems like yesterday when that picture was taken. Grade 1, I was 7 and Brother was grade 2. It was Christmas party so we weren't on uniforms. In the background, my cousins are visible in blurred forms as they were approaching us to have all our pictures taken.

Ang bilis ng paglipas ng panahon. My neice doesn't want to have siblings. I wouldn't know if I'd be the same when I was her age because I was never given a choice. When I was born, I already have a brother. Mom said my brother had always wanted to have one though.

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I just finished Legend of the blue sea yesterday. Looks like I can finish a 20-episode long series in a week because I don't really have so much work load. If I'd kept watching, I can finish about 52 series in a year. I can already feel Kdramas frying my brain cells.

I'm a woman who likes men. I think there will be always something nice about a guy if only you will look hard enough. Maybe it's in the way he talks. Or in the way his eyes squint when he's smiling. Or the way he adjusts the watch on wrist. I think men are fascinating creatures.

But with these kdrama men being so perfect and all, I just can't see normal men the same way again. 

They're not even real. Boy, this is bad.

-------

I was killing time at the bookstore yesterday. I bought Bob Ong's new book and walked around browsing. I found that Dean Koontz is still writing books and Harry Potter still has a whole section all for itself.

It's been more the a decade and our favorite books are still up in the shelves. They are still there even if we've long been gone.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:21 AM.

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ASNP
日曜日: January 28, 2019



One of the ways I show my affection is by hitting (usually punching) the person on the stomach. How weird is that? This applies only to men though.

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I remember about 2 to 3 years ago, I used to wonder why for someone who looked so cuddly, his hugs were rather stiff.

But tonight, he was soft.

I love that person, you know. As to what kind of love, I've decided it doesn't matter anymore. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:26 AM.

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Pinocchio and a contract
水曜日: January 30, 2019



It seems like the people next door are not around. I love the silence. I got out of my room and stood by the window near the stairs. I put my glasses on because I wanted to see.

Some guy from a dating app told me that he lives in a condo. So I took a picture of the condo visible by the window and told him maybe it's the same condo. He said it's not. I just now noticed that next to the condo, there's also a crane. On it, a signage flashed, "DM*I Homes". That was the last company who contacted me for a final interview before Company #1 snatched me away 11 years ago.

I am currently watching the k-series Pinocchio. It's about a girl who hiccups every time she tells a lie. 

Looking at the signage, I asked myself, "do you want to go back, Z?"

I wish I'm also a Pinocchio so that a hiccup can tell me my real answer.

Some things sting so much you'd prefer to deny their existence. Some thoughts just taste too bitter on your tongue you wouldn't dare to put them in words. Maybe truth is only for the brave. So much like love, isn't it?

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I met my friend Neri a couple of days back. A little more than a week from now, she's going to get married. I remember the concerned look in her face while telling me, I need to hurry up and also get married. She looked too concerned it made me feel sorry. I could tell her I'm doing okay on and on, I'm pretty sure she still won't believe me. She's much like Nini and Shara.

Funny how single and married or soon-to-be-married people think diffently. I told Neri how her mindset and choice of words are so much different from LA and that maybe I need to hang out with her more often if I want to get married just like her. I know how powerful words are, and I know Neri can help me have a better vocabulary.

Neri told me, "wag ka muna maghanap. Pag-aralan mo munang alagaan ang sarili mo." When I asked her how, her response surprised me: "e kung mag-aral ka kayang maglaba?"

Bumili ako ng Ariel at sipit na sampayan kanina. Sinipon ako sa amoy ng sabon at medyo sumakit din ang likod ko, pero overall, nalaman ko na kaya ko naman palang maglaba.

So ano, pwede na ba akong mag-asawa?

------

Last night, I made a contract with God. I wrote it in my planner para di ko makalimutan. I made an offer na if He'll give me a boyfriend and have us get married within 2019, I will give P100,000 to the church. I also wrote that I will add additional P100,000 if He'll give an epic love story na papasang koreanovela. Lol.

Pagod na ko magdating app. Tinatamad na rin ako maghanap. If God will accept my offer, then that will be good. If hindi, ok lang rin dahil hindi ko rin naman alam kung paano ako mag po produce ng P200,000. Win-win di ba? Lol.

Excited ako sa isasagot sakin ng langit. If "hindi", next year nalang ako kikilos. For now, manonood nalang ako ng koreanovela.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:35 PM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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