Entries for February, 2020

No to racism and other bs
土曜日: February 1, 2020

Shift bid over. I landed at the 5th rank but somehow managed to get the shift I want. 9AM-6PM. With this I'll be able to attend out Friday meetings sa club on time...

Then I realized, we're back to 1st, 3rd and 5th Friday sched, which means I'll only be able to attend on the 3rd Friday because I'll be in Taiwan during the 1st. I will have to endure waking up early and very little sleep all for 1 night of our meeting. What the eff. Pero ok lang din. Iniisip ko kung paano ko maitatawid ang schedule ko on March. Wala namang ganap nyan. I think I can take the worst sched, but still~


Ang daming opinyon ng mga tao sa social media re nCoV. Others think against racism sa mga Chinese, saying they are humans too and victims of the virus. Others think we are just overreacting. Others defend that by saying that we act this way because we care. Yung iba naman, Pinoy daw muna, Pilipino muna, and all these "be nice to Chinese" sheeesh are all BS daw.

Pag babad ka sa social media and hirap na hanapin kung ano ba yung raw opinyon mo sa mga bagay bagay. Yung hindi na sulsulan lang ng mga posts na nababasa mo.

Ang alam ko lang,

1. We should do our best to protect ourselves and our family. I've long stopped depending on the government for protection because they always lose their backbone everytime the issue involves China.

2. If you feel sorry for Chinese people, go ahead, be sorry. But do not allow your emotion to cloud your logic and start thinking that we should start embracing their virus-laden presence in our country. And UTANG NA LOOB, stop spreading that #notoracism bullshit because this is a time for our people to highten our vigilance. Yung lecheng nag post tungkol sa pamilyang Chinese na nagpaubayang mahuli sa pagsakay sa elevator should've joined them instead. I mean, no hard feelings. I feel sorry that they came from China and they're probably sick, pero takte, wag mo kami hawaan. Lol. HINDI TAMANG NANDITO SILA SA PILIPINAS SAMANTALANG SARILI NILANG BANSA HINDI SILA TINATANGGAP. No to racism your face. Hindi sila dapat nandito.

3. Wag mag panic. That won't help. Do your best. Stay informed.


Ilang linggo na kong nakatambay sa website ng Earthclinic. May contributor dun from Thailand na isang gifted naturopath. The last I heard of him e he had a stroke daw. I wonder what he would've prescribed at a time like this na may epidemya. I searched for the website's archive for his posts regarding SARS and MERS. Now I'm headed to buy the supplements he recommended. Hindi naman talaga ako takot sa nCoV. But I'm not taking chances and let it hit my family. (If you're interested, go to earthclinic.com, type "SARS" on the search box, and click the tab for "Ted's Q&A").

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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:49 AM.


Nenai to ikenai
: February 5, 2020

11:14pm. I should've been asleep 5 hours ago. We need to go to the airport 4 hours before flight as they don't allow online check in these days. I just got Mel's message telling me pauwi palang sya from a meetup. Looks like I won't be the only one who's puyat among us. Parents aren't sleeping very well either. I turned off the aircon. No one complained. We can't catch colds now. Mahirap na.

Sir Raul sent me a message today giving me instructions regarding the Division Contest on Sat. Sir Raul had always been supportive of me even back when I was just starting out pa. That's why I believed him when he said he would love to see me in action sa contest. Sa totoo lang, nalulungkot ako about this. 

Pero ok lang din. I'm glad how Mom seems really happy about this trip, but we both think na mas masaya sana if kasama ang kapatid ko and his family. In 3 years siguro, kaya na namin to, pag around 3 years old na yung bagong baby namin.


5VL and 1SL ang ipinagpaalam ko sa boss ko. Sa record nya, I have 5 leave credits, so now, wala na. I don't know when will it be replenished. I'll be attending a conference in Bicol by the end of April. May leave credits na kaya ako nun?

Wait, first things first. Taiwan muna tayo.


Feeling ko type nung crush ko yung bagong hire na J-speaker namin. She seems like a good kid, though I find her a little... uhm... coy? I don't know. Ganito kaya talaga ang type nya? Or, ganito kaya ang type ng mga lalaki? Para kasing type rin sya ni Gelo. Hmmmm, kaya siguro hindi ako tinatratong babae ng mga kakilala kong lalaki. Lol.

Crush kind of leads us. Ang alam ko, bawal boss-subordinate relationship dito sa company. Conflict of interest din kasi. Aalis kaya sya pag naging sila? Lol, I think I'm getting ahead of my speculations.

Hay, Universe. Patulugin mo na ko, please.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:48 PM.

1 コメント

5J 313
: February 11, 2020

Our supposed flight at 7am today was cancelled a few minutes ago after the Taiwan travel ban was imposed. I'm surprised how Mel is keeping her calm regarding this. Sabi nya, wala rin nmn kasing magagawa. I think she's right.

Nahihilo na ko sa antok. I'm scared. I wish I can calm down as much as Mel can. She even thought of the girl we met from our previous hostel who was travelling alone. Kawawa daw. Nauna nya pa isipin ang iba when she's also in a bad situation. Reincarnation kaya sya ni Mama Mary? Ang bait ng taong to.

Sighs. Gusto ko nang mag hyperventilate.

Pero kung titingin ka sa bright side...

I have my parents with me.

I am under Mama Mary's ( I mean, Mel's) care.

I still have some money left.

-some masks 

-some alcohol

-stocks of vit C.

Sana maging maayos lahat. Kaya namin to.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:41 AM.

4 コメント

Yatto modotta
水曜日: February 12, 2020

Booked a flight from Taipei to Malaysia in order to go back to Manila. Everything went well hassle free and we're home now. Thank you so much, Universe!

Updated the boss that I'm back to PH na. Asked if they will require me to undergo self-quarantine because Mel just got a message from their HR informing her so. Looks like my vacay is extended until Feb 24. Mel's other workmates who went to Taiwan are also under quarantine. They're planning to have a "quarantine party", LOL. Mel wants me to come. Lol ulet. This is going to be ridiculous.

Sa totoo lang, kahit worried ako na wala akong sasahurin, excited ako sa 2 weeks na wala akong gagawin. Sinusubukan ko rin na wag munang alalahanin ang stat ko sa work at ang shift bid for March. Bahala na si Batman. I remember I agreed to join my workmates to watch hot air balloons sa March. Siguro hindi talaga ako pinapasama ng langit.

Gusto ko magpa ayos ng buhok. Mag open ng dollar account. Humanap ng way to earn more money on the side. Mag meditate at magbasa ng mga libro. Takte, mawawalan na nga ako ng sahod, excited pa ko! Lol.


Feb 7. Mel was supposed to meet one of her former students who's a Taiwanese. The girl had some emergency at work so she made her husband to come. The husband took a guy friend along. We went to some classy resto in Taipei 101. I learned that the guy friend is single and is quite a rich kid which piqued my curiosity. Bad trip lang I couldn't put my flirting hat on because I was with my parents. Kainis! Cute sana yung guy. Oh well.

Bukod don, wala kaming masyadong nakitang cute sa Taiwan. Lahat kasi sila naka mask.

We went to Jiufen by the 2nd half of our travel. It's a province-y part of Taiwan. There were a lot of Pinoys in the hostel that we booked there. There was a common dining area so we were able to converse with some of them. Cute sana yung 1 dude don kaso halfway the conversation, some girl walked up and joined us while doing PDA-ish thing with the guy as if saying, "this is mine, back off". Ok, fine. Taken pala.

Sarap sana magka travel fling lalo na't February kaso waley talaga. Kasalan 'to ng nCoV. Or siguro hindi ako dapat nagsama ng parents? Haha.

Pero ok lang naman. Sa totoo lang, namimiss ko na yung crush ko.


Super long day today. Need to sleep. 

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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:04 PM.


金曜日: February 14, 2020

Siguro JS prom na sa dati kong school. Malapit lang yun sa bahay namin. Dinig kong may party. Ganda ng tugtugan. Hula ko may Battle of the Band na nagaganap. 

Parang gusto ko tuloy magpunta sa bar at mag sound trip sa isang sulok habang nagmumuni muni tungkol sa mga maling desisyon ko sa buhay. Lol. 

Valentine's na pala bukas. Naka house arrest ako (home quarantine). Pero syempre lalabas parin kami.

Sino kayang ka date nung crush ko?

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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:47 AM.


Nobody's Mouse
: February 14, 2020

As always.

Mom got her pension in partial lump sum today. She used some of the money to bring us to a resto and bought my brother and my niece shoes. It was agreed that instead of Mom bringing them pasalubong from Taiwan, dito nalang sa Pinas bibili. When sis-in-law teased na kawawa naman daw ako, bat ako wala (I actually bought a pair for myself that I paid with my own money), to which Mom said, "e kasama naman namin sya sa Taiwan."

That was when I felt like something was off. You should bring your other kid pasalubong when you failed to bring him along at yung other kid lang ang sinama mo. But that wasn't our case. It was I who brought my parents to Taiwan. They didn't bring me there. They didn't spend a single cent in that trip. So mali talaga. Nung umalma ko, Mom said, marami ka namang pera.

I remember the time na nagbaon ako ng lunch sa work para lang makaipon ng pang gastos sa pag-alis namin. She knew that. She knew also that salary just came and very few was left because I needed to pay all my credit card bills and I still have a few thousand to pay to Mel to which Mel agreed na sa March na ang bayad. Alam nya rin na wala akong leave credits at hindi ko alam kung may sasahurin pa ko next cut off. Maraming pera? Mali.

Umalma ulet ako. She offered to pay for my shoes. Pero I decided against it. Huwag na. Para kasing lagi nalang kailangan magpaawa para mabigyan. Nakakasawa. Alam kong afford ko, pero bilang anak, hindi ba ko entitled na makatanggap mula sa mga magulang ko? Ito lang ang pera ng nanay ko na hindi galing sakin. Naisipan nyang i-share sa kapatid at pamangkin ko, pero wala man lang sa akin.

BFF used to lament na hindi sya sinasama sa binibigyan ng regalo twing Christmas Party ng family nya dahil daw "marami syang pera". Ang BS non. Hindi ko gets.

Hindi ko gets kung paano mag-isip ang mga magulang. Or magulang ko lang ba ang ganito? Many times I've thought that maybe I'm not really their child because they've always favored my brother. Mom used to say na mas malakas naman daw kasi ang loob ko at mas kailangan ng kapatid ko ng assistance. I used to believe that. Now, I don't know anymore. Sino kaya ang tunay kong mga magulang?


Kailangan kong asikasuhin yung SSS para may bayad parin yung sangkaterbang leaves ko. Nakakalito yung form. Hindi ko alam kung papasok ang case ko dahil hindi naman ako na confine. Naiirita na ko. Ilang libo ba ang mawawala sakin kung pabayaan ko nalang na wala akong sahod? Alam ko malaki. At totoo, kailangan ko naman talaga ng pera. Ang hassle hassle. Parang gusto ko nalang talagang magka COVID-19.


Have you ever felt like no one got your back? 

Yeah, all these are happening on a February 14.

**** EDIT ****

Matapos ang balde baldeng luha at ilang oras na pag eemote, na realize ko na kailangan naman talaga ng pera ni Mama. Ipapagamot pa kasi ang mata ni Papa kasi isa sa mga mata nya, hindi na nakakakita. Wala naman talagang pera ang kapatid ko. Sira sira na ang sapatos nya at lagi syang nagtitipid dahil manganganak na ang asawa nya at may isa pa syang anak na pinag-aaral.

Totoo namang marami akong pera. Well, wala ngayon dahil narami kaming nagastos pero madali naman akong makakabawi. 

Ni wala ngang binili si Mama para sa sarili nya.

Masyado ring consistent ang mga kwento nila tungkol sa kapanganakan ko para maging ampon ako. Tsaka sakin nya pa pinangalan yung tindahan namin mula nung maliit pa kami.

Pinili rin ni Mama yung gusto kong resto kahit mahal.


Hindi siguro tamang naghihimutok ako ng dahil lang sa sapatos.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 06:36 PM.


House Arrest
土曜日: February 15, 2020

Lifted na ang travel ban sa Taiwan. Learned from Mel that their company is considering na wag na ituloy ang self-quarantine nila. I asked the boss if ako rin ba. Said he'll ask the Manager on Monday. Sa totoo lang, I'd love to rest some more. Tinatamad lang talaga akong mag file ng sickness benefit application sa SSS at umaasa parin ako na baka mahabol ko pa yung stats ko para sa shift bid on March.

3rd day of house arrest  (self-quarantine). Nag plano ako kung paano ako magda diet. Sinimulan ko na rin mag stationary bike for 30 minutes. Bad trip lang, naisipang mang libre ng kapatid ko. Nung lunch nagpa lechong manok sya. Hindi ako na apektohan bilang hindi naman ako kumakain ng hayop. Kaso nung meryenda, nagpa cassava cake at palabok sya. Oh well, I'll start again tomorrow. Gusto ko pag balik ko sa work, sexy na ko. Please help me, Universe.

Mel, who is also in house arrest, e nagyayayang mag jogging. Ayoko magjogging. Nakakapagod. So sabi ko mag Sagada nalang kami, or Baguio, o kaya magpa tattoo kay Wang Od. Kahit ano basta wag lang kami mag jogging She said yes to Sagada. Syempre nag jo-joke lang naman ako. Goodness, diet na diet kaya ang wallet ko ngayon. Ni hindi nga ako makapuntang SM.

Na surprise ako sa naging expenses namin sa Taiwan. Mga 30% lang ng total budget ko ang nagamit namin. Tatlo na kami non. And we were eating lavishly most of the time (though there were times na nag 7-11 lang kami or kaya nag tinapay because we didn't have much time). I have a few dollars left from our trip, may pera naman talaga ko. Hindi nga lang peso. Sayang rin kasing ipapalit. Bababa na ang value.

E kung tumuloy kaya akong Sagada? After ng hassle na nai cause ko sa boss ko with this trip, hindi ko alam kung mapapayagan pa ko sa matagalang leave next time. Hindi ko rin sure kung may leave credits pa ko. Feeling ko ito nalang ang chance kong makagala ng matagal.


Andami kong time!!! Wooohooo! Sana tuloy ang quarantine. Sana bayaran parin ng SSS ang leaves ko. Sana magkaron ng milagro sa shift bid at makuha ko parin ang gusto kong shift.

Nalinis ko na ang kwarto ko. Sunod kong gagawin e magbasa ng libro. May nabasa akong article na may book daw si Dean Koontz nung 80s pa kung saan accidentally e parang na predict nya ang pagkalat ng virus sa Wuhan ngayon. Wuhan-400 ang tawag nila sa virus dun sa book. Kaka download ko lang. Malapit ko na matapos yung isang chapter. Si Dean Koontz e isa sa mga paboritong authors namin nung college. Nagkalat ang Dean Koontz books na sumicirculate sa section namin noon. Marami kasing Dean Koontz books sa Book Sale at yun lang ang afford namin dati. Funny we can afford more expensive books now... but for some reason, we don't read as much anymore. Hindi ko masasabing dahil busy kami ngayon. We were engineering students. Boy, we were more than busy. Feeling ko nga mas busy pa kami back then kesa ngayon. Siguro sadyang naiiba lang ang priority natin as we grow older.


Siguro kailangan kong mag low-internet diet para maging productive.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:48 PM.


日曜日: February 16, 2020

House Arrest Day 4.

It's a Sunday kaya kompleto ang pamilya. May plano na naman silang kumain. Kailangang makahanap ako ng mas matinding motivation.

I had this crush since 2016. We went out around 2018-ish kaso, ayun. Mejo awkward. Pero kahit ganon, naiinspire ako sa taong yun. Ang dami naming common values. In awe din ako on how much he loves God. Yun nga lang, hindi kami parehas ng religion.

The guy posted the last time, his collection of SB mugs from different countries he'd been to. Nakita ko yung Kaohsiung, Taichung at Taoyuan, which are cities of Taiwan. I searched his album for his Taiwan pics and found yung wishes na sinulat nya sa floating lantern in Shilin:

- 8-pack abs

- low body fat

- basketball knee

- good health

- long life

- sexy

Lol. I don't know kung natupad ba nya. He never posted shirtless pics of himself in FB.

Ano nga dreams ko? I only had 1 major dream in life na natupad ko when I was 23. After that, mga mababaw na bagay nalang. Pero di ba, kahit mababaw, hindi naman ibig sabihin non, hindi na importante. Sa ngayon, ito yung mga pangarap na naiisip ko:

-maging National Champion sa Evaluation Contest 

-maging World Champion sa International Speech Contest

-mag travel a la Eat, Pray, Love

-magmukhang 20 years old regardless what actual age I'm in

-magkaroon 26 inches waistline

Now that I've actually written it, hindi naman pala ganon kababaw. Lol. Pero sa tingin ko, yung mga ganitong pangarap e madali namang tuparin basta maniniwala ka lang at kahit paano e mag effort din para matupad yun. Pero may mga pangarap kasi na beyond our control. Eto yung mga pangarap na kadalasan e may ibang taong involved. Gaya ng isa ko pang pangarap:

Bumuo ng pamilya.

But even that, sa tingin ko e makukuha mo rin naman kung gusto mo talaga. In my case, sa tingin ko kasi, masyado kong nae-enjoy ang buhay dalaga, hindi ko sure kung kaya ko ba talagang i-give up lahat ng nae-enjoy ko ngayon kapalit ng pag-aasawa. Worth it ba?

Siguro worth it naman. Kailangan ko lang talagang mamili ng tamang taong makakasama.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:05 PM.


why bakit why
: February 16, 2020

Takte, ang dami na palang nangyari. Hindi ko ma absorb.

I've learned that TL/Crush is leaving the company na, at till March 16 nalang sya. What the eff. Kahit siguro sakaling hindi ko crush yun, malulungkot parin ako, kasi takte, ang bait samin non. Wahuhuhu. Bakit??!


Itigil na natin ang kalokohang self-quarantine na to. Gusto ko na bumalik sa office. Boy, this is heartbreaking . T_T

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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:50 PM.


月曜日: February 17, 2020

So I just went to a government office to day in the hope that I can have the rest of my leaves covered. The doc there said, kung hindi ka sick, you're not entitled to it. Vinerify ko pa sa actual officer kasi bago lang naman daw dun si Doc. Syempre nakipag argue pa ko. Mukhang natakot naman sila sa taray ko at binigyan ako ng options. Nowhere near good ones though. In the end, they suggested that I call the main hotline.

Nakakapagod ipaglaban ang sarili mong benefits. Iisip nalang ako ng way para kumita ng pera habang naka tengga ako sa bahay.

Sinong may kailangan ng kidney?

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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:54 PM.


Band aid
月曜日: February 17, 2020

I just revived my dating profile in various dating websites. Sabi nila, when you lose a person daw tas hindi ka nag move on dahil feeling mo wala ka nang makikilalang tao who will make you feel the same way, scarcity mindset daw yun. I hate scarcity mindset.

Hindi naman talaga applicable sa situation. I didn't lose anything. I'm just sad. Putek, may na swipe right pa ko na kamukha nya. Lol. This is silly.

I'm naturally detached. Nadi disorient din ako sa mga emotions na unuasual sakin or kaya yung mga extreme. Madalas hindi ko na ine examine kung ano bang na fi-feel ko. Lol, ni hindi ko alam ang difference ng tamang fondness lang sa romantic attraction. Hindi na rin ako pupunta sa topic ng love kasi masyado yung higher level para sakin, tipong papunta ng outer space. Kaya ngayon na nalulungkot ako ng dahil sa isang tao, nako confuse ako... pero teka, ano bang point?

Maybe I just need to meet more people.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:03 PM.


木曜日: February 20, 2020

I had a dream. Nini and I were working for a props of an event involving foreign people. When we were done, we needed to climb a mountain-ish slope to get to where we needed to get to. About one feet into climbing the slope, ang dulas dulas na daw at di na ko makaakyat. Nasa taas na si Nini. There were people around so I asked for help. Nini gave me a glance, not sure if she left me for a reason, basta nagising ako na hindi pa ko nakakaakyat sa taas.

I always dream dreams like that. Climbing and not making it to the top. Tipong hindi naman talaga nahuhulog, sadyang na iistuck lang dun. Hanging. Kahit sa bible may ibig sabihin ang dreams. Ano kayang ibigsabihin non?

Bored out of my wits. Gusto ko mag Baguio. Or Sagada. Or kahit mamasyal lang sa mga museums around Metro. I just learned that Mel visited the hospital for frozen shoulders. Hindi nya magalaw ang right shoulder nya, wala akong mayaya. Tapos naalala ko, wala nga rin pala akong sasahurin kaya kailangan ko rin magtipid.

Nakakatamad sa Earth. 

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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:16 AM.


Rolling sleeves up
木曜日: February 20, 2020

Past few days, I've been reading "eye of the darkness" by Dean Koontz. Eto yung fiction book na naisulat nung 80s pa pero para napredict nya ang existence ng COVID-19. For days nakakulong ako sa kwarto at lumalabas lang para mag wiwi or kumain, all to finish the book. Bigla akong na home sick. Kaya today, I spent time, like really spent time, with my family kahit nasa bahay lang. Ang weird naman kasi yung na homesick ka kahit nasa bahay ka lang. Lol. The book can wait.


Iniisip ko parin yung ibig sabihin nung panaginip ko kagabi. Kahit naman kasi sa bible, may interpretations ang mga panaginip. Iniisip ko kung related ba to sa love life ko na hindi ko maayos.

Kaya today, sinagot ko lahat ng nag message sakin sa dating site kahit tamad na tamad ako mag type.

Umoo din ako sa team building ng office namin kahit na I don't usually go to team buildings. Well, partly kasi natatakot din akong maiwan sa office para mag support, and partly to get to know the people there, especially the single men. Bukod sa crush ko na ni hindi ako sure kung single ba, wala naman akong ibang bet sa office. Pero malay mo.

Then there's this dude lurking around. He doesn't have a good reputation in our circle. Nothing extreme. Inentertain ko na rin. Again, malay mo.

Naalala ko yung sabi ni Andee. Ang mga single daw e dapat laging nakikipag date. Hindi para makilala yung guy, kundi para mas makilala mo pa yung sarili mo. I guess I'm taking that advice.

Naalala ko rin kasi si Parrot. I ignored that guy for years, and when I tried to go out with him, he turned out to be a really good guy pala. Dapat laging open sa possibilities. (Parrot is already married now with his very pretty wife, btw).

Ayoko lang magkamali. At kung sakali man na sa pagiging mapili ko e manatili na kong single, ok lang din. I actually live an incredibly wonderful life as a single person. It's not going to be so bad. 

Ang mahalaga lang e yung wag mahulog or magpauto ulit sa maling tao. Nag-iingat ako sa part na yon. I'm convinced though that my values in life have a stronger hold of me now, than my emotions do. I should fine.

Sa ngayon, gawin na natin to.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:27 PM.


金曜日: February 21, 2020

Hello Tabby. I'm back. I guess you'll see more of me these days dahil wala akong ginagawa at hindi pa ko makapasok sa trabaho. Pagbalik ko sa work, mahirap na namang makahanap ng time para sumulat dito.

Halos kababalik ko lang sa bahay.

Dad was in the hospital to see an Opta. He needs to get his eyes operated daw, sabi ng doc. 81,000 pesos. This is for just one of his eyes. The other eye needs to be operated once the other is fully healed. Will probably need another 81k by then. We met at SM to eat lunch when they told me about it. I noticed Dad's arms were cold so I asked if he's scared of the operation. It was then that he started crying to which Mom started crying too. Dad said he's scared of the 81,000. I ruffled his hair and assured him we have a lot of money. Ang sarap sabihin na maraming kang pera. Mas madali kasing maniwala na totoo even when there's nothing much to be found on my wallet, niether on my bank account. Pero kahit ganun, I'm glad that this is happening now at hindi back when I earn less than half of what I earn now pa. Hindi ko parin alam kung paano mag produce ng 81k in 2 weeks though.

On the way back home, Mom thought about the alternative that the Doc told them about, which will reduce the amount to be paid by 75%. If this will work, wala na kaming problema.


Will be visiting Tito Leo tomorrow. They live in a place that looks like a squatters area around QC, but don't be fooled. They're not poor. Tito Leo owns a lugawan operating 24 hrs that is earning big enough for him to make his 2 daughters quit their jobs and help out with the lugawan instead.

Magtayo nalang kaya ako ng lugawan no?

Still, I'm not looking forward to go to Tito Leo's place except for the lugaw. Ang init kasi. Ang sikip. Ang daming tao. Mas gusto ko nalang mag stay sa bahay at magbasa. Pwede naman ako mag stay nalang sa bahay at magbasa. Kaso.... wala lang.


Next Friday na ang balik ko sa trabaho. One of my colleagues told me na ang dami daw Japanese calls these days. Sobrang dami that some of them needed to report to work on their rest days na. Sabi nila baka hanggang 23rd pa yung ganito karaming calls. Nawa ang hindi ko na abutan. Or at least not for now. Kasi naman, nakalimutan ko na yata kung paano mag support. Gusto ko naman makakuha ng Japanese calls. Wag lang muna ngayon. Kailangan ko muna mag review.


Inaalala ko rin ang pagtatapos ng term at ang susunod na election ng officers. Natatakot akong ma elect na president. I don't know what else to do to prevent this from happening. Wag na kaya ako mag renew? Takte.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:00 PM.


月曜日: February 24, 2020

It's almost 2AM and I haven't slept yet. I'm supposed to wake up in 2hrs. Accompanying Parents to the Doc to have Dad's eyes checked in a public hospital in QC. Maaga daw aalis dahil mahaba ang pila. Mas gusto ko sana matulog nalang.

The day went with me cleaning my room. I'm not finished yet. I thought my days will be hayahay but the Universe planned differently. Hopefully, by Tuesday, my room will no longer look like a damp site.

Few days and I will be back to work. 1 day to my 9-6pm sched. I have no idea what my March sched will be. Bahala ka na sakin, Universe. Inaalala ko lang yung mga ganap sa office. If panggabi ako tas may team building, paano kaya yun? Hindi matutulog?

I read the groupings from the email. Nabasa ko rin yung nakasulat na toka toka rin pag dating sa chores like cooking and dishwashing. When I told Mom about it, she was like, "sabihin mo sa kanila, hindi ka pwede maghugas ng plato. Yung kamay mo..." referring to my allergies. Jeeesh. Sana luto nalang mapunta sa group namin. Yun nga lang, hindi rin ako marunong magluto. Iniisip ko rin ang pagkain. Hindi ako kumakain ng hayop. Sabaw sabaw nalang siguro. Sighs ulit.

I don't want to cause any hassle to these people. Ito talaga yung reason kung bakit ayoko sa lumabas kasama ng mga tao na hindi ko pa masyadong ka close. Ang dami ko kasing issue sa buhay.

Ewan. Saka ko na siguro to proproblemahin.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 02:14 AM.


火曜日: February 25, 2020

I'm just a little bothered. Nothing serious naman.

A friend announced to our ladies' GC her happiness about her club being able to open a bank account under their club's name. Said the maintaining balance is 50k and all of these, they got from their club fund and a kidney daw. I immediately thought the 'kidney' part was a joke.

We congratulated the friend. But the math-loving kiddo in me felt restless. I got a calculator and started computing. Theirs is a relatively new club and an even smaller one. Even with the size of my own club, I knew it's impossible to have a 50k fund. So I asked, "seryoso yung kidney?"

The friend didn't confirm but said something like, "kailangan kasi e." I think this is outrageous and utterly impractical. Things felt off because that friend doesn't seem to be someone who do impractical things. I still can't rest. But if the friend is happy... go nalang siguro. It was then that she said, "hindi pa pala kumpleto 50k, need pa namin ng isang kidney."

Then followed... "baka gusto nyo mag donate ng pusong hindi nagagamit." Lol. I felt attacked.

I love my girls, you know. I still think that they should've used the money for something else though. The bank account, after all, doesn't have any other purpose other than to recieve money, which they'll be sending to the international website soon enough anyway. Hindi ko ma gets. Pero hayaan na natin.


Few days and I'll be back to work. Parang ang dami nang nagbago sa setup sa trabaho. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako magsu-survive. Lalo na pag nalipat nako sa panggabi. Hayst... help, please, Universe.

Aalis na yung TL namin soon. Mabait din naman yung papalit. Siguro magiging okay naman. Pero nakakalungkot pa rin. From what I know, open pa ang QA. Sana mapunta kay PK. Wala lang. Para masaya. Naalala ko lang yung interview ko nung nag aapply pa ko rito.

TL: matagal ka sa dati mong company, what made you stay?

Z: the people are nice.

TL: mabait din ang mga tao rito. Magugustuhan mo rito.

Tapos ngayon, aalis sya. Ano kaya yun?

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 12:40 PM.


水曜日: February 26, 2020

Malapit na kong bumalik sa trabaho. Hindi pa rin ako payat. Huhu! T_T


Fellowship night on Friday in our club. Videoke daw. I already confirmed my attendance. But Boss sent a message today saying may plan to eat out daw sa office, asking if sasama ako. Friday din, and I said yes also.

I'm very close to the people in the club. I love them like a family. But I also want to get to know the office people better. Bukod dun, aalis na rin si Boss. Gusto ko muna sila makasama. Hahabol nalang siguro ko sa club. The 21-year old kiddo requested this kind of event. I want to know kung magaling talaga syang kumanta. Nakakatawa he made a joke time poster about the event kunyari "album launching" containing a picture of me from more than 10 years ago. Lol.

But this is a good problem, isn't it.


Dad is  done with all the necessary lab tests. We're waiting for results on Friday. By Monday, pwede na syang operahan. He seemed considerably happier these days knowing na hindi na namin kailangang maglabas ng 81k. The cost of the whole procedure, including the laboratory tests, is more or less 10k lang in a public hospital, so all good. Thank you, Universe!


Sis-in-law is pregnant. CS sya so they can pick the date of the baby's birth. Around early May, I'll be having my first ever nephew. I'm more than excited.

But recently, weird things had been happening in the house. We've been hearing bird-like sounds at night and sometimes room doors are opening by itself. I, too, am hearing that "tik, tik, tik" sound whenever I go to the bathroom downstairs around past 12 mn. Tito Leo gave Mom some branches which he instructed to be put on the doors and windows. This will prevent any aswang daw from getting near. Mom also instructed sis-in-law never to leave their room alone if she needs to pee. Mom told her to always wake up Bro and bring him with her. 

Hindi ako masyadong naniniwala sa aswang, pero natatakot parin ako para sa pamangkin ko. Konting kembot nalang at lalabas na sya. Sana naman, maging maayos ang lahat.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 02:20 PM.


木曜日: February 27, 2020

It's 36 minutes past midnight. No tik tik tik sound whatsoever. All good. In a few hours, I'll be visiting the doctor to get a clearance to get back to work.

I was chatting with Mel a few days back. Sabi nya napapaisip daw sya kung gusto nya yung trabaho nya. Halos isang buwan kasi syang hindi pumasok, pero hindi nya naman daw namiss.

Namiss ko ba ang trabaho ko?

Ewan ko. Ang alam ko lang, kinakabahan ako dahil sabi ng isang ka officemate ko, ang dami na daw nadagdag sa trabaho namin. Methods at work are ever-changing. Laging may nababago or nadadagdag sa KB namin. Kinakabahan ako na baka mangamote ako pag balik ko sa trabaho. Lalo na kung maibabalik na ko sa panggabi. Jusko Lowrd!

Hindi ko alam kung namiss ko ba ang trabaho ko. Ang alam ko lang, Jusko, nagpapanic na ko! T_T


Kain-tulog days. Iniisip ko kung kasya pa ba sakin ang mga damit ko.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 12:45 AM.


Dark Clouds
金曜日: February 28, 2020

I'm back to work, alright. Nothing seem to have changed. Makukulit parin ang mga kasama ko sa trabaho. I'm good and happy.

Except, when I'm alone, there's that dark cloud hovering on top of my head, and there's that heaviness in my chest, I don't know what to do with.

You see, my dog, Gigi, died today.

Just a year ago, she got so sick and was dying but somehow survived. I asked the Heavens to lend her to us some more, and the Heavens did. But this time, I asked and asked for extension... but Mom texted, wala na daw e. Wala na si Gigi.

I don't know. Universe... bakit po?

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 01:53 PM.


土曜日: February 29, 2020

Just got home and couldnt help but cry because Gigi is no longer here to greet me. This is the first time that I cried since Mom texted me na wala na si Gigi yesterday. I miss my Gigi so much. 

Ilang minutes palang ako nakakaupo sa sofa when sis-in-law texted Mom that she needs to be admitted in the hospital daw. The doc said that if her BP will keep on going higher, sis-in-law might need to deliver my nephew prematurely.

Then there's Dad's operation to be scheduled for on Monday. I'll only recieve 1-day pay for the next cut off.

Ok lang. Kaya to. Pero pwede, wag naman sunod sunod, Universe.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 03:40 PM.


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"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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